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Long story short, I have had an incredibly rocky relationship with a friend for about a year and a half now. However, we are in the same group of friends. We got close a couple of months into being friends, a lot of people would tout it as gay and I started to be convinced myself, he initiated everything, and then I came out to him and he said it was all a joke.
A few weeks later he asked me to be his messenger for a girl that he started liking, and then whenever it didn't work, he went around and told dozens of people that I ruined everything between them two and that I don't vouch for him, etc.
And in general, I would get annoyed with him because he would do questionable things and I would always feel like he's BSing.
The last time I told him I needed distance, he acted insanely awkward around me for 2 months. Then I tried texting him, he ignored me. I texted him numerous times, no response. He tried to get me out of the group, and ruin my life, as 4 people in my group have stated, and then eventually people started seeing my side and the tables turned.
People would legitimately cuss him out for how he's treating me, and criticize him, and he would still avoid me, ignore me, and act very awkward around me. So many of them reassured me that they're all on my side. Our friends even banned him from my house and it didn't make him do anything.
Then a couple of days ago two of my friends notified him that he's going to lose all his friends if he doesn't talk to me. At first he said that "it's because I don't care about (my name), you have to respect my decision man"... but then a total 180, which I am very suspect about.
Now, we've been texting before meeting up to talk, but he literally told me that "I'm planning on going up to everyone individually and explaining that I didn't avoid this because I running away, but because I didn't care." Is that even possible? Avoiding me for 8 months and acting awkward around me instead of talking to me, and having your friends cuss you out constantly and ban you from my house, and yet you do nothing... is that really because there's no care?
tl;dr: friend and I have been very, very on and off. We haven't been friends for 8 months, because he's been avoiding me. He finally realized he's losing his friends so he started talking to me. Clarified he didn't avoid me because he was running away, but because he didn't care. Is this possible?
I have no idea why you would even speak to or spend any time around this person.
His reason doesn't matter. This is not in any way about whether he "likes" you or cares about you. He has shown himself to be uncaring, rude and immature.
How he treats you makes no difference. It's also no one else's business. You are still hung up on him and you don't have enough self esteem to move on. He's a jerk and a manipulator.
You need to develop a new group of friends that he's not part of. Keep the ones you care about, but branch out and stop going to the same old hangouts he frequents. Time to grow up.
How he treats you makes no difference. It's also no one else's business. You are still hung up on him and you don't have enough self esteem to move on. He's a jerk and a manipulator.
You need to develop a new group of friends that he's not part of. Keep the ones you care about, but branch out and stop going to the same old hangouts he frequents. Time to grow up.
I agree.
Having the group drumming up all this drama isn't flattering. It's annoying and childish.
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