My friend who is turning 40 has invited to a "all white attire party" and I don't think I can attend (male, alcoholic)
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Waaay too much trouble for a birthday party, IMHO -- I'd be quite sure I had something else important to do that day -- even if it was just washing my hair and watching Netflix. Requesting money for the birthday gift is the worst in bad taste -- that, alone, would be reason enough to skip it. Why encourage bad behavior?
You were invited to a "white party". The point of a white party is everybody dresses in all white clothing. Looking for a dispensation is bad form. Could it be that you are self-conscious about being overweight and forced to wear clothing that accentuates it? 300 lbs dressed in all white is going to look pretty bad.
In any case, I think the gift request is absurd, and if any friend of mine put that in an invitation I would so happily NOT GO it would be ridiculous. My decision would have been made in 3.46 seconds and would sound like this: GTFOH.
I look nice in my white shirt so that is not the issue at all. It's not knowing if I have to get the white pants and shoes to go with it.
Waaay too much trouble for a birthday party, IMHO -- I'd be quite sure I had something else important to do that day -- even if it was just washing my hair and watching Netflix. Requesting money for the birthday gift is the worst in bad taste -- that, alone, would be reason enough to skip it. Why encourage bad behavior?
Now that I think about it since he prefers cash I can just put a 20 in a cash card
So the only issue is knowing if I have to wear all white.
Get better friends. Seriously. The bulk of my friendships are over a decade old (if not 2 decades), and I expect the ones I've made since to last that long as well. And you know why they've lasted? Because my friends aren't pretentious, narcissistic douchebags.
He is a real friend but I have not seen in about 10 years because we relocated and he ended up getting married and having kids.
Then why would you put yourself through all this worry? Don't go!
ETA, I don't want to sound mean, but I don't think he invited "you" to this party. If literally all of his FB friends are invited, I doubt he'll miss you, and I don't think it will be the end of whatever kind of relationship you have. If you are interested in reconnecting send him a message "I'm sorry I can't make it to your party, but let's meet for lunch sometime!" or something.
wow if they really did put prefers a cash gift on the invite that is the epitomy of tacky and then some . I think you should reconsider if this person is really a friend or not ? No I would not go to the trouble of the white outfit at all and just tell them sorry cant make it and if they throw a fit over you not coming , Oh well then they are a friend of low quality moral character and you should cross them off as a friend because I can tell you they are not a friend.
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