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Why would you even want to return to your former employer? Move on to where people will not remember you past problems.
That's what I think, too. Even if they take you back, they will always remember how you were in the past and it will be a constant cloud over your head. Every new person that gets hired will get "the story" about you from others.
You are a different person now, so why not invent yourself with a brand new job where nobody talks behind your back and you don't have to proof that you are not who you were a year ago?
New job + new people = fresh start, new opportunities
New life + old people + old job = may result in falling back into old habits (= drugs)
That's what I think, too. Even if they take you back, they will always remember how you were in the past and it will be a constant cloud over your head. Every new person that gets hired will get "the story" about you from others.
You are a different person now, so why not invent yourself with a brand new job where nobody talks behind your back and you don't have to proof that you are not who you were a year ago?
New job + new people = fresh start, new opportunities
New life + old people + old job = may result in falling back into old habits (= drugs)
Yep. And every time he misses work, no matter how legitimate the reason might be, there will always be the suspicion that he's up to his old tricks.
It's a big country. The best thing to do is move and reinvent oneself.
I know this is hard what you are going through. To you, a year seems a long time and it is. But to a company that is unsure you have really changed-it is risky to rehire you.
It is best to start over new at a new company. Also I have seen people "shoot themselves in the foot" figuratively by giving away too much. Do not share too much info with potential employers, no need to tell them what you have been through. Also got o place sand ask questions yourself don;t send a friend.
Many of us were taught by our parents how to do these things and conduct themselves but if you were not your at a disadvantage. I overheard a sad conversation a couple weeks back at a fast food joint that gives a good lesson.
A woman walked in and we headed to the counter at the same time. She was sweaty and had messy hair. She was peering toward the front of the place and yelling a man's name confusedly. I told her I had seen a man outside the front door and that he was maybe who she was looking for. She said yes that was probably him and he was angry. She reassured me that although he was angry he was not dangerous and just needed to stand outside.
She said out loud, loud enough for the people working there to hear, that she and her fiance had just been turned down for food stamps. I expressed sympathy and said she could order first.
She said she was not there to eat but to get an application. I preceded to order and while I did I could hear her asking another employee for the application for her fiance. She explained he had been in jail, etc. and went into detail, saying he had not been the mastermind but simply an accomplice.
I felt very bad for these two as they obviously had no idea how to conduct themselves in society or in public. She was asking for an application for her fiance, him not doing it himself, explaining his criminal record without being asked. It was sad. To the credit of the place they treated her and her fiance completely professionally and respectfully.
To your former company you may seem sort of like this woman, a person who is lost. You know you are not, you know you are on the right track. Good for you.
Go somewhere else and start over. Another good thing about that is there will be no past memories in the new place to drag you back. Best of luck.
Sometimes people leave you with such a bad taste that you just can't get past that. My brother is my only living relative and we haven't spoken since a brief conversation in 2001, and even then I couldn't wait to get away from him. Now out of the blue he called and left a message on my answering machine. The nice side of me is curious about what he wants, but this nightmare I had about him coming through the back door uninvited into my home scared the crap out of me and confirmed my fears about letting him into my life. I did not return his phone call. Whatever impression you leave people with are usually well deserved. Weather it's fair or not remains to be seen by those brave enough to extend a second chance.
Well, and you seem to have the self-awareness necessary to get through this. I've known several people who have dealt with similar issues and their future happiness really depended on really understanding their past behavior and restructuring how they dealt with stress and others. Best of luck to you on the road back.
That's what I think, too. Even if they take you back, they will always remember how you were in the past and it will be a constant cloud over your head. Every new person that gets hired will get "the story" about you from others.
You are a different person now, so why not invent yourself with a brand new job where nobody talks behind your back and you don't have to proof that you are not who you were a year ago?
New job + new people = fresh start, new opportunities
New life + old people + old job = may result in falling back into old habits (= drugs)
You guys make some valid points. Honestly, the only reason I went back there is because I am back up at my former university town to take some post BA classes, and being that its a small college town with limited job opportunities the office is right on campus so no commuting ( just a short walk for a couple blocks) and I could really use the extra money. I figured it might be the best place to start for at least I had built rapport.. albeit not in the best light.
After reading through all these insightful posts and reflecting, I realize it probably would not be the best course of action to return even in the event they were to take me back. I will carry on with the job search and hope to start fresh! Thanks everyone
Just hoping to get some opinions on this. I have a few skeletons in my closet (nothing major or horrible) but a former eating disorder and a prescription drug addiction that caused me to act capriciously and would go through mood swings when not on my medication or on days I didn't eat/binged/purged. Needless to say, I've gotten proper treatment and I've grown up and matured as a person as well and no longer suffer these problems. I'm a healthy weight, eat 3 meals a day (nutritiously as possible) and my work ethic has improved, and I'm no longer a smoker which I know turns a lot of people off. Needless to say I went back to my former employer (campus job) asking if they could use my help again (Its been a year). Although one of the HR assistants remained cordial and even told me how good I looked, I could tell that she did not look too pleased to see me and said they don't really need help as far as she knew but I could e-mail the main HR guy and inquire (she gave me his e-mail).
At any rate, I was always reliable and never called off but I clashed with one of the Graduate assistants who now happens to be in HR. I felt like she/they were judging me by my past when all of this took place OVER a year ago. So my question is, do you judge people by the past? If so, why do you do this? Do you believe people can change, for the better?
As others have said, the best predictor of future performance is past performance.
The hiring manager is not your mother, your spouse or your best friend. She owes you NOTHING. In fact, it's her job to trouble shoot and to avoid hiring people who may cause problems, friction, unnecessary drama, etc in her workplace. You're taking this personally and I doubt that the issue is personal at all. You're asking "Why judge people by their past?" when the question you should be asking is "Why should they hire me again?" It doesn't sound like the position is one that would be particularly difficult to fill so why should they hire someone with a problematic past? Honestly, they don't care (nor is there any moral obligation for them TO care) that you now are eating three meals a day and have kicked your drug addiction. All they know is that when you were working there, you had mood swings and carried a lot of personal drama with you into the work place. I've been a hiring manager for literally decades and that right there would be enough for me to disqualify someone for another position.
It's great that you've managed to conquer your inner demons and become a healthy person. Why would you even want to go back to that particular job with that baggage following you? Get another job somewhere else and continue rebuilding your life at a place where people don't remember who you used to be.
Hopefully you've learned at an early age that actions have consequences. This isn't a huge bridge you've burned (and YOU burned it, not your former coworkers so stop blaming them or questioning their motives or judgment). I mean, you lost your chance at a campus job - it's not like you wrecked a marriage, left a baby in a hot car, drove drunk and killed someone, or got fired from a professional position. Take this for what it is - a learning experience - and apply this lesson to the rest of your life. You're young and you're right - most people make some bad decisions when they're young (and often when they're older too!). The important thing is to learn from your mistakes.
Good luck.
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