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I would not say it our generation, it is kind of hard building relationships, meaning it takes work. I would say starting from scratch from an older age is even more difficult.
I completely disagree with you, unless by older you mean 30's.
When kids are gone, and you no longer work, friends seem to be much easier to find.
I completely disagree with you, unless by older you mean 30's.
When kids are gone, and you no longer work, friends seem to be much easier to find.
People tend to be set in their own ways after a certain age, you have families and sometimes you don't have time to spend with friends you knew for years, let alone make new ones.
Younger people have better opportunities to make friends, GENERALLY. When kids are gone sure, but even then you are more likely spend with people who knew rather than MAKING NEW friends.
I've been noticing this myself, although for me, I'm not a millennial. I've started a thread about this here.... Getting more serious friends?
I have plenty of people I see at meetups and otherwise from past office jobs. However, I would like friends I can talk more serious topics on such as relationships, mortgages, career, etc. Meeting them only through social calls isn't nearly enough for that. I will need to consider taking the step of "cold calling/emailing" some of them I haven't spoken to in a year or 2 (and no, facebook doesn't count), go out to eat food with them at a restaurant, just so I can catch up with some of them. For some of them, they have kids and will be very difficult.
I'd be interested in dating some of the women at these social calls, but some of them are already married/dating, but otherwise, it's always difficult for me to work up the nerve to ask someone out.
You've hit the nail on the head on many things that I also don't like or find frustrating about people my age (I'm 28 btw). Texting might be the one thing I'm alright with. But I don't like the reality TV shows; the ultra-tight, crotch-riding clothes; and the overall lackadaisical attitudes towards genuine, meaningful things.
I often wonder if the upbringing in a culture of reclusive online social media has forged an aversion to actual face-to-face interactions.
I think that's definitely affected relationships. Why go outside and do things when you can sit online and chat with everybody all day and form silly events that people "go" on their computers but not in real life. Anyway I see things kind of like you do. I noticed you're in Denver. That's where I live right now.
American men have never forged close friendships outside of these groups:
Guys they grew up with, guys in their school fraternity, guys at work.
Sometimes they meet close friends in the service but just as often those are guys they hope to never see again.
However your mention of dating sites makes me wonder what you are asking about. Friendships or dating relationships?
^^ this sounds pretty accurate to me.
Same for girls, they stick with their hometown/high school friends, sorority friends and girls they work with.
Its hard to squeeze into those groups.
OP, you might find this article thought-provoking... it discusses reasons that it is challenging to make new friends as adults, once you are out of college....
OP, you might find this article thought-provoking... it discusses reasons that it is challenging to make new friends as adults, once you are out of college....
Thanks for sharing. I agree with the article in that repeated interactions help establish meaningful bonds/relationships. My frustration stems from the fact that I have come across a lot of flakes who find ways to avoid hanging out after the initial contact has been made. We will seemingly have a great time hanging out at a group meetup and then we'll never see each other again, because when I try to set up another one-on-one or small group meeting, they blow it off or cancel at the last minute.
Whether it's their own insecurities/social ineptitude or perhaps something I have possibly done to rub them the wrong way (and of course, they never tell me if this is the case, so I can't learn from my mistakes); finding ways to maintain that contact has been the utmost challenging task to date for me with regards to making friends in my new locale.
Thanks for sharing. I agree with the article in that repeated interactions help establish meaningful bonds/relationships. My frustration stems from the fact that I have come across a lot of flakes who find ways to avoid hanging out after the initial contact has been made. We will seemingly have a great time hanging out at a group meetup and then we'll never see each other again, because when I try to set up another one-on-one or small group meeting, they blow it off or cancel at the last minute.
Whether it's their own insecurities/social ineptitude or perhaps something I have possibly done to rub them the wrong way (and of course, they never tell me if this is the case, so I can't learn from my mistakes); finding ways to maintain that contact has been the utmost challenging task to date for me with regards to making friends in my new locale.
At the risk of sounding rude (which I don't mean to.. ) It sounds like you're overthinking things and stressing too much.
Just relax, hang out, share more personal things about yourself and I think the friends will come and stay.
You may or may not be coming across as a little uptight - people pick up on these things right away.
At the risk of sounding rude (which I don't mean to.. ) It sounds like you're overthinking things and stressing too much. Just relax, hang out, share more personal things about yourself and I think the friends will come and stay.
You may or may not be coming across as a little uptight - people pick up on these things right away.
I'm 24 btw.
What I have bolded from your quote, these are the things I do.
I don't know about the up-tight theory. I mean, it's completely possible and I'm open to self-criticism if it helps. But we're having what seems to be a great time when we're hanging out at the group meetup. We spend the one or two hours we're there talking with one another and everything seems to go well. I really don't believe I'm coming across that way. We joke, we laugh, we talk about our lives, etc. Additionally, I don't think they people would spend that much time with me at the event if they felt that I was uptight or awkward. Also, the close friends that I do have would let me know if I'm uptight (and they probably wouldn't hang out with me either).
What I have bolded from your quote, these are the things I do.
I don't know about the up-tight theory. I mean, it's completely possible and I'm open to self-criticism if it helps. But we're having what seems to be a great time when we're hanging out at the group meetup. We spend the one or two hours we're there talking with one another and everything seems to go well. I really don't believe I'm coming across that way. We joke, we laugh, we talk about our lives, etc. Additionally, I don't think they people would spend that much time with me at the event if they felt that I was uptight or awkward. Also, the close friends that I do have would let me know if I'm uptight (and they probably wouldn't hang out with me either).
very true.
then I'm not really sure. I know people tend to get wrapped up in their jobs and don't really put an extra effort into maintaining new friendships.. so unfortunately that does make it harder on us in this "day and age", ha
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