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It's not your marriage & not your responsibility to make his wife feel secure. She might have insecurity issues, and there's nothing you can do to help that. From what I read in your OP, though, she may not-the only thing she was concerned about was you two sharing a tent-I would think any spouse would be a little concerned about that. If he starts bringing up a lot of similar questions that she is asking, then it may be time to worry that you may lose a fishing friend.
On one hand, I would hate to lose a friend and a fishing buddy, but on the other hand I feel bad that our friendship and fishing trip carpooling is apparently causing strain.
You asked if you could do anything to reassure her.
Call and tell her what her husband told you, and tell her there's no overnight plans and no romantic interest or intent on your part. Whether he's being truthful or not, the wife will at least know you and he had the conversation and how you feel about it. She's entitled to know that much, whether it rocks the boat or not. That's all you can do.
You asked if you could do anything to reassure her.
Call and tell her what her husband told you, and tell her there's no overnight plans and no romantic interest or intent on your part. Whether he's being truthful or not, the wife will at least know you and he had the conversation and how you feel about it. She's entitled to know that much, whether it rocks the boat or not. That's all you can do.
I disagree with this approach. If my husband had a fishing buddy who was a woman, I have no problem with it. But if she were to call me and tell me he told her something I said to him privately, I would be pissed.
I think she should just stay silent and let him work it out with his wife.
I'm pretty sure the "older gentlemen" is slightly more interested in the OP than she's letting on. This whole platonic thing is usually from the woman's perspective. Men are dogs. If the OP is even remotely attractive, he's thinking about more than the trout on the end of his line. I ascribe to the Billy Crystal theory from When Harry Met Sally; "Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her"
On one hand, I would hate to lose a friend and a fishing buddy, but on the other hand I feel bad that our friendship and fishing trip carpooling is apparently causing strain.
If you suspect this, you need to find another buddy.
Get another person to join the fishing party - an even younger woman! No seriously, another guy - even better if he is your fella. Then the 4 of you should do couple things together from time to time.
Um, what if the wife thought you "fished in the other pond" aka from La Isla Lesbo?
Even though she hates fishing, he should invite her on a trip. She can bring a book and just see how it is and be reassured. I can imagine her perspective and am sympathetic. That he still is fishing with you leads me to think she is actually pretty reasonable.
Is there anything you and she could do as friends?
There IS something going on, even if it's not romantic or sexual.
This man is spending hours at a time with you, engaging in a shared passion (fishing) while carrying on interesting conversations about a wide range of topics. Aside from sex, that's a lot of what makes for a fulfilling, long term relationship. Granted, if you were a man she wouldn't be jealous, but she may very well feel jealous of the close relationship you have with her husband.
As far as what to do about it, it's really up to him and his wife. If you want to do something, you can back off and not spend so much time with him, or you can try to include her in some way. Why don't you suggest asking her to go along on one of the day trips? Even if she doesn't like to fish, she might enjoy the trip and hanging out.
The last thing I would do is call her and say, "I'm not having an affair with your husband." I can't think of anything more embarrassing for everyone involved.
I would suggest inviting her along (with or without him) to something other than fishing. Something she might enjoy. Or, as I have said, get another fishing buddy.
The last thing I would do is call her and say, "I'm not having an affair with your husband." I can't think of anything more embarrassing for everyone involved.
VERY embarrassing, and presumptuous.
The OP has no idea what his wife really thinks. She is surmising based on a couple of comments her friend has made. What is obvious is that regardless of how platonic it actually is, even she knows this is a lot of time to spend with a married man. If it makes the OP feel a tad guilty, which it apparently does, she needs to back off a bit.
THAT would be staying true to herself.
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