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The first day of college orientation I sat on the grass eating lunch when a guy sat next to me. We began chatting, and found out that we had a class together. We became pretty good friends, often doing lunch and dinner together. After the first year of college we decided to become roommates. We were roommates for one semester, and until that point of my life, it was the best time of my life. After that semester, I pursed a full-time job and moved off campus. We stayed in touch until he found himself a girlfriend and moved in with her. He went MIA for about a year.
One night, lying in bed I get a text "leadingedgeo4? Is this still your number? Its Ben." Luckily, I still had that number. I was just days away from changing it, though! We met up for a few beers, reconnected, and it felt like we didn't miss a beat. He was single then, so I think he had the "freedom" to hangout with me again. As time went on, I felt like it was more of a convenience. "I need to go to this town to pick up this, do you want to meet there for lunch?" I felt squeezed into his schedule. I went along with it, as I didn't have too many other friends at that time. Months went by and he met another lady. He, again went MIA.. this time for several months. Again, he popped up and wanted to hang. Sure! I was excited to hang with him, again. This time we did Geo-caching and brewery tours. It was great. Few months later.. he, again, finds another lady-friend. I was dating someone at the time as well, so we did a few double-dates, and right around Christmas he drops off radar, again. The woman he was dating went to the college we first met at. I'd seen her "around". This time he left for good.
I've tried to reconnect with him. He doesn't do the Social Media thing. The last woman is now his wife. I found out, ironically, that they got married just miles from where I grew up. I'm now 2,000 miles away in a different state, and have changed my number several times. If he tried to reach out to me, he couldn't. I have reached out to the wife via Facebook months ago "send Ben my regards" and "I'll be back in town next month if he wants to meet up", and have even given her my number to give to him. She was friendly towards me, and responded stating that they are doing well etc. I have never heard back from him, though. I wonder if she did give him my number. I have often heard of people getting into relationships and dedicating 100% of the time with the significant other, putting friendships aside. I am thinking that might be the case with him.
Last edited by leadingedge04; 02-23-2016 at 04:02 AM..
Sometimes, I think when we try to reconnect with an old friend, what we are really wanting is to reminisce, to step inside a time machine for an hour and go back to how things were. I've seen this happen with friends who go back to visit a place they lived in 50 years ago, and they return, in tears, because it's so run down or built up. It's not the place they knew. It's changed, as much as they have.
I have looked up old friends on social media, looked at their pictures, their kids, sat down and written a few paragraphs to them.. then before hitting 'send' - just thought ahead to a potential conversation... "hi, wow how old are your kids? I can't picture you as a parent... remember that awful history teacher we had? what does your husband do for a living?" sheeesh. Hit delete, then phoned my son to ask him how his new job is.
So I say, we can enjoy our memories as much as we want - and we are so very lucky to have them.
All of my Facebook friends are people from the present. No one from the past. If I still wanted them as friends they wouldn't be in the past.
^^ This
I left home at 17 and joined the navy, in the years since then I have moved many many times. People come and go the ones I keep in touch with are the ones that matter to me.
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