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In life, you gotta pick your battles - otherwise everything is a fight and ain't nobody got time fo dat. Well, some people thrive on it but not emotionally healthy people.
The answer to the ownership of the ring is within your post:
"but anything valuable (ie. her wedding ring) was given to my mother."
Ownership was decided a couple years earlier. Your mom owns the ring and it is hers to do with it what ever she wants. Your cousin has no claim on the ring.
Mom owns the ring. If she is agreeable, and your cousin wants it, she can pay each of the 3 remaining cousins a 1/4 of the value of the ring and it's hers.
It maybe very traditional, but I find it very strange that one would "provide" their own engagement ring with no input from the fiance. My D has a beautiful diamond solitaire ring that my father-in-law's second wife gave to her for a graduation gift. My father-in-law gave it to his second wife before he died. She wears it on her right hand-ring finger. Her long term boyfriend doesn't see this as even a remote possibility for an engagement ring. That's not to say that both my D and her BF can't pay for a new ring.
If she wants the ring she should pay the OP's mom 100% of the value of the ring. The OP's mom is the owner of the ring now.
Just wondering: what happened to your grandmother's wedding ring? We've been discussing an engagement ring, but didn't she also have a wedding ring?
Before she died, my mother decided that her engagement ring would go to my sister and her wedding ring to me. That way we each have a memento of her marriage to our dad, and something to pass on to our kids if we so desire.
So, if there's a wedding ring as well, that might be a solution here as well.
But, I also think that your cousin got the family good china, which may, in fact, be worth more than the ring. Since your mother doesn't wear the ring, perhaps a swap for the china would work?
I agree, however, that it's best if your engagement ring is bought by your fiance. That way, you can pick out what you and he like and it will have special meaning to you in the years to come. You also will be able to give it (and your wedding ring) to your future children without any guilt, should you decide to pass it down.
Forget the ring -- be happy and enjoy your engagement!
Just wondering: what happened to your grandmother's wedding ring? We've been discussing an engagement ring, but didn't she also have a wedding ring?
Before she died, my mother decided that her engagement ring would go to my sister and her wedding ring to me. That way we each have a memento of her marriage to our dad, and something to pass on to our kids if we so desire.
So, if there's a wedding ring as well, that might be a solution here as well.
But, I also think that your cousin got the family good china, which may, in fact, be worth more than the ring. Since your mother doesn't wear the ring, perhaps a swap for the china would work?
I agree, however, that it's best if your engagement ring is bought by your fiance. That way, you can pick out what you and he like and it will have special meaning to you in the years to come. You also will be able to give it (and your wedding ring) to your future children without any guilt, should you decide to pass it down.
Forget the ring -- be happy and enjoy your engagement!
It's the engagement and wedding band. It's one of those where you put the engagement ring in between the two bands... no idea what it's called!
We decided my mom will hold on to the ring for now, but that I'll eventually get it. Turns out, my cousin is fine with it at this point and realized that it's my mom's ring and can do with it whatever she wants.
We decided my mom will hold on to the ring for now, but that I'll eventually get it. Turns out, my cousin is fine with it at this point and realized that it's my mom's ring and can do with it whatever she wants.
Thanks for all the suggestions on how to handle it! Sometimes it's good to get an opinion from someone other than friends.
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