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I know some people (mostly women) who have young children. Some have a significant other while some are completely unattached. These people go out clubbing or partying 1-3 times a week. I see their FB newsfeed with pictures of them drinking and dirty dancing w/ their gf's. Their kids are at home, presumably w/ a babysitter.
Do you feel as I do that this is irresponsible behavior? Or do parents, especially single ones, have a right to go clubbing/partying on a regular basis?
Of course they have a right to do whatever they like. That doesn't mean they are making smart choices, but it doesn't mean they aren't. Either way it's not something you really need to worry about.
I know some people (mostly women) who have young children. Some have a significant other while some are completely unattached. These people go out clubbing or partying 1-3 times a week. I see their FB newsfeed with pictures of them drinking and dirty dancing w/ their gf's. Their kids are at home, presumably w/ a babysitter.
Do you feel as I do that this is irresponsible behavior? Or do parents, especially single ones, have a right to go clubbing/partying on a regular basis?
Well, in real life I wouldn't pass judgement if the kids are being well cared for in general. However, this is a relatively anonymous internet forum, and so I'm going to feel free to be totally judgemental and tell what I actually think to myself when I see that happen. I think the parent is totally immature and probably had kids too soon. I look down on them and think my child is lucky to have an older mom who puts his needs first and doesn't even want to go out to bars and act stupid. Actually, I haven't gone out to bars drinking and dancing since I was in my early 20's, and even then I never acted as foolishly as I remember some girls acting. I guess I think because I don't drink that also makes me a better mom and better person in general than those women. Ever since I graduated from college I've sort of felt that going out and getting drunk is immature and a little pathetic - something that should be left behind after the early 20's, if one ever did it at all.
Horrible and judgmental, yes, but that's what I actually think, even though I might not say it.
Would it be ok if they went to classes or meetings 2-3 nights a week? What about a quiet neighborhood bar with friends? Ballroom dance lessons? Movies with friends? What is it you actually object to, specifically?
Okay, I'll speak for myself as the devil's advocate. Before I do, I'm going to preface this by saying that I had a great childhood with my grandparents at their tree farm and had a lot of fun, and quite frankly, felt closer to them than my mother even though my brother and I were with her throughout the week and with our grandparents on the weekends. I wouldn't honestly change any of it.
But I can see how it affected my life, mostly in the way that I got a lot less out-of-school socialization with my peers. I didn't have the luxury of attending birthday parties and sleepovers and play-dates simply because it would've been inconvenient for my mother's incessant partying. Therefore there was a lot I missed and I was never really part of "the group" at school. But our childhood was like heaven compared to my mom and uncles' childhoods. And she wonders why my one uncle is still angry about his childhood, forty-something years later. He really needs therapy and she does too, but anyway...
That's my two cents.
Quote:
Originally Posted by josh u
I know some people (mostly women) who have young children. Some have a significant other while some are completely unattached. These people go out clubbing or partying 1-3 times a week. I see their FB newsfeed with pictures of them drinking and dirty dancing w/ their gf's. Their kids are at home, presumably w/ a babysitter.
Do you feel as I do that this is irresponsible behavior? Or do parents, especially single ones, have a right to go clubbing/partying on a regular basis?
I have just one question for you; would you hold fathers to the same standards as mothers, or is it okay for fathers to go out chugging mind-altering substances and chasing ass all weekend, but it's not okay for mothers to go blow off steam with the girls? Why are people so damn judgmental of single parents?? And for the record, a lot of married parents party a lot and do the swinging thing as well. Where's all the hate and judgment about that??
My parents were very young when they had me (still in college) so apparently I was babysat a lot by grandparents so they could go out from time to time. I don't feel strongly about it. I don't think I missed out on much and they were still in their early 20's. As long as it's not excessive I guess.
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