Borrowing large amounts of money from disabled relative (cousins, meeting, person)
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Sounds as though your greatest personal challenge is getting straight in your mind what -- if any -- ethical obligation you do or don't have to involve yourself in your cousins' domestic situation.
Is the child in danger? If so, call in CPS.
Is the "disabled" (lender) cousin mentally disabled? If so, involve her social worker regarding financial exploitation.
If not, then your challenge is to distance yourself from the whole situation in such a way that you are at peace in your own mind about letting it all play out without your interference.
Sounds as though your greatest personal challenge is getting straight in your mind what -- if any -- ethical obligation you do or don't have to involve yourself in your cousins' domestic situation.
Is the child in danger? If so, call in CPS.
Is the "disabled" (lender) cousin mentally disabled? If so, involve her social worker regarding financial exploitation.
If not, then your challenge is to distance yourself from the whole situation in such a way that you are at peace in your own mind about letting it all play out without your interference.
$500/mo to sleep on a couch? An undocumented $3K loan? The sister is highly questionable. For one thing, my roommate pays me $500 a month to live upstairs at my house and she has her own room and bathroom. We're not even related.
If your disabled cousin is MENTALLY disabled, you might want to call an advocate for the mentally disabled because she is being taken advantage of.
But otherwise, I'd just advise her to move out as soon as possible and to cut ties with her sister after she does so.
good points. yes, she had head trauma and has learning and memory problems. otherwise, if it was a deal between 2 equally minded people, i'd be inclined to not get involved.
Okay, your cousin's case regarding neglect is getting ready to close, in spite of the fact that she rents space in someone's living room. So, as far as CPS is concerned, her situation is acceptable.
When her situation becomes unacceptable, CPS will do something about it.
If the fact that she no longer has her back pay matters to CPS, CPS will do something about it. If they care, it will become apparent she no longer has the back pay. If they care why, she can prove she lent it to her sister, rather than spent it on drugs or whatever.
I don't see how giving her money to her sister makes her an unfit mother. If the CPS plan included how she was supposed to spend that money, then they'll discover it and deal with it.
I see no reason for you to cause trouble for your cousin. And that's all you would accomplish.
From what I read, nobody is in danger, and CPS is fine with her situation.
So, my opinion is that you should leave it alone.
sorry, i don't think it makes her unfit. the social worker involvement would be to protect the mentally disabled sister, not to punish her. the disabled sister has done nothing wrong. there is not danger yet to the child. but the mom is now not able to provide for long term housing. CPS does have a plan for the money. It's to secure housing for the mom and child. How is that possible, without permanent housing,which would cost well over 2k, considering that there is 1st month, deposit, and furniture cost. Living on a couch is just a short term solution. And the landlord doesn't know about it, so eviction is possible due to sneaking in roommates.
good points. yes, she had head trauma and has learning and memory problems. otherwise, if it was a deal between 2 equally minded people, i'd be inclined to not get involved.
Sounds to me like the sister is taking advantage of her disabled sister.....maybe even emotionally blackmailing her..."Don't tell or Soc. Services wont let me be the one to take care of your child". This why their are laws in place to help mentally disabled adults and protect them from these type relatives or caregivers.
Sounds to me like the sister is taking advantage of her disabled sister.....maybe even emotionally blackmailing her..."Don't tell or Soc. Services wont let me be the one to take care of your child". This why their are laws in place to help mentally disabled adults and protect them from these type relatives or caregivers.
I'd talk to your disabled cousins case manager. Your cousin needs other living arrangements, believe me there is housing available that would be dollars per month, not 500 dollars per month in low income housing. Her child needs a caregiver that isn't committing fraud against her mother. It is a very sad situation. Is there anyone else willing to help your disabled cousin.
i can help. but setting up housing takes time. i need 3 months for my lease to end. then i could let her stay with me, having a room to herself for less money and being on the lease.
problem is now, that my landlord doesn't want anyone added to the lease. so i have to wait it out.
low income housing is another option. there are waiting list. that's in the works, but could take several months.
i can help. but setting up housing takes time. i need 3 months for my lease to end. then i could let her stay with me, having a room to herself for less money and being on the lease.
problem is now, that my landlord doesn't want anyone added to the lease. so i have to wait it out.
low income housing is another option. there are waiting list. that's in the works, but could take several months.
Because of her disabling condition, plus an infant child she should be closer to the top. She should talk to her caseworker.
And, Please correct me FTC if I am guessing wrong. But, clarifying for those confused about the source of the cousins income....Sounds like she just qualified for SSDI....and they do make up the stipend missed. The money has nothing to do with CPS. CPS does not give out monetary support.
Because of her disabling condition, plus an infant child she should be closer to the top. She should talk to her caseworker. And, Please correct me FTC if I am guessing wrong. But, clarifying for those confused about the source of the cousins income....Sounds like she just qualified for SSDI....and they do make up the stipend missed. The money has nothing to do with CPS. CPS does not give out monetary support.
that's true, but they require that parents secure housing. so if a parent has money and uses it for other things, it can be an issue. in the long run, sleeping on the couch of someone where you don't have the landlords permission to live doesn't count as secure housing. there's no protection against being evicted.
social security can investigate to see if the funds were used properly. that means, for needs (e.g. food, shelter, clothing). If funds were mismanaged, then they can set up a person or charitable organization to manage their funds and document their spending to social security. That would include, not letting money be lent and not paid back, as that is not what the funds were meant for.
social security can investigate to see if the funds were used properly. that means, for needs (e.g. food, shelter, clothing). If funds were mismanaged, then they can set up a person or charitable organization to manage their funds and document their spending to social security. That would include, not letting money be lent and not paid back, as that is not what the funds were meant for.
This is not true. Unless the judge ruled that she must have a payee, then she can do whatever she wants with her money. And if she had access to the money in order to give it to her sister, then she does not have a payee.
They would only care about additional income. Or if she has SSI, then she has to pay down her back pay, so she doesn't have more than $2,000 in assets. Which means she can spend as much as she wants, but not earn over a certain amount.
I think you just personally have ideas about how she should spend her money. But, she's not done anything against any rules here, and CPS is apparently okay with her living situation.
So, I really don't understand your persistence to get in the middle of her life, and in a way that can really hurt her, when all of the authorities in her life are okay with what she's doing. If her sister doesn't pay her back, then she will learn not to lend money to her sister. People have the right to learn these lessons for themselves.
Last edited by NoMoreSnowForMe; 07-15-2015 at 06:52 PM..
that's true, but they require that parents secure housing. so if a parent has money and uses it for other things, it can be an issue. in the long run, sleeping on the couch of someone where you don't have the landlords permission to live doesn't count as secure housing. there's no protection against being evicted.
social security can investigate to see if the funds were used properly. that means, for needs (e.g. food, shelter, clothing). If funds were mismanaged, then they can set up a person or charitable organization to manage their funds and document their spending to social security. That would include, not letting money be lent and not paid back, as that is not what the funds were meant for.
I think you may be confusing the "look back" that happens when a person uses their medicare insurance, for example while in a nursing home. I do not think SSDi tracks what the person spends their income on.
I did suggest that you consider contacting APS because you intimated that the cousin was not intending to pay back the "loan" and your post implies some fraudulent behaviors by this sister involving the disabled sister's SSDI income.
Is there something about your concerns that you are leaving out? What are your true concerns??
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