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I never forced my interests on her. She was interrogating me on why I was traveling to Korea. I felt I was giving her legitimate reasons on why I was going. I never shoved my heritage and culture in her face, not even once.
I understand not looking up my relatives made no sense to her, but that was a long, personal conversation I did not feel was necessary to have at that time, that would just made us both uncomfortable.
She is in her 50's btw.
Are you looking for something to make your spouse take sides?
See, I would see it as an opportunity to throw it back in her face. "Why on Earth would ever want to go to Australia, Italy or England?! There's an entire world of interesting places to see, and you ask why I'd go those those countries? Why would I waste my time doing that?!" Etc etc. Get her all riled up and crazy. MILs have a penchant for being insane anyway, may as well help her along!
That is why the questioning was strange. I never questioned her on traveling to Italy once she showed me all her pictures and her scrapbook and etc, (she took that trip literally years ago and I did not ask to see her travels) but yet traveling to Korea was a really strange and bizarre thought that needed to be questioned multiple times. It is no different than traveling to any other country. It is another country on the globe.
I never forced my interests on her. She was interrogating me on why I was traveling to Korea. I felt I was giving her legitimate reasons on why I was going. I never shoved my heritage and culture in her face, not even once.
I understand not looking up my relatives made no sense to her, but that was a long, personal conversation I did not feel was necessary to have at that time, that would just made us both uncomfortable.
She is in her 50's btw.
Did you consider just asking her kindly why she is uncomfortable with you traveling to Korea? she might have a reason that is real to her, even if it is unfathomable to you. You will never know unless you just ask. Open minded.
You've been on the defensive all this time. I don't mean you should bo O-ffensive, but if she really has a point of view, she might like being giving a legit opportunity to share it.
I do believe that you are seeing this from YOUR side only, just as she is seeing it from her side.
Maybe she is concerned that one day you will "take" her son (and future grandkids) to a far-off place like Korea.
LOL, I am not a Korean citizen. I am not going to run away and live there. The culture is nothing like American culture. I would question her logic if she ever thought this lol.
Or perhaps I am exposing her son to a culture she is unfamiliar with and it makes her uncomfortable. It is just diversity. We can't live in a bubble.
Did you consider just asking her kindly why she is uncomfortable with you traveling to Korea? she might have a reason that is real to her, even if it is unfathomable to you. You will never know unless you just ask. Open minded.
You've been on the defensive all this time. I don't mean you should bo O-ffensive, but if she really has a point of view, she might like being giving a legit opportunity to share it.
You are correct, I have been on the defensive. I would be willing to hear what her concerns are, and dispel those beliefs, especially if they are false. Where she grew up there were not any Asians and maybe there is some prejudice due to non-exposure.
Are you looking for something to make your spouse take sides?
I am not sure if you are thinking I am just looking for something to be offended about, that is not my style. I just feel questioning me on my heritage and why I am going to that country and not a nice place Italy or Australia was not very polite of her. If it was once, I wouldn't have minded. But three times later, I did mind.
But I believe I sat down with her before and gave her my ethnic breakdown, my mother, my brother over some tea and shared that with her. I told her how important this is to me and how this is not something I share due to judgmental views. I felt her coming back with these questions yet again was a slap in the face and was pretty hurtful. It was like she was never listening to me.
LOL, I am not a Korean citizen. I am not going to run away and live there. The culture is nothing like American culture. I would question her logic if she ever thought this lol.
She doesn't know that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jabber_wocky
Or perhaps I am exposing her son to a culture she is unfamiliar with and it makes her uncomfortable. It is just diversity. We can't live in a bubble.
I didn't say you were a Korean citizen. You don't have to be a citizen to live there.
You do seem to have a very quick trigger on this as well. This:
Quote:
Originally Posted by jabber_wocky
You are correct, I have been on the defensive. I would be willing to hear what her concerns are, and dispel those beliefs, especially if they are false. Where she grew up there were not any Asians and maybe there is some prejudice due to non-exposure.
... is the most sensible thing you've said, honestly. She is who she is, and the positive thing about this situation is that she is asking questions. She COULD just ignore you completely.
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