What would your reaction be if you found out as an adult that your parents never married? (house, aging)

[rosebyanothername]

You may never figure out why they didn't marry. In the state where I live, it would be a common law marriage if they lived together a certain amount of years and as far as SS benefits, I am not sure about entitlement, if any.

[Hollywood55]

Originally Posted by nynraleigh

Interested in responses...no I'm not going through this but want to hear feedback.

Situation: The couple lived as a married couple, were living together for nearly 45 years, everyone assumed they were married, raised children, had the house, two cars, fenced yard, etc; wife took on husbands name, now the husband passes {2015} away, wife not entitled to husband social security benefits. Children find out.

What would be your reaction? Your issues with this, if any?

Me personally, I would be disappointed but my curious nature would be why they never married? What circumstances surrounded why they just wanted to live together. What's the deep dark secret? LOL

Is it any business of the child/children to know this? Is it betrayal by the parents not tell their children as adults?

Thanks

I would be like, "Thank God!" Now, I know why over the years that other relatives referred to me as "that little bastard." Not that I lost any sleep over it, just nice to know the truth. Finally!

[warren zee]

My parents were married in the 1950s. They were married for 50 years until my fathers death, I saw the wedding pictures. I never asked to see a certificate.

My father was a Korean war veteran and college grad. My mother went to a secretarial school. They always provided for us.

If I found out that now? I really would not care. They were well prepared to have kids and I was planned after one year of marriage. They they bought a house once I was born.

That isn't the case of most out of wedlock children today who are born to poorly educated teenagers.

[Hollywood55]

Originally Posted by Arne Bjornson

If I found out my parents were never married, I'd immediately get married to the next person I met just to spite them.

From the short bus. You know Anne, there are a lot of homeless men out there who just may take you up on your offer. I wouldn't set your sights too high. But then again, that does not seem to be a problem here. "The next person I meet" You have set the bar so high. Just to spite your parents? Really?

[Jukesgrrl]

I would laugh my you-know-what off. Then again, my parents were together for so long I doubt if there are very many states in which they wouldn't have been considered married by common law. In this particular case, as described, I think the woman in question needs a good lawyer.

[silibran]

What you describe sounds like a common law marriage. Have you checked into whether common law spouses can qualify for SS benefits?

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl

I would laugh my you-know-what off. Then again, my parents were together for so long I doubt if there are very many states in which they wouldn't have been considered married by common law. In this particular case, as described, I think the woman in question needs a good lawyer.

I just checked and only 11 states recognize common law marriages, two of which only honor them if they started before a certain date (so no new common law marriages will ever be recognized) and in one of those 11 states you have to file documentation with the courts (presumable while you are alive) to have your arrangement considered a common law marriage.

So, the bottom line is only a few states would actually recognize it.

[thinkalot]

Did anyone think that maybe they couldn't get married because one or both already were?

Common law marriage laws were changed by most states years ago.

[AnnieA]

Florida doesn't recognize common law relationships.

[Patrolman]

Not having my parents married was a prerequisite to getting on the police department. That and the ability to be able to fall sleep standing up.