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Some/many may say what's the big deal about cutting off a family member? So what if they're blood? It's no different than cutting off a friend for whatever reason you need to.
But for some reason I've always told myself that this particular family member is blood and I would never cut him off. He is my nephew but he's like a brother. We used to be close; lately he has not called daily anymore, which I'm glad. This man (36) is so very negative, meaning he says negative things to people. Mean things. He sent me a picture of a large woman and said she looked a lot like me. That's just one light example of the many things he does and says.
I just told him today how I feel hideous because i have coldsores (which he gets too) and said I feel so ugly that I shouldn't even show my face to my cat. I said "my cat can't even look at me." He said, "Neither can most people." -- implying (in my mind) that means even when I don't have cold sores.
He does this all in a "teasing" manner but in the same breath says "I'm just keepin' it real." So is he saying I'm fat and ugly and trying to be "real" or is he teasing? It hurts. And I'm fed up. He knows when he's crossed the line. I will ignore him for a few days and then he'll come back apologizing.
I am ready to say, like an intervention, if your behavior continues, I will not associate with you any longer. Ever. I'm done. Your behavior is NOT OK. And for my own self-respect, I will not tolerate it.
If he knows that it is wrong and apologizes, at least he recognizes that much. Still it might not be enough to break his habit if you tell him he has to permanently knock it off, but it is worth a try.
Yes.
If all attempts at getting him to change his behavior have failed, then for your own well being, do what you have to do. You may love him, but hate what he does, and you are not required to put up with it simply because he's related. If he truly loved you as a family member, he wouldn't be treating you that way in the first place. Your own peace and harmony comes first.
What's taken you so long? I don't care if it's family, friends, or strangers, if somebody crosses a line, they'll know about it immediately. Some people really don't know when they have been cruel until it's pointed out to them.
He does this all in a "teasing" manner but in the same breath says "I'm just keepin' it real." So is he saying I'm fat and ugly and trying to be "real" or is he teasing? It hurts. And I'm fed up. He knows when he's crossed the line. I will ignore him for a few days and then he'll come back apologizing.
I am ready to say, like an intervention, if your behavior continues, I will not associate with you any longer. Ever. I'm done. Your behavior is NOT OK. And for my own self-respect, I will not tolerate it.
Should I?
I remember from your previous posts that you're a passive person with a very high tolerance for BS.
Ignoring someone until they apologize is passive-aggressive. You should be able to say that comment hurt/offend you right off the spot, and that you don't appreciate it... Also off the spot. It's not only him that needs retraining in the (behavioral) response. So practice at being assertive and give him a chance to correct his behavior, tell him you can't continue to tolerate such comments. You knew those comment were definitely mean, so the next time he makes another mean comment, take the proper course of action. If he can't correct his behavior, then yea... Cut him loose.
He's 36 and acts like he's an immature 16 year old. I wouldn't be surprised if he's single. Sounds like he was never corrected or disciplined, that's why he's so rude and being that you're probably so close in age, he feels he can get away with it. He treats you like a buddy instead of respecting you as his uncle.
Either be straight forward with him and tell him how hurtful and outright disrespectful he is or just ignore him and say to him what convextech said: If he asks what's up, just say, "You're an assclown and I have no desire to listen to your voice. Just keepin it real." And emphasize the "keepin it real" part.
I remember from your previous posts that you're a passive person with a very high tolerance for BS.
Damn! Spot on!!
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