I've heard women say: "I don't have any female friends"....why is this? (boyfriend, husbands)
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I've spent my entire career working in healthcare. Healthcare is largely a workforce made up of women.
In my 20 years of working, starting as an hourly associate and now as a Director at a very large hospital network( I've worked in 6 different hospitals)........I can see why many women are not friends with other women.
Some of the nastiest and most negitive people working in the hopitals are women. It's hard for me to believe some of them have children and boyfriends/husbands. It's vey toxic to say the least. I am not saying men are not toxic, but I can clearly see why many women don't have women friends.
The level of meaness and cattiness is overbearing at times. It's actually unforunate because many of them think their behavior is "just fine".
I've spent my entire career working in healthcare. Healthcare is largely a workforce made up of women.
In my 20 years of working, starting as an hourly associate and now as a Director at a very large hospital network( I've worked in 6 different hospitals)........I can see why many women are not friends with other women.
Some of the nastiest and most negitive people working in the hopitals are women. It's hard for me to believe some of them have children and boyfriends/husbands. It's vey toxic to say the least. I am not saying men are not toxic, but I can clearly see why many women don't have women friends.
The level of meaness and cattiness is overbearing at times. It's actually unforunate because many of them think their behavior is "just fine".
What are your theories?
I'm a retired teacher, also a workforce made up primarily of women. With a few, very rare exceptions, all of the women that I have worked with are kind, sweet, compassionate people. Many would literally give you the shirt of their back if you needed it.
I have only known one teacher who was mean or catty out of the hundreds of female teachers that I have worked with since I started teaching 40 years ago.
Is it possible that the problem is you?
Last edited by germaine2626; 08-16-2015 at 06:01 PM..
Yes, unfortunately, my experience in working for a small hospital in Estes Park, CO was a hair-raiser with exactly what you are describing. The bullying on my job started right away...the first week, by a good Christian woman. Sociopaths / psychopaths / toxic narcissists have a high population in the healthcare field. I kept waiting for it to get better. Ha! I became an expert on "bullying" out of necessity...try bully online. The only way for an organization to deal with bullying is to have a zero tolerance policy and to enforce it strictly. Today I'm alive, well, and living my best life...away from that town and those barracudas who like to be a big fish in a very small pond.
Everything you said has been pretty true in my experience. Other women I meet are catty, mean, and also incredibly vain. I do not want to talk about clothes shopping, the most expensive bag I own, when I can get my nails done, or which female acquaintance is having a torrid affair and being a ****. I just don't care about any of that material nonsense and I hate gossiping. Gossiping women give me a headache and make me want to claw my ears off. I know there are some warm and caring women out there but I rarely meet them. The ones I thought were nice turned into those catty and vain people after a while. I no longer spend any energy on female friendships. It is exhausting and nauseating and NOT worth the time investment. I am much happier just dealing with my own family and my own life. I get along much better with males and always have. I will say my Stepmom is the sweetest and kindest person I know though. She's a rare jewel. She is called "Mom" by me and always will be as she is the one who always took care of me and loved me through thick and thin. She is the only female in my life that is positive, kind, and strong. Knowing people like her are out there makes me KNOW that there are other women like that out there but they are indeed rare.
I'm a retired teacher, also a workforce made up primarily of women. With a few, very rare exceptions, all of the women that I have worked with are kind, sweet, compassionate people. Many would literally give you the shirt of their back if you needed it.
Yeah, me too. I feel bad for women who can't or don't have supportive working relationships and friendships with other women. With very few exceptions I've always been around women who've had my back, and I've had theirs. But I do tend to think that people who say that women are nothing but drama bring a lot of that drama on themselves.
I'm a retired teacher, also a workforce made up primarily of women. With a few, very rare exceptions, all of the women that I have worked with are kind, sweet, compassionate people. Many would literally give you the shirt of their back if you needed it.
I have only known one teacher who was mean or catty out of the hundreds of teachers that I have worked with since I started teaching 40 years ago.
Is it possible that the problem is you?
Yes, this. Out of hundreds of women I worked with, two were nasty and vengeful people. I've worked with far fewer men and two of those were nasty and vengeful people.
Some people are just jerks and are awful people. It's not due to gender. Some of the nicest and most wonderful people I know are men and some are women. It's a personality thing, not a gender thing.
Everything you said has been pretty true in my experience. Other women I meet are catty, mean, and also incredibly vain. I do not want to talk about clothes shopping, the most expensive bag I own, when I can get my nails done, or which female acquaintance is having a torrid affair and being a ****. I just don't care about any of that material nonsense and I hate gossiping. Gossiping women give me a headache and make me want to claw my ears off. I know there are some warm and caring women out there but I rarely meet them. The ones I thought were nice turned into those catty and vain people after a while. I no longer spend any energy on female friendships. It is exhausting and nauseating and NOT worth the time investment. I am much happier just dealing with my own family and my own life. I get along much better with males and always have. I will say my Stepmom is the sweetest and kindest person I know though. She's a rare jewel. She is called "Mom" by me and always will be as she is the one who always took care of me and loved me through thick and thin. She is the only female in my life that is positive, kind, and strong. Knowing people like her are out there makes me KNOW that there are other women like that out there but they are indeed rare.
I don't know who you hang out with, but I rarely discuss clothes or shopping. I couldn't care less about gossip. Finding caring and compassionate people is not that hard. Volunteer in a school or an area of need doing charity work.
I'm an older RN who has seen the described behavior increase over the years. It started when staffing cutbacks began in the 1980's. RN's were frequently floated to areas where they had no experience, often midshift. If the census was low they were often called 1 hr before a scheduled shift and told to stay home "on call" for the entire shift. If the census dropped mid shift due to pt discharges, they were sent home to remain "on call" for the remainder of the shift. The pt load per RN increased from 6-8 pts with an aid to assist up to 10-12 pts on a typical medical/surgical floor. The required charting increased significantly also.
Thus it has become extremely stressful in many hospitals.
I don't have typical interests and no time for drama. I'm only friends with like minded men or women. Unfortunately, a lot of women are interested in clothing, shopping, celebrities, etc. I'd rather talk about fishing, recent books, canning, hiking or whiskey. So, I have a hard time finding the right women to be friends with.
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