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A buddy of mine's dad made a comment today that kind of striked a chord but I felt he was kind of judging me when he asked "are you working"? "You need a job,man" to which I told him I've sent out several resumes as well as grad schools(gathering all required materials which is quite a process) so I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing yet.
Sorry, but I hope English wasn't one of your majors.
In this day and age it still seems like women can get away with being unemployed (often by choice of laziness) or working very part-time DESPITE not having children or being married. I say this because I JUST graduated from college (double major) and was taking accelerated summer classes that I was striving(and made) straight A's to open more prospects for graduate school and bolster my GPA. A buddy of mine's dad made a comment today that kind of striked a chord but I felt he was kind of judging me when he asked "are you working"? "You need a job,man" to which I told him I've sent out several resumes as well as grad schools(gathering all required materials which is quite a process) so I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing yet. Meanwhile, my sister (in her early 20's, no kids either and was not taking summer courses or have a job besides the occasional babysitting gig did not and does not ever seem to get the same comments or criticism despite pretty much living off her boyfriend (who she doesn't even live with), and my working class mom.
So, from a sociological perspective if you will,despite the modern era of "equality" and women's rights,do you believe the gender stereotypes still hold true that a woman will still be judged less harshly if she doesn't really work and "lives off people" and generally lives a leisurely life on other peoples dim-be it parents, significant other,etc. Even with no kids? What are your thoughts?
PS. I'm not insulting women or trying to cause a dispute as I know there are MANY hard working women juggling multiple jobs,school, raising kids,etc.Im just interested from a sociological perspective as gender roles has always been an area of interest to me.
I HAVE a job. Mine just occurs within the home.
The job description includes pretty much anything and everything. There are no set vacations or off-hours. Fortunately, I get along with the boss pretty well.
You sound bitter. And there's a lot more to do than wash dishes. Running a house is a full time job...with or without children. Plus, we are not paid for it.
I was a stay at home mom, I know exactly what it entails. And taking care of kids is so far beyond "running a house" as to be laughable. Running a house is not a full time job unless you are bad at it.
Why the hostile attitude? Like I said, I stay at home and I do not have children. For some reason women who lead a quality life outside of career and children incite a lot of hatred and jealously and judgement in people.
When we both worked full time, and I had to run a business, we were both stressed all the time and had to hire outside help and a housekeeper because there are not enough hours in the day to get things done.
We would define quality life very differently I suspect. If you are not contributing to society I wouldn't define it as quality. That doesn't mean you aren't free to do whatever you want with your time, of course you are. But that doesn't make what you choose to do if equal value to society as people who work outside the home, or parents who devote their time to raising children.
We would define quality life very differently I suspect. If you are not contributing to society I wouldn't define it as quality. That doesn't mean you aren't free to do whatever you want with your time, of course you are. But that doesn't make what you choose to do if equal value to society as people who work outside the home, or parents who devote their time to raising children.
Sheesh, bitter much?
Why do people get so bent out of shape on this topic?? Even if she stays home to get pedicures and eat bon-bons all day because that's what makes both her and her husband happy, why is it any skin off your back? (Not saying that's what you do Bmachina ) As long as it's an equal partnership between two people where both are happy with the arrangement, who has the right to judge?!
Of course I have the right to judge. Judgment in and of itself is not a negative thing, it is rushing to judgement or judging based on lack of information that is a bad idea. But judgment itself is what allowed us to even exist as a species for millions years.
I reserve the right to completely differentiate between people who contribute to society, by working, going to school (thanks for bring that one up) volunteering, raising children etc. and those who do nothing besides housework and "run a house". I judge them to be contributing less to mankind, and certainly not remotely to be lumped in with stay at home parents who typically "run the house" and raise children at the same time. It is a disservice to the stay at home parents.
You are of course welcome to judge these type of people (and I couldn't care less if they are male or female) however you see fit.
I do not have a job or children, and I am not "living off someone." I am not "getting away with something."
My job is spoiling my husband and making sure he is happy, and in return, he does the same for me. When he comes home from work, everything is done and has no added stress or screaming children to deal with.
Like most females, post 1960's I was raised being taught that I must attend college (which I did), work full time, and have children.
Fortunately I was smart enough to see how miserable many women and families became during this post-feminism era. The breakdown of the US family, latch key children, overworked and over stressed moms trying to juggle a career, kids, the debt-trap, and marriage...sorry, but there are not enough hours in the day. Everyone I know who got themselves into this mess complains about how tired and stressed they are all the time.
I call it misery and slavery.
It is wonderful that it works for you . Thankfully everyone you know is not everyone in the world. There are plenty of smart women who are able to 'spoil' their husbands with a giant paycheck (covers daycare, cooks, maids, drycleaning and leaves plenty for fun and savings) and get spoiled by him in return. Of course its not their life's goal just to spoil one another.
There's less pressure on women, especially from old-fashioned parents, but this is to women's detriment. If everyone had the same expectations of women as they do of men, career-wise, more women would be working on building their resumes and at earlier ages than is the case now. Letting women "get away with" slacking doesn't do them any favors. But many parents do instill their daughters with the idea that nobody's going to give them a free ride, so they'd better prepare well to take care of themselves.
We would define quality life very differently I suspect. If you are not contributing to society I wouldn't define it as quality. That doesn't mean you aren't free to do whatever you want with your time, of course you are. But that doesn't make what you choose to do if equal value to society as people who work outside the home, or parents who devote their time to raising children.
Tell that to the millions of unpaid volunteers out there.
My first job was a paper round at 14, since then I have served in the military, run my own business, worked in management in retail and in the medical reception/records/billing/coding fields.
I have 5 children who are now grown and have lives and families of their own.
Now at 51 I choose not to work, through wise financial choices I retired at 50 and it will stay that way. I have plenty to keep me busy during the day. Like Bmachina I keep house, make sure my husbands needs are taken care of and that he has no extra stress and we have a happy life.
Not many people are critical of my life, those who are show classic signs of jealousy, after all who wouldn't want a life where they can do what they want, when they want and how they want without the constraints of work ?
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Running a house is a full time job...with or without children. Plus, we are not paid for it.
