My friend who is turning 40 has invited to a "all white attire party" and I don't think I can attend (narcissistic, friendship)
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The problem I am facing is that I only have a white shirt not the pants and shoes which I believe is expected for this type of party. On top of that he prefers everyone who he invited to the party to bring him MONEY as a gift. So it's no way I can go out and purchase shoes and pants and give him money for a gift when I still have to deal with my own financial situations. I still have to buy some summer clothes and finish paying off my credit card, go on dates, and save money.
So I am not sure how he will take me telling him I won't be able to make it but I just can't and was not expecting to be invited to a party where I have to buy clothes to attend and bring a gift. And let's say I do find whites shoes and pants to go with my shirt, that would be a outfit I would not be able to wear the rest of the summer which would not be wise spending. Anything I buy to wear in June I want to be able to wear in July and August too so it looks like I will have to miss his party which may end our friendship.
How do you know he's expecting a cash gift? Did he say that in his invitation? Because that's tacky, if he did.
And the fact that I am on a budget it's no way I can buy an outfit and a gift at the same time. Especially after just spending over $100 on my mom for her birthday last week.
If you lose his friendship because you can't afford to shower him with cash, then he wasn't a real friend.
But it sounds like a fun party, and maybe you'll meet a lady, right? So it would be cool if you could go. It would be cheap enough to come up with white pants and white shoes. I'm sure there's some place in Philly you could get a cheap outfit, even if you have to go to The Second Mile (that's a little west of 40th, though), and Payless Shoes.
I'm assuming he's having his party in some nice place? What if you gave, like, $20? I've hosted a 40th birthday party for a friend, and nobody gave anything more than a $10 bottle of wine. And it was fine. If you give $20, it's like the cover charge into a good club. If he's expecting more than that, maybe he's expecting a little too much.
"Cash preferred" in the invite. That's tacky, man. But let's face it: if it sounds like a party you want to be at, maybe you can meet him halfway.
I think you should try to find a way to go, FBJ. But keep it on the cheap. What's the worst that can happen? If he thinks your gift wasn't enough, then he's not a friend worth keeping.
If you lose his friendship because you can't afford to shower him with cash, then he wasn't a real friend.
But it sounds like a fun party, and maybe you'll meet a lady, right? So it would be cool if you could go. It would be cheap enough to come up with white pants and white shoes. I'm sure there's some place in Philly you could get a cheap outfit, even if you have to go to The Second Mile (that's a little west of 40th, though), and Payless Shoes.
I'm assuming he's having his party in some nice place? What if you gave, like, $20? I've hosted a 40th birthday party for a friend, and nobody gave anything more than a $10 bottle of wine. And it was fine. If you give $20, it's like the cover charge into a good club. If he's expecting more than that, maybe he's expecting a little too much.
"Cash preferred" in the invite. That's tacky, man. But let's face it: if it sounds like a party you want to be at, maybe you can meet him halfway.
I think you should try to find a way to go, FBJ. But keep it on the cheap. What's the worst that can happen? If he thinks your gift wasn't enough, then he's not a friend worth keeping.
Well my clothes shopping options are limited because I am a big and tall man so if 20th and Oregon doesn't have it then I would have anything to wear. And the party is going to be at 51st and Lancaster.
Because inside the Invite under preferred gift it says he prefers cash.
This is no friend, drop him like a hot pancake.
That is some narcissistic stuff there, RUN AS FAR AWAY FROM HIM AS YOU CAN!!!
AND NEVER, EVER, pay for him
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