Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
When I asked my dad he simply said it was because 'it's different because I'm a girl' and 'if the neighbours saw a guy coming out of our house with me they would think I'm a ****'.
then you should have said, "well, if you let a girl like that in here, aren't the neighbors thinking something's wrong with you for allowing it? Either way, it's in your house."
Ask them when they became such convenient catholics. Or suggest they go discuss this with their church priest.
It's highly unlikely that your parents will change, no matter how you try to convince them.
So you have two choices ... accept them the way they are, or don't. If you don't, it will make life with them very difficult. So it seems the best option is to accept that's the way it is. And continue toward the goal of moving out.
It's not really about them being sexist, it's about relaxing the rules after they're done raising the eldest child. I saw that with my parents...when I was in college, I had to be home by 10 every night, but my sister who was in high school was allowed to go to her boyfriend's house and watch movies as late as she wanted and she was totally honest that they were watching movies in his bed.
When I got married and we stayed at my parents house a couple nights, we weren't allowed to sleep in the same room. They had the same policy for my middle sister and her husband, but my youngest sister is allowed to bring her boyfriend for a visit and sleep in the same room with him.
I asked my parents once why they let my sister get away with so much more and they said they were just plain worn out from fighting all of us over the years and they'd given up, that we did what we wanted and still turned out okay and youngest sis would too.
Location: Prince Georges County, MD (formerly Long Island, NY)
1,558 posts, read 2,731,176 times
Reputation: 1652
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom
It's not really about them being sexist, it's about relaxing the rules after they're done raising the eldest child. I saw that with my parents...when I was in college, I had to be home by 10 every night, but my sister who was in high school was allowed to go to her boyfriend's house and watch movies as late as she wanted and she was totally honest that they were watching movies in his bed.
When I got married and we stayed at my parents house a couple nights, we weren't allowed to sleep in the same room. They had the same policy for my middle sister and her husband, but my youngest sister is allowed to bring her boyfriend for a visit and sleep in the same room with him.
I asked my parents once why they let my sister get away with so much more and they said they were just plain worn out from fighting all of us over the years and they'd given up, that we did what we wanted and still turned out okay and youngest sis would too.
Casting my vote for this. I'm the eldest, and my younger sisters got away with murder compared to me.
Whenever I confronted my parents on it, instead of admitting they eased up, they always tried to come up with a flimsy excuse as to why it's different. That might explain your parents trying to throw it under the guise of gender differences.
Honestly, that's just the nature of being the oldest.
Location: Prince Georges County, MD (formerly Long Island, NY)
1,558 posts, read 2,731,176 times
Reputation: 1652
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused
Doesn't surprise me, Catholics are messed up yo. No offense to anyone.
Saying no offense doesn't automatically eradicate the offensiveness of your post. Please don't throw out generalizations, I'm sure you're smarter than that
Saying no offense doesn't automatically eradicate the offensiveness of your post. Please don't throw out generalizations, I'm sure you're smarter than that
This is the "offensive" post you found in this thread? I find it much more offensive how many people are saying it's okay that this double standard exists. I got news for you, folks, double standards like this are the reason so many women think so lowly of themselves.
When I say boyfriends I literally mean 2. I think most people have had more than 1 partner between the ages of 16 and 23.
When I asked my dad he simply said it was because 'it's different because I'm a girl' and 'if the neighbours saw a guy coming out of our house with me they would think I'm a ****'.
To everyone who told me to simply move out, I was ill for over a year and didn't work. I'm still catching up on the debt from that year, and cannot afford to move on my current salary. I'm using this time to save for my future. Even if I did move, I would obviously still come back and visit and the fact that I am treated so differently would still hurt me.
So sorry about this. Heck, yeah, it's hurtful to see and feel your parent's sexist beliefs. You mentioned lots of arguments about this, so I take it you've clearly expressed your opinion. In my experience, sexist views never change.
My parents were extremely sexist (and proud of it) when I was growing up. Even now, as an adult, I hear their sexist comments (yes, still some about what they perceive the mom's role to be) and other comments directed at other people and society in general.
The sad part about your post is that you love interacting with your family. So even when you eventually move out, you will still experience the hurt when you see them interject their sexist opinions and expectations. You seem to get along with them, so you care about their opinions. I don't see the hurt going away anytime soon.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
