My friend who is turning 40 has invited to a "all white attire party" and I don't think I can attend (person, narcissistic)
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The problem I am facing is that I only have a white shirt not the pants and shoes which I believe is expected for this type of party. On top of that he prefers everyone who he invited to the party to bring him MONEY as a gift. So it's no way I can go out and purchase shoes and pants and give him money for a gift when I still have to deal with my own financial situations. I still have to buy some summer clothes and finish paying off my credit card, go on dates, and save money.
So I am not sure how he will take me telling him I won't be able to make it but I just can't and was not expecting to be invited to a party where I have to buy clothes to attend and bring a gift. And let's say I do find whites shoes and pants to go with my shirt, that would be a outfit I would not be able to wear the rest of the summer which would not be wise spending. Anything I buy to wear in June I want to be able to wear in July and August too so it looks like I will have to miss his party which may end our friendship.
Send your regrets that you can't go.....don't get all wacked out about a party. Either go or don't...easy.
In my opinion, it seems you're not really invested in going to this party, anyway, as you cite there are some financial issues and you wrote that you neither drink nor dance, (though if you were to attend, you could drink nonalcoholic beverages and sit and people watch), so simply decline the invitation. It's voluntary, not mandatory, and I don't think your absence should affect the friendship. If it does, and he cuts you off, then he's done you a huge favor. Good luck.
Wear the white shirt and whatever light colored pants you have to go with and if he doesn't like it, leave the party. Or get a big white sheet and dress like a sheikh or a ghost or a mummy although that would take a lot of ace bandages. If you have a pair of old work pants, get some latex paint and paint them white. How about a painter's coverall? Those are frequently white and inexpensive. You can always play the "male" card and pretend sartorial inexperience.
He is a real friend but I have not seen in about 10 years because we relocated and he ended up getting married and having kids.
Wait? What? You haven't seen this person in 10 years, he requests a cash gift from you, and you're worried about complying with his dress code?? This just sounds like an invitation that went out to everyone on FB. I get these from people in my old hometown all the time. You can tell they just sent to the whole list otherwise they would realize I'm probably not flying in from Florida and not include me.
I would either totally ignore it, or if you really do want to reconnect with this friend, tell him you're sorry you can't make the party but would he like to get together for lunch or drinks?
Wait? What? You haven't seen this person in 10 years, he requests a cash gift from you, and you're worried about complying with his dress code?? This just sounds like an invitation that went out to everyone on FB. I get these from people in my old hometown all the time. You can tell they just sent to the whole list otherwise they would realize I'm probably not flying in from Florida and not include me.
I would either totally ignore it, or if you really do want to reconnect with this friend, tell him you're sorry you can't make the party but would he like to get together for lunch or drinks?
When he calls me and says my attire has to be all white that's when I will decline because I don't have it in my budget.
It seems you really want to go to this party and you will probably have fun once you are there. Do you do Ebay? I quickly looked for men's white pants before posting and there are many for 10.00 upwards, not knowing your size, I couldn't pinpoint, but surely you can do 10.00( take P&J sandwich's for a couple days to work). 5.00 or 10.00 dollar cash gift is more than enough for a birthday.
I totally agree with the other posters, asking for a money gift is more than tacky! BUT, the way you keep responding to the posts, makes me feel , you really want to go to this party so GO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Many people do theme parties and your friend probably didn't think asking all white would be burdensome as some folks would have family or friends they could borrow white items from.
I wouldn't make these recommendations if it didn't seem that you really want to attend this party. I think this "friend" needs a lesson on etiquette.
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