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Next time you go, drink a couple of cans of Red Bull or Monster drink and you won't be able to stop talking.
After that event ends, they'll either love you or won't invite you any more gatherings in the future.
I think one of the most painful things a person can do is sit with a group of people you have very little in common with and make small talk for hours. I see these large gatherings all the time. Groups of people who are sitting together who are struggling to make conversation with the people who are sitting next to them. To keep the conversation going they end up saying stupid things and feel ill at ease during long awkward pauses in the conversation.
They can't escape because of family obligations.
Is this painful to anyone else?
Yes, I find this painful. Therefore I am choosy about attending family events and don't go to every single planned event.
Lately I've had to endure my in-laws a lot more than the average. My MIL and SIL talk/gossip about the other behind each other's backs, when one leaves the room or whatever. This is the last week of my prison sentence of being chained to my in-laws as its slowing down to work release. By the end of the summer I hope to be on parole. I'm at the point of wanting to make it clear to each of them that they're gossiping about one another. I just don't want anything to interfere with my 'good behavior time' so I might be able to negotiate an early release from this nonsense.
By the 4th of July I plan to be in my hammock reading a book, far away from any family event.
What's painful to me is having to be in a gathering of complete strangers. With family, however remote, it's easy. You just ask them questions ("Hey, I haven't seen you since Aunt Maude's 100th birthday party. What have you been up to?")
Everybody loves talking about themselves. As long as you put the spotlight on them, they'll perform.
Just don't expect them to be interested in you and you won't be disappointed. But this is about getting through the event, not necessarily enjoying it.
So, as long as we're here, what's up with your 600 lb hideously disfigured reclusive sister? Still locked in your guest bedroom?
What's painful to me is having to be in a gathering of complete strangers. With family, however remote, it's easy. You just ask them questions ("Hey, I haven't seen you since Aunt Maude's 100th birthday party. What have you been up to?")
Everybody loves talking about themselves. As long as you put the spotlight on them, they'll perform.
Just don't expect them to be interested in you and you won't be disappointed. But this is about getting through the event, not necessarily enjoying it.
So, as long as we're here, what's up with your 600 lb hideously disfigured reclusive sister? Still locked in your guest bedroom?
Aunt Maude died last year. Damn you, pulling off that scab.
Tell them that you have other plans that day and can't make it. After all, you can easily have other plans - plans to relax with a book, plans to clean the bathroom. You don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you aren't at an event. Give them your regrets, pass along your greetings and wishes for a great time. Then enjoy your day.
Or as someone else said - if you feel like you "should" make an appearance, then do so. When you get there, tell them that you have to leave at "x" time because you have other plans after that (no need to specify what those plans are). When "x" time arrives, politely make your departure.
I really don't see the point of attending family events where no one is polite/gets along. They may be biological family, but they often aren't your friends.
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