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What gives? Almost every year I get a wedding invitation from someone I barely consider a friend. So much so that years ago I decided that I would only attend weddings of people I had every intention of knowing until death.
So why me? I actually think it is because I am a presentable-looking, well-spoken white guy. I say white because non-whites are particularly keen on inviting me. Maybe I'm being tokened.
Don't take me for racist because many invites from whites are equally puzzling and I decline just the same. Maybe I'm a make-weight, a presentable guy to fill up numbers for those short on attendees?
Seems pretty lame though, like these couples should go to some web-site offering online wedding attendees instead.
Wow. You're being invited because you're a presentable, well-spoken white guy? As a presentable, well-spoken white guy myself, that's pretty offensive. Is it possible that you're being invited for the simple reason that the could actually would like you there. Not because you're white, but because you're part of their life in some way or another. If the wedding is in town, would it kill you to put on a tie and go for two hours?
And while we're at it, let's examine the "would only attend weddings of people I had every intention of knowing until death." You must be young, because you have no idea who will be part of your life ten, twenty, or fifty years from now. You will be very surprised who figures prominently in your life in the years to come. So it's really a good idea to be gracious and kind to everyone you know, and stop thinking of them in a transactional kind of way. It's really the only way to live for any number of reasons.
These are people who actually want you there to share their day.
The thought that anyone would formally invite you to their wedding so that you can be their token white guy is ludicrous!
Wow. You're being invited because you're a presentable, well-spoken white guy? As a presentable, well-spoken white guy myself, that's pretty offensive. Is it possible that you're being invited for the simple reason that the could actually would like you there. Not because you're white, but because you're part of their life in some way or another. If the wedding is in town, would it kill you to put on a tie and go for two hours?
And while we're at it, let's examine the "would only attend weddings of people I had every intention of knowing until death." You must be young, because you have no idea who will be part of your life ten, twenty, or fifty years from now. You will be very surprised who figures prominently in your life in the years to come. So it's really a good idea to be gracious and kind to everyone you know, and stop thinking of them in a transactional kind of way. It's really the only way to live for any number of reasons.
I think it is 'they' who are thinking of people in a "transactional" way, otherwise I wouldn't be getting random invites. I like my friendships organic, born from something shared in real, and not just on the job for instance.
I'm not young but could've phrased that better... I'll only go to weddings of those I plan to be in touch with indefinately, better?
Alas, I think my post was mostly venting and a curiousity that others have encountered the same thing.
I think it is 'they' who are thinking of people in a "transactional" way, otherwise I wouldn't be getting random invites. I like my friendships organic, born from something shared in real, and not just on the job for instance.
Have you announced this policy to your co-workers?
They likely have no idea about this standard of yours.
I mean, I am a very cynical person, but trust me: Your life will be a lot less enjoyable if you look at everything this way. Most people invite you so they will err on the side of including rather than excluding you. I guess you'd rather be excluded?
Have you announced this policy to your co-workers?
They likely have no idea about this standard of yours.
I mean, I am a very cynical person, but trust me: Your life will be a lot less enjoyable if you look at everything this way. Most people invite you so they will err on the side of including rather than excluding you. I guess you'd rather be excluded?
Yes I would rather be excluded. And I doubt my "standard" is at all uncommon. So is their nothing a co-worker of yours could invite you to that you would decline?
Err on the side of inclusion? hardly, I've had an acquaintance from a large network of pickup soccer players invite me to his wedding... JUST me, no one else from the entire network of 100 or so (I foolishly attended that wedding).
Err on the side of inclusion, that's funny. Maybe I'll err on the side of inclusion and invite David Beckham, Mila Kunis, and the top executive at my employer to my next barbeque.
Yes I would rather be excluded. And I doubt my "standard" is at all uncommon. So is their nothing a co-worker of yours could invite you to that you would decline?
Err on the side of inclusion? hardly, I've had an acquaintance from a large network of pickup soccer players invite me to his wedding... JUST me, no one else from the entire network of 100 or so (I foolishly attended that wedding).
Err on the side of inclusion, that's funny. Maybe I'll err on the side of inclusion and invite David Beckham, Mila Kunis, and the top executive at my employer to my next barbeque.
Wow, what a snob. I'm surprised you get invited to anything with that attitude.
I didn't say you couldn't decline. In fact, my first post said, "Decide if you want to go, and let them know."
The whole point of an invitation is that attending is YOUR CHOICE.
Do what you want, but don't blame the hosts for problems YOU project onto them.
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