Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So here are the full details of what transpired on Wednesday evening. (See tl;dr)
I was drinking at home (I am 20, so underage) and my sister was providing me with alcohol. I was taking shots and at one point, she said I'd had enough. Well, that didn't bother me. But her attitude about it did and I know that's not an excuse but for the past few years she's just been moping around, doing nothing, acting like she's 100x superior to anyone. And this was one of those cases where she acted as though she was God towards me. I don't remember quite how she said no but she did and the way she did seriously upset me.
I said really cruel, unimaginable things. I am NEVER an angry drunk so I don't know where it came from. I've been trying for years to make her feel better. For the past month or so, I've been clean of drugs (besides Alcohol obviously), really helpful and positive around the house, making great strides to improve my mental health, so social, going to therapy and taking my meds as prescribed... And this just came out of nowhere but I was saying things like "I hate you, I wish you would kill yourself" to my sister. Again, things I'd never say if not drunk and I realize they were hurtful and so wrong and I have, since, apologized profusely.
Anyway, I was screaming pretty loud, "hysterical" according to my mom. The noise woke my dad up, who proceeded to come into the room and backhand me across the face. Hard. Like, I fell over onto the bed and now have bruising on the right side of my face.
I called the police because at that point I was terrified for anything that might happen next, and we were both booked (I for waking him up, i.e. disorderly conduct, and underage possession of alcohol) and he for hitting me. (I also must say I can't believe they would arrest someone when they were worried about their safety... was I supposed to let whatever could've happened happen so that I wouldn't be charged?)
Well, the police said to me "Your dad owns the house so we can't force him to leave." But there is a temporary restraining order on him to not be in contact with me. So at this point, I was left without a place to go. I called my ex and ended up staying there... but it was only a temporary agreement and now I have no place to go. This is so frustrating, as I sit here at my gym, waiting to hear from anyone I can ask. I know there are resources but I don't know the first thing about finding them, plus most look for people who have been repeatedly abused.
tl;dr : My dad hit me, owns the house and we're not allowed in contact so now I don't know where to go since I don't know many people around here.
Any ideas? Help? Suggestions? /: Anything would be helpful, it's almost 1 pm and the gym closes at 5:30 today...
Well, the police said to me "Your dad owns the house so we can't force him to leave." But there is a temporary restraining order on him to not be in contact with me. So at this point, I was left without a place to go. I called my ex and ended up staying there... but it was only a temporary agreement and now I have no place to go. This is so frustrating, as I sit here at my gym, waiting to hear from anyone I can ask. I know there are resources but I don't know the first thing about finding them, plus most look for people who have been repeatedly abused.
When there is a protection from abuse order, the abuser has to leave the house and the victim gets to say. It doesn't matter who owns the house. That's different from a restraining order, but it sounds like you want to make amends with your father. How long is the temporary restraining order?
Find out the address of the nearest homeless shelter.
Start calling everyone that you know for a place to stay for a few nights. Your minister, your neighbors, shirt tail relatives, high school friends or acquaintances. Are there a few places that are open 24 a day? Walmart? Gas stations? Bus station? Hospital emergency rooms? At least you won't freeze to death if you go from one place to another once they kick you out.
Call the non-emergency police phone number and ask for ideas.
When there is a protection from abuse order, the abuser has to leave the house and the victim gets to say. It doesn't matter who owns the house. That's different from a restraining order, but it sounds like you want to make amends with your father. How long is the temporary restraining order?
That's not the law in NH apparently. He I guess offered to get a hotel and they said I couldn't be there since he owns it.
It's at least another week. I don't plan to make amends, I want to separate myself from that but I can't just call the YWCA and get that figured out right away... plus they're closed today.
Find out the address of the nearest homeless shelter.
Start calling everyone that you know for a place to stay for a few nights. Your minister, your neighbors, shirt tail relatives, high school friends or acquaintances. Are there a few places that are open 24 a day? Walmart? Gas stations? Bus station? Hospital emergency rooms? At least you won't freeze to death if you go from one place to another once they kick you out.
Call the non-emergency police phone number and ask for ideas.
Good luck to you.
There are barely any homeless shelters out here, much less for people not in domestic (partner) abuse. Most are even closed. The closest 24 hour anything near where I am is 15 miles away and I am carless.
I tried calling a few numbers but everything is closed on Sunday.
There are barely any homeless shelters out here, much less for people not in domestic (partner) abuse. Most are even closed. The closest 24 hour anything near where I am is 15 miles away and I am carless.
I tried calling a few numbers but everything is closed on Sunday.
Perhaps, start calling churches in your area.
Or friends of your siblings.
Perhaps you need to start going up to complete strangers and ask them for suggestions.
Whatever, you do not let the YMCA staff just push you out the door at closing time, even if they have to call the police (at least you will get a ride to the warm police station). That happened to a HS friend of my son, who did not have a ride home from the YMCA in Wisconsin in winter and walked several miles home and developed frostbite on his face, hands and feet. (His divorced mom thought that dad was picking him up and dad thought that mom was picking him up and no one showed up).
Talk to the YMCA staff now for ideas.
Obviously, next time don't get drunk and cause a ruckus.
Perhaps you need to start going up to complete strangers and ask them for suggestions.
Whatever, you do not let the YMCA staff just push you out the door at closing time, even if they have to call the police (at least you will get a ride to the warm police station). That happened to a HS friend of my son, who did not have a ride home from the YMCA in Wisconsin in winter and walked several miles home and developed frostbite on his face, hands and feet. (His divorced mom thought that dad was picking him up and dad thought that mom was picking him up and no one showed up).
Talk to the YMCA staff now for ideas.
Obviously, next time don't get drunk and cause a ruckus.
I really wish it was that easy. My sisters are similar to me- don't really know anyone in the area.
I don't really feel like ending up in the police station again.
I might be able to stay at my Great-Aunt's apartment but she's 88 and has dementia ... that's the only contact my mom will make with me is to get me new clothes and get me there.
Thank you for your help
Edit: I rated your post positively then saw your edit. Not really something I need to hear anymore, considering my entire family is attempting to make me feel horrible.
I used to volunteer with the YWCA in the domestic abuse program and domestic abuse is not limited to partners - it can also be family members. Just FIY. But I also know that homeless shelters and programs like the YWCA (if you are female) tend to be overwhelmed with need.
Sounds like for now, getting to your great aunt's place is your best bet, at least you will have a place to stay safe tonight.
You mentioned you've been clean - does that mean you've been through counseling or rehab for drug problems? Are there any contacts in that regard you could call?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
