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Wow, I've never seen any of that. I have five single men friends two of which have never been married. All of the women in their lives go out of their way to make them feel welcome. I always send them home with an extra meal when they come for a visit. They are part of the family whether it's by blood or out of love. I think one of them wants to be married again but the one he met after his divorce married another person. He's a very sensitive person and I think the pain of losing again is too much for him. That one needs lots of hugs and kind words. Nobody I know would be unkind to any of them.
I don't know where you get these crazy ideas. This is all in your head. Most people pay no attention to their co-workers' personal lives, and whether or not they're married, dating, or whatever. It's not relevant to the workplace. Do you live in a more traditional area, where marriage is expected of people past their 20's? If so, single women in your area are also getting discriminated against, harbor no illusions about that. If you don't like it, move to a more liberal area where nobody cares about others' private lives, and they mind their own business.
I don't know where people get this stuff, either.
Years ago, single men--"confirmed bachelors"--were just assumed to be gay. Now? It's rare. The only instances I can think of are what Ruth has said, above, with people in "traditional" areas, or the military or running for public office. (Hey, the public needs to see a nice, wholesome-looking family to alleviate the cognitive dissonance that comes with knowing that no matter who you vote for, he or she is corrupt. )
As an older, single/never-married male... I have no idea what is going on in the original poster's head.
The only slight discrimination-- I might be asked for extra duty at work because others want to spend holidays with their kids or others are home to take care of sick kids.
" quiet single men who try to lead a clean and morally pure life"
You have a major chip on your shoulder...I think it's sour grapes on your part that you try to say is a decision to lead a morally pure life. Either that or you're tired of your decision because not only are you horny but your career is going the way you want either.
Get a girlfriend and explore that side of your life - your career will go where it will. Other than not being able to talk about your kids, it should have little impact at work.
Single men are being harshly discriminated by society not just in social situation but also in work environment, especially when they are at an age which they "should have been" married with children. If still not, then they will most likely be perceived almost automatically as "not interested in the opposite sex", "having issues with women", "having problem with commitment", "antisocial", somehow mysteriously dangerous to people, perhaps "having mental issues" or worse, God forbid, having some really sinister fetish. In short, a terrible social outcast in the eyes of the married majority.
Tragic enough, single men with a promiscuous life style, a womanizer in other words, would be letting off the hook much easier. People would simply think that "he doesn't want to settle down yet and just want to have some more fun with girls". Unfortunately, it is the quiet single men who try to lead a clean and morally pure life that seem to get all the abuses, for people would misjudge them and think that "he is not acting normal", "he must be hiding something", " something must be seriously wrong with him", or "he must be one of those XXX (whatever the worst kind of offenders one can think of)", etc.
In a work environment, thing is just as worse for single men. They are more often not being taken seriously, as they are perceived by their married colleagues and supervisors unjustly as being "immature", "not yet a man", "having problem with commitment", "unable to handle big responsibility", "still sitting on the fence", etc. Male colleagues would think of them as homosexuals (mind you, I'm not homophobic), while female colleagues would think of them as some kind of devious creeps who are probably having some twisted fantasies of them.
Such is the poor reality for many single men out there. It is incredibly difficult to be a single man these day without being brutally discriminated, worse still for a middle-age single man. There are so much prejudices and injustice toward this particular group of people. However, I've notice that things are much different for single women. I'm not suggesting that they too should receive the same abuses as that endured by single men. I find that society in general is being grossly unfair toward the male sex when it comes to marry status.
I also find that today society is far moreclosed mind and oppressive. Herd mentality has sadly overtaken the brilliance of individual mind that allows the society to flourish in the first place. Individuality is constantly being suppressed and punished as if people were afraid of it. People are exceedingly terrified of being criticized publicly for having their own thoughts and opinions, so much so that they would deliberately prefer to self-censor themselves rather than expressing truthfully. This is especially true in a small city where people are living in clusters and cross-influencing each other dramatically.
Anyway, back to the problem of being a single man. Why are they being discriminated so unjustly? Why the abuses? I just don't get it.
You're not a native speaker of English, are you? (See bolded) Maybe it's some kind of cultural differences at work that are the problem, not your single status?
Because I'm a single male, and I don't see any of these issues. "Brutally discriminated [against]"? Like, how? Can you give some examples? I'm not yet at an age when I'd be seen as having missed the boat on marriage (you almost make me afraid to get there!), but y'know what? I'm not worried. It sounds like you have some very conservative superiors at work. That's unusual these days. That kind of discrimination is illegal, anyway, if it harms your job/advancement prospects in some way.
Also, this riff on conformism and people being afraid to speak their mind is off-the-wall. Some people these days seem TOO willing to spew their poorly-formed opinions and stir controversy. See political talk radio.
IDK, man, it sounds like you either have a loose relationship with reality, or maybe you're running into problems due to cultural differences, or something else. In other words, it's not them, it's you. Think about talking to a counselor about it all to get a perspective on the true nature of the problem. Getting a professional opinion from a neutral party can be helpful. Good luck.
Any mother of a son around 30 years old can tell you this started in the 1980s at least - if not sooner.
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