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I'm not offended. It's a legitimate choice. And I'm not one of those obnoxious people who pester people on the subject. The only thing I would offer is that having children has a universe of joy to it that is heretofore unsuspected by those who don't have them. But if they don't want kids, no skin off my nose or anyone else's.
I'm gonna have to disagree here, I've gotten a lot of flack about not wanting kids, most often from strangers or people I know very casually, our families haven't really given us grief, just the occasional prod.
It may not be an issue for you, but I've encountered probably just as many people that get pissy that you don't want/have kids as the amount of ugliness I see on the other side of the aisle in terms of saying things like "breeders" and making nasty comments of that order.
I'm gonna have to disagree here, I've gotten a lot of flack about not wanting kids, most often from strangers or people I know very casually, our families haven't really given us grief, just the occasional prod.
It may not be an issue for you, but I've encountered probably just as many people that get pissy that you don't want/have kids as the amount of ugliness I see on the other side of the aisle in terms of saying things like "breeders" and making nasty comments of that order.
I'm totally neutral on the subject, personally.
It is always assumed that I hate kids, or other such nonsense.
The thing that ticks me off about the "Do you hate kids?" questioners is they aren't taking into consideration that I may have actually wanted kids, but was unable to have them. They are making a huge (and very rude) assumption that childless people hate kids. Personally, I love kids, I just don't want to be a parent.
I want to have children one day and I've had my mind made up since my teens. I have a weird caveman-like obligation that I feel to reproduce and carry on the family name because I'm the last male left in my bloodline who can really pull it off at this point. But outside of that cro magnon logic I do genuinely want to help raise a baby human into a fully functioning adult one day and I'm pretty good with kids now, at least in manageable numbers anyways. I'm kind of weird though in that I'd really like to be a father one day but the idea of being dad in a traditional family really turns me off. Like the idea of being the stereotypical dad who has to retreat into some "mancave" that he's built for himself in his own house to get some feeling of peace just really, really seems awful. Maybe it's because growing up these were the only dads I really encountered, they were all just so damn defeated lol.
It's ridiculous, actually...
I've heard people refer to their pets as their babies,
or they say 'come to mommy' when they talk to their cats.
Makes me cringe
If you know you don't want kids, please do not have them! You probably have very good reasons for not doing so. I have no issues with those who truly know they would not make good parents.
If you are undecided about having kids, you probably really do want kids but are just afraid of how it will change your lifestyle. To these people I say, go ahead and do it! It's probably something you would regret not doing in the long run. People in this category often wait too long and end up having kids much later. This can be good from a financial perspective but not from a energy/health perspective. We waited until our Mid to late 30's to have kids and both my wife and I developed significant health issues since then. We are in our early 40's and don't really have the energy to keep up with small children. I wish we would have had them in our late 20's instead.
To those that absolutely know they really want kids? Have them early and often! Kids are lots of fun and lots of work. Enjoy them while both you are young so you can keep up with both the fun and the work!
I want to have children one day and I've had my mind made up since my teens. I have a weird caveman-like obligation that I feel to reproduce and carry on the family name because I'm the last male left in my bloodline who can really pull it off at this point. But outside of that cro magnon logic I do genuinely want to help raise a baby human into a fully functioning adult one day and I'm pretty good with kids now, at least in manageable numbers anyways. I'm kind of weird though in that I'd really like to be a father one day but the idea of being dad in a traditional family really turns me off. Like the idea of being the stereotypical dad who has to retreat into some "mancave" that he's built for himself in his own house to get some feeling of peace just really, really seems awful. Maybe it's because growing up these were the only dads I really encountered, they were all just so damn defeated lol.
I was an only child growing up and also felt this primordial urge to reproduce to "carry on the family line". It's been hard, but I don't regret it at all except that I should have done it younger and married someone that wasn't so hestitent in that regard.
. I'm kind of weird though in that I'd really like to be a father one day but the idea of being dad in a traditional family really turns me off. Like the idea of being the stereotypical dad who has to retreat into some "mancave" that he's built for himself in his own house to get some feeling of peace just really, really seems awful. Maybe it's because growing up these were the only dads I really encountered, they were all just so damn defeated lol.
You don't have fit any kind of traditional mold of a Dad. I do recommend being married though first because children need stability. Just seeing them on weekends doesn't cut it (Choose a wife wisely though, divorce is a b**ch for men nowadays)
I can assure you that being the kind of Dad that is not involved and just retreats to his man cave is pretty unacceptable today, at least in the affluent suburb I live in. I do all sorts of stuff with my kids. Hikes, the beach, taking the train to Manhattan to spend the day, movies, playgrounds, amusement parks, etc. I even drove back from Florida to New York with a 4 and 8 year old all by myself because my wife had to come home early from our vacation. It takes alot of energy, but I like to do fun, adventurous things with my 2 boys. It's great being a dad!
You don't have fit any kind of traditional mold of a Dad. I do recommend being married though first because children need stability. Just seeing them on weekends doesn't cut it (Choose a wife wisely though, divorce is a b**ch for men nowadays)
I can assure you that being the kind of Dad that is not involved and just retreats to his man cave is pretty unacceptable today, at least in the affluent suburb I live in. I do all sorts of stuff with my kids. Hikes, the beach, taking the train to Manhattan to spend the day, movies, playgrounds, amusement parks, etc. I even drove back from Florida to New York with a 4 and 8 year old all by myself because my wife had to come home early from our vacation. It takes alot of energy, but I like to do fun, adventurous things with my 2 boys. It's great being a dad!
I agree with your comments about dads in the past being sort of absent. It seems like dads in the old days hardly had interaction with the kids, I experienced this with myself as well as other kids growing up, I'm a gen X'er mid 40's.
It seems like the dad these days apear to be more involved, that is a good thing.
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