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Old 09-15-2014, 02:05 PM
 
3,239 posts, read 4,436,227 times
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Well put yourself in her shoes: If it was your friend that lost her husband and it's been three years, she decides to isolate, you are worried, you are losing a friend that is leaving church, you may act a bit inappropriately yourself in your concern.

She is obviously very worried about you and must have been a good friend. You shared some values and now that is changing. People that are not in church don't understand the depth of this bond and the pain the loss of a friendship it can produce. Obviously you don't want to cavalierly lose her either or you would have already and not bothered posting about it. Was she there for you while you lost your spouse? As you move on say a prayer for her.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope you work things out to your satisfaction, go in peace.
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Old 09-15-2014, 02:22 PM
 
8,076 posts, read 13,388,432 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayekaye View Post
Well put yourself in her shoes: If it was your friend that lost her husband and it's been three years, she decides to isolate, you are worried, you are losing a friend that is leaving church, you may act a bit inappropriately yourself in your concern.
I am wondering what I said that makes you think I want to "isolate"

My life is fairly full of family, friends, activities & projects..
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Old 09-15-2014, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
55,300 posts, read 53,974,614 times
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I think a decision to go to church is personal and between you and your God. She may feel it's her duty to nag you, but that's her own problem.

Set your boundaries, and best wishes to you on life's journey.
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Old 09-15-2014, 02:40 PM
 
8,076 posts, read 13,388,432 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I think a decision to go to church is personal and between you and your God. She may feel it's her duty to nag you, but that's her own problem.

Set your boundaries, and best wishes to you on life's journey.
Thanks !!!
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Old 09-15-2014, 02:46 PM
 
7,496 posts, read 9,690,022 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
I have a friend that has nagged me to death about a particular issue..
The issue doesn't matter...
She gets on a roll about it and won't stop even when I say "please stop !!!"

I finally told her that I can't be around that anymore, that she has to stop judging &
harping on this issue..She said she can't.

So I told her I can't be around her then, because it is disrespectful for her to ignore
my asking her to stop..She can't see that it is controlling and says I am being controlling by placing
limitations on the conversation..

How do I explain that its a healthy boundary to not allow myself to be badgered.
People like this are better off in very small doses.
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Old 09-15-2014, 02:47 PM
 
2,755 posts, read 1,993,878 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I think a decision to go to church is personal and between you and your God. She may feel it's her duty to nag you, but that's her own problem.

Set your boundaries, and best wishes to you on life's journey.
^^^^^ This.

I agree.
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Old 09-15-2014, 03:10 PM
 
16,988 posts, read 20,544,936 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauriedeee View Post
wow.. speaking of arrogance. I suggest you re-read your own response.

Telling a person to back off and give them some room to make their own decisions is not harassing. It's her friend that's badgering her constantly that's doing the harrassing.
The OP is grieving the loss of her husband. People grieve in their own way and in their own time. When and IF the OP feels ready to return to church, or not is her decision to make. Badgering her and ramming it down her throat is doing more harm than good.

If she refuses to stop OP, you have to walk away from her. It's not a healthy relationship for either of you and it's only getting in the way of your grieving process.

My condolences on the loss of your husband.

Exactly, no one has the right to tell anyone how to grieve, and certainly ramming down religion, or telling someone to start dating again, or get a job, whatever it is, is no one's business. If this woman can't get that through her head "give her the gate".

Quote:
Originally Posted by MisfitBanana View Post
I'm thinking Zeurch is her friend in disguise.

OP - ignore your friend, and ignore Zeurch. You get to make your own spiritual choices. Frankly, it's not very spiritual if the only reason you end up going to church is because you were badgered into it by someone who has less concern for you, and more concern for forcing others to do as they themselves believe. Do what's best for yourself.
This may explain why Zeurch has their own thread about a friend who seems to be cutting ties with them.
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Old 09-15-2014, 07:06 PM
 
3,239 posts, read 4,436,227 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
I am wondering what I said that makes you think I want to "isolate"

My life is fairly full of family, friends, activities & projects..
from your friend and the church
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Old 09-15-2014, 07:20 PM
 
8,076 posts, read 13,388,432 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayekaye View Post
from your friend and the church
Her church isn't a church I want to attend, I visited some and it isn't for me ..
Only isolating from my friend because she has driven me away...
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Old 09-15-2014, 08:41 PM
 
6,758 posts, read 8,249,306 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Osito View Post
People like this are better off in very small doses.
Yes.

I am sorry, OP. I know it is hard to lose a friend.

And in a way, she has been a good friend. She clearly cares about you. But her attachment to you doing things her way is stronger than her support for your own wisdom to choose your own path to god, and your own pace. And, in my book, that is not cool.
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