I've heard women say: "I don't have any female friends"....why is this? (guilty, present)

[Jukesgrrl]

To anyone who only meets one kind of person, I think the Jukesgrrl Rule of Life® applies: If something weird or unpleasant happens once, it's an anomaly. Twice and it's a coincidence. Three times or more and you need to look at yourself to see what you are doing to attract that negativity.

[BusyMeAK]

Originally Posted by artemis agrotera

I, have awesome friends. Some are women, and some are men.



Well, which category do you fall into

1st for sure

[bpollen]

Originally Posted by Rocco Barbosa

I've spent my entire career working in healthcare. Healthcare is largely a workforce made up of women.

In my 20 years of working, starting as an hourly associate and now as a Director at a very large hospital network( I've worked in 6 different hospitals)........I can see why many women are not friends with other women.

Some of the nastiest and most negitive people working in the hopitals are women. It's hard for me to believe some of them have children and boyfriends/husbands. It's vey toxic to say the least. I am not saying men are not toxic, but I can clearly see why many women don't have women friends.

The level of meaness and cattiness is overbearing at times. It's actually unforunate because many of them think their behavior is "just fine".


What are your theories?

There are rotten apples in every barrel. But I am a woman, and I really like other women (no...not in a homosexual way!). My experience with them has been just the opposite of finding them mean and nasty and negative (at least any more so than men or the general population).

I think women may feel certain pressures more than men, what with being the primary caretakers of the kids and home, as well as working. Jealousy can also rear its head. But make no mistake: men can be the same way, but in a different way. Beware men who are out for you: they will cause you serious trouble at work, if not get you fired. Women give a little more thought to others' feelings and the effect on others' jobs.

[drazda]

Okay this stupid thread again? Like I said in the previous threads (that are exactly like this one) I have female friends and male friends. ALL of my male friends have tried to have sex with me at one point or another, even one married male friend. Female friendships are more valuable to me, considering they're never trying to F me.

[stava]

Women can be truly awful to other women. It's scary to see. I work in a male-dominated field and I actually like it, because the women there are typically "tougher" and more controlled in their behavior. If you act too gossipy or petty, you're not taken seriously as a professional.

[animalcrazy]

No offense to other women like me that aren't at all like what I described it may not be every younger women but it sure as hell is a lot. I don't know why but women+hierarchy=disaster.[/quote]


You sound like one of the exceptions to the rule. Our new manager was a younger woman and our old manager was an older man. She is why I quit the job I loved for ten years. There is another woman manager above her that I didn't particularly care for that came up to me one day and gave me her cell phone number. WHY? That was just weird. I don't have to work to survive so I voted with my feet on the matter. It's amazing how two people can destroy a department in a few short weeks. I've also seen an older woman manager from a different discipline in with our new manager for over an hour. One can only guess what went on behind closed doors there. It's a very small hospital and nothing stays secret for long. I've never seen moral so bad and people leave on such a mass exodus in the ten years I've worked there. I feel sorry for the ones stuck in their misery. I don't understand why women can't control their emotions better, especially in upper management. That new manager that gave me her cell phone number even told me some really personal things that were incredibly sad. I just saw it as a way to try to manipulate me. I agree that sociopathic women in upper management are scary. I'm afraid you have a long way to go before you retire dear one. I hope it's smooth sailing for you.

[animalcrazy]

Originally Posted by drazda

Okay this stupid thread again? Like I said in the previous threads (that are exactly like this one) I have female friends and male friends. ALL of my male friends have tried to have sex with me at one point or another, even one married male friend. Female friendships are more valuable to me, considering they're never trying to F me.

I had a female manager come on to me after we started hanging around together with our spouses

[green papaya]

my experience in retail, the biggest complainers were always women, they always want to talk to the manager or file a complaint.

some even blame the employee if you dont have their size

very few men make a complaint, they simply move on, but the women always make a scene or think their aggressive complaining will get them what they want, they cry or complain about everything just like a big baby.

and 9 times out of 10 it's always women that bring stuff back for a refund, sometimes they bring back a whole shopping cart and decided they dont need it. They do lots of impulse buying.

[veganwriter]

THANK YOU Rocco Barbosa!
You continue to make some HONEST posts.

We can't solve a problem until we admit it and understand it.

True: When women are angry or want to fight-- they often don't know when to stop.
(men are controlled a bit with the treat of violence. not so with women.)

True: While we NEED Feminism (because as long as there's inequity in pay, we need Feminism ... even when more women are hired in particular fields than men, it's still needed) ... but when resentment and ego become the primary driving motivations, compassion gets lost.

Solution One: Most Americans don't have a "Rites of Passage."
I've come across African and Native American ideas that say the same thing:

"If you don't teach a boy how to become a man, he won't know how to live.
(i.e., he won't know how to work, or be a good father, or husband.)
"If you don't teach a girl how to become a woman, you unleash chaos onto the world.
(i.e., she won't know how to become a good mother, wife, or neighbor.)

So... if a woman has a mindset that she's being cheated somehow, and she's resentful and egotistical... and she lacks a JOB DESCRIPTION ...(on life)... and she lives without a threat of violence or repercussions, the lower instincts and behavior patterns take over.

Of course we have to factor in the Time Spirits we're currently dealing with...

• "The age of narcissism has evolved into the age of loneliness"
• Attachment issues-- if I didn't bond with you growing up, there's no reason for me to be polite to you
• Low self-esteem.. one cause of bullying... and not knowing HOW to raise it
• A culture of generational dysfunctional family systems that tear each other down instead of lift each other up
• And old, bitter women teaching younger ones their poison

A quick online search reveals that it's gotten so bad, that even WOMEN are creating groups AGAINST organized Feminism.
These are women who have sons and love men as partners and lovers.

People talk bad about Freud... "Oh he was an addict" ... or, "His penis-theory was absurd" ... but Freud had some BRILLIANT points that we often don't like to accept. One sticks in my mind:

... The root of aggression is sexual.

With all this resentment and loneliness ... the human being is going to do something... with something or someone...

That means ... is our shame-based theology keeping up with modern realities?
People of all genders need to be set free instead of shaming each other. I often wonder if due to sexism, if women feel free enough to tell the world who they REALLY are?
Pent up aggression has to come out somewhere!
And Freud proved that Repression doesn't work...

So, in this Age of Narcissism, I predict more men will travel overseas to look for wives and lovers, and increasing numbers of women will either have to have sex with their new cars they back-stabbed their way up the ladder to buy, or ... invest in more sex toys... or engage in more, "Down Low" sex with each other ... which will only make them MORE toxic ... NOT because there's anything wrong with it... BUT BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY HAVE TO COVER IT UP ... or that it's, "down and dirty" ... deliciously shameful.

American women are going through what is NOT their finest hour.
But hopefully, more will eventually disengage from whatever is in the media that's contributing to this, "DRAMA".

Basically, we have to evolve beyond this silly, "Girls Vs. Boys" mentality ... and become mature human beings addressing the real problems in our larger lives.

[city living]

Originally Posted by CSD610

HA I am boring and a Btch and I enjoy both very much.

Some women just do not relate to a lot of other women on so many different levels it really is not worth the effort to pursue a friendship.

I do not go shopping just to shop.
I do not gossip.
I do not watch television.
I do not get my nails done.
I do not get my hair done.
I do not have to have the latest fashion.
I hate shoes.
I hate soap operas.
I have had the same handbag for about 10 years now.
And the list goes on.
The female friends I have are few but have been friends for more than 10 years with most of them.

It's not like the women you've mentioned above are THAT rare, considering I can almost type out that same list. (With one exception---I don't have cable/watch TV but I do watch TV shows through Netflix.) I haven't had too many long term friends (aside from my husband) but usually my friends, although weren't just like me, had some things in common with me.

Originally Posted by wonderwall

Some of these comments are making me feel like I'm in the twilight zone. I am incredulous at the sexism in these posts. I am sure all sexist posts will be denied and be touted as "just saying the facts" or something.

Oh, and one of my biggest pet peeves in life is women who say all their friends are guys or something to that effect. It's usually them that give us a bad name.

I also feel like I'm in the twilight zone. It's funny to read about all of these women complaining about how awful other women are, yet they are not like that---it's just "the others."

I work in healthcare. In my field, I've experienced both men and women who are grade A you-know-whats---and maybe they were jerks in different ways, but didn't matter---they were still jerks.