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Someone that has never done it before, weighs over 300 pounds, and has no job is going to find a stranger to trust them with their house- for free?
Ya, ok.
This will hard to near impossible for her to do. When I look for a house or pet sitter, it has to be someone I know very well, OR they need to have a lot of experience and good references. The only chance she would have of starting this is if she knew a lot of people that were willing to use her then give a good reference. But it sounds like she never leaves the house, so I doubt that will work.
Your best bet is to try to get her into some residential program where they can help her with her medical and mental health issues. I know how you feel wanting to help, but you are not a professional. I felt this way in dealing with my alcoholic relative. I am not an substance abuse counselor or a psychologist and I have no experience running a treatment center in my home. It got to the point where I realized what I was doing was not helping and maybe even enabling it to continue. Because she is unemployed, she can probably qualify for a lot of assistance through the state to help with paying for counselors, doctors and treatment. She might even be able to get it all for free.
Thats just ignorant. I have several friends who do this, and they have had no problem finding jobs. In fact they are booked for extended times. People go on vacation all the time, people have to leave for extended periods of time. Lots of people have pets they dont want to travel with. People just want someone to stay in their house and take care of things. You arent going to get rich doing it, but its better than nothing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn
HEY! Obese people are not criminals!!! The skinny drug users may be!
That's who you have to watch out for, the tweekers!
(I just noticed it's you again, dysgenic.)
No, they are not. But human nature being what it is coupled with a horrendous job market makes for a very slim chance of gainful employment for OPs sister.
I'd suggest the OP bring his sister to one of his many entertaining family holiday get togethers. When other family members are ignoring him or too busy on their cell phones, he and his wife can surreptitiously leave without the sister.
Seriously. The OP has exhausted his immediate imagination for dramatic details to add. He'll be back if he can find something even more sensational to add to the situation....
I'd suggest the OP bring his sister to one of his many entertaining family holiday get togethers. When other family members are ignoring him or too busy on their cell phones, he and his wife can surreptitiously leave without the sister.
Seriously. The OP has exhausted his immediate imagination for dramatic details to add. He'll be back if he can find something even more sensational to add to the situation....
One of my sisters is an long term unemployed and she has been moving from one relative to anther while she waits out the recession. After Mom and Dad kicked her out of their home for freeloading and not seriously looking for work, she showed up unannounced at our door step looking for a temporary place to live. What could we do but let her come inside and live with us for awhile.
"Awhile" has been a few months and my wife wants my sister gone. But where can we send her? She has already overstayed her welcome at my parents home and my other family members don't want her.
Anyway, how could we actually evict her legally? Can we hire someone to physically move her out and get a court order for her to never return to our home? My wife says maybe we can put her up in an extended stay hotel for a month but after a month she will show up at our door step again. Any advice?
I have taken two friends in before. One was shortly after 9/11. He lost his job and had nowhere to go, so I let him crash in my living room with the intentions of him finding a job soon. He was only applying for management jobs and Law Enforcement ones. THat was it. He was receiving govt assistance and promised to help out with groceries. He bought a loaf of bread and some ramen noodles and a jar of peanut butter for his contribution to the groceries...I kid you not. After 2 months I had a talk with him about his job search and when I was recalled to active duty, I let him know he had a week to get out. I was leaving and not paying rent for him. He handled it like a pro. We stayed friends.
The other situation was a lady at church. Life of poverty so we offered her a stable place while she got on her feet. She was supposed to look for work, and clean the house. She never cleaned and filled out one application in 6 months. Though she did have a journal with a bunch of numbers to possible places of hiring. It was rough. She sold her foodstamps for cash and let her friends take advantage of her. We let her stay until her son finished the school year (13 different schools and he was only in 6th grade).
We still talk to her, though she did tell people that we just kicked her out...that was upsetting, b/c we were very patient with her, but a lifetime of living a certain way can't be reversed in 6 months.
I work in a call center and have over 10 years of management experience in a call center. We would not hire a 46yr old 300 pounder at any price, even if they had a ton of relevant experience....that's the truth.
Maybe 15 years ago this would have worked, but not today.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dysgenic
I highly doubt she has no desire to work. Would you rather have a job and support yourself, or would you rather live one step away from homelessness with a relative that may kick you out at any time?
As I said before, where I live NO ONE is going to hire a 46 yr old that weighs in excess of 300 pounds for a full time job. It's not happening, not even if the person was super qualified! Someone that has been unemployed for so long in that situation isn't going to be able to get a full time job, no matter how hard they try.
Where do you live where only thin people have jobs?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laid Off
UPDATE:
Every time my sister leaves her room my wife or I ask her when she is leaving. She looks away and starts crying and rushes back to her room. I suspect we are not going to get her to leave unless someone gets physical with her. She has not left the house for the entire time she has been with us so we can't move her things out physically. I talked to all family members and not one of them has agreed to put her up again or give any money for her to be bribed to leave. We are thinking of giving her $1000 in a VISA Gift Card to leave. Will that work?
My bs meter is going off. You keep adding relevant details piece by piece.
I'll play along.
The gift card is a bad idea. At this point you will have to legally evict her. Seems pretty obvious to me.
Have you checked out the tenant laws in your state?
Actually most everyone is MORE hung up on weight than I am; that's the point.
Would you hire a 46 yr old person that weighs more than 300 pounds and has been out of work for several years? Please answer responsively.
As I have pointed out to you before, it all depends on the job. Women return to the job market all the time, and manage to find work. A lot of them are in their 40s and overweight, but they still manage. Some of them have a felony conviction on their record, but they still manage. It is not productive to just dismiss someone as useless.
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