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why would a 40 year old daughter work at burger king when she can get everything she wants living with her loving well to do parents?
think about that for a second. and according to the op, this daughter has worked quite a few years it seems, just left the workforce.
i'm sure if lots of these gen x "slackers" didn't have millionaire parents, they would go out and work a menial job cos then they'd have no choice.
I'm a gen Xer and not sure if you're joking around or not, but no one in my peer group or people I know personally would allow themselves to be supported by their parents and work at Burger King.... I'm sure some people do, but like I said, no one that I've every known has done that.....
If she's happy, you're happy. Or should be at least.
I have a friend with the exact same position except its her son freeloading.
She sleeps better when he's in the house. So for her, its a win win.
(he's in and out, trying hard and finally succeeding with a good job now etc, still freeloads though)
I would criticize that at my absolute peril. There would be no quicker way to drive her out of my life than have a go at her about her kids. And I feel the same way about mine.
I am an adult and I live with my parents because I have both mental and chronic physical illnesses. There might be more to the story. A lot of my parent's friends don't know I'm sick because I don't want them to know my personal struggles. I would think twice before judging others when you may not know the full story . your friend may be trying to protect her daughter's privacy, therefore not telling you the full story.
And I don't want to assume anything bad about your character.. But I have to wonder, do you have a habit of getting in people's business and voicing your opinion when it hasn't been asked for?
I am an adult and I live with my parents because I have both mental and chronic physical illnesses. There might be more to the story. A lot of my parent's friends don't know I'm sick because I don't want them to know my personal struggles. I would think twice before judging others when you may not know the full story . your friend may be trying to protect her daughter's privacy, therefore not telling you the full story.
And I don't want to assume anything bad about your character.. But I have to wonder, do you have a habit of getting in people's business and voicing your opinion when it hasn't been asked for?
You actually make some good points.... I didn't even think about this element.
I am very concerned about a close friend of mine. She has a daughter who is in her forties who moved in with Mom and Dad after she lost her job in the Great Recession in 2009. Now 6 years later the daughter still lives with her parents and still does not have a job and not a dime to her name.
The daughter is living a life similar to a teenage girl but without school and a part time job to keep her busy. She does not drive and has no money and does not contribute to the household in any way. Other than sleeping, she just hangs around the house and watches television and reads. The daughter has no kids, does not involve herself in volunteer work or attend church.
My friend does not think it a big thing. Should her friends or family get involved?
Do you know any adults in their forties who live with their parents and don't work or contribute to the household at all?
My advice? You should not get involved.
The daughter could be clinically depressed or emotionally ill. Perhaps she is on disability. She could have inadequate personality disorder, or dependent personality disorder and be unable to live on her own effectively. She could have been traumatized by the loss of her job.
She could also have a physical illness.
Or - your friends don't care. They do not want their daughter to be homeless.
My guess? It is one of the above reasons. Don't pry. You will ruin your relationship.
In the old days, it was not unusual for a family to include a grown child who never married or a relative who was a near do well. There were reasons that some people did not or could not live on their own. Strangely, while reasons were less understood then, folks seemed less judgmental.
I think you should mind your own business and instead, examine why this bothers you so much.
I am very concerned about a close friend of mine. She has a daughter who is in her forties who moved in with Mom and Dad after she lost her job in the Great Recession in 2009. Now 6 years later the daughter still lives with her parents and still does not have a job and not a dime to her name.
The daughter is living a life similar to a teenage girl but without school and a part time job to keep her busy. She does not drive and has no money and does not contribute to the household in any way. Other than sleeping, she just hangs around the house and watches television and reads. The daughter has no kids, does not involve herself in volunteer work or attend church.
My friend does not think it a big thing. Should her friends or family get involved?
Do you know any adults in their forties who live with their parents and don't work or contribute to the household at all?
Believe it or not, it's actually not that much of a drain to care for another person who has no expenses other than room, board and food.
My mom told me many years ago that her and my dad could house me and take care of me until they die and it wouldn't ever be a burden financially. She wasn't telling me that because that is what she wanted me to do. She was telling me it wouldn't be that big of a financial strain BUT ... you should want to get your life together.
I won't get into why I was in that situation, but yea, an extra plate for dinner, an extra plate for lunch, some extra on the gas bill, and electric bill, toiletries, clothes.
Isn't it the role of a close friend to get involved when someone is letting them be taken advantage of?
FYI: The freeloading daughter is a very nice person, with above average intelligence, well spoken and up to 2009 had a good job history as an Office Manager. She is not facing any intellectual, emotional or physical challenges other than being LAZY.
No, that is NOT the role of a close friend.
How do you KNOW she's not facing any emotional challenges? You do NOT know what goes on behind closed doors, and I am sure neither the daughter nor her mother have shared every nuance of their lives with you.
MYOB.
If any of my children fell on hard times and needed a safe place, I would hope they would consider my home a safe harbor and seek refuge here.
I'm a gen Xer and not sure if you're joking around or not, but no one in my peer group or people I know personally would allow themselves to be supported by their parents and work at Burger King.... I'm sure some people do, but like I said, no one that I've every known has done that.....
YMMV
gen Xer's represent the largest population group that has left the eligible workforce in the past 10 years. many who have left don't even factor into unemployment data. my point is many gen Xer's have parents who are well to do and most likely stole from their futures. we all complain about economic policies leveraging off future generations, well it's happening.
i'm a gen Xer and live a good independent life like many others, but there are millions living at home with their parents. Don't shun them, accept the reality.
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