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Ebay, man, Ebay. Get there and shop. You can find any size/color of nearly anything you need. Most of the time very cheaply if you're good with bid timing.
If I'm on a budget for gift, I don't do cash or gift cards. I get an actual gift. As far as clothing. Just wear a white shirt. I would not waste money on pants you would never wear again. They aren't going to kick you out. If it's questioned just say I don't own white pants nor would I ever. In fact just bring him his favorite bottle of something. Wine, booze, beer. Asking for cash is tacky. That alone would make me NOT give cash. Especially for a birthday.
The problem I am facing is that I only have a white shirt not the pants and shoes which I believe is expected for this type of party. On top of that he prefers everyone who he invited to the party to bring him MONEY as a gift. So it's no way I can go out and purchase shoes and pants and give him money for a gift when I still have to deal with my own financial situations. I still have to buy some summer clothes and finish paying off my credit card, go on dates, and save money.
So I am not sure how he will take me telling him I won't be able to make it but I just can't and was not expecting to be invited to a party where I have to buy clothes to attend and bring a gift. And let's say I do find whites shoes and pants to go with my shirt, that would be a outfit I would not be able to wear the rest of the summer which would not be wise spending. Anything I buy to wear in June I want to be able to wear in July and August too so it looks like I will have to miss his party which may end our friendship.
I say don't go. Do NOT go out and buy special clothes to go to someone's birthday party. That was inconsiderate of him to require people to wear something that many people won't have. Buying those things would be a total waste of money, and it sounds like you can't afford to waste money.
You can apologize. But just tell him you can't make it. If you mention the clothing and money thing, he'll just tell you that doesn't matter, blah blah blah. So if you're okay with that.....but you might want to make up a GOOD reason you can't go, besides the expense. If you don't have to RSVP, just not long before the party, call him and tell him you're sick. He can't argue with that.
Normally I wouldn't advise lying. What a tangled web we weave.... But in this case, I can guess how he'll react if you tell him the money thing, so it might be best to avoid that conversation. It also would embarrass both of you. Maybe an ear infection...I had one recently that caused me to cancel something. I had this stabbing pain in my ear, and I was also really dizzy and somewhat nauseous. I couldn't go anywhere. It lasted about 2 weeks, too.
I'm going to third the suggestion to wear your white shirt with khakis or other light-colored pants and whatever shoes you have; take along whatever amount of cash you would have spent on a gift.
If you're turned away at the door for a dress-code violation, take the cash and go have a drink or see a movie or whatever sounds fun along with the five other people similarly turned away.
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