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A 20 year friendship has ended and he is getting married. He knows I want nothing to do with him anymore. I'm not bitter or even responding to his attempts to manipulate me by sending letters and attempts to friend every small acquaintance he's made by knowing me.
Recently, he's taken to writing letters in the mail which I throw away. He is getting married and wants an rsvp.
Should I return the rsvp as a polite gesture to perhaps get him to leave me alone?
Do I throw it in the garbage? If I do that, he's probably going to keep writing.
Try writing "RETURN TO SENDER" on the mail. Otherwise, just keep doing what you are doing. He will eventually have to get the hint.
A 20 year friendship has ended and he is getting married. He knows I want nothing to do with him anymore. I'm not bitter or even responding to his attempts to manipulate me by sending letters and attempts to friend every small acquaintance he's made by knowing me.
Recently, he's taken to writing letters in the mail which I throw away. He is getting married and wants an rsvp.
Should I return the rsvp as a polite gesture to perhaps get him to leave me alone?
Do I throw it in the garbage? If I do that, he's probably going to keep writing.
Yes if you did not make it clear that he should leave you alone then do it. All the best and be careful with this kind of creepy men.
RSVP (that's the polite thing to do) and then ignore the other approaches. Block his number. Remove him from FB and block him. Don't answer his letters - mark them Return To Sender. Document anything that feels like stalking. If you are worried for your safety, that's another situation altogether, but you can start with these simple steps.
Moderator cut: orphaned quote and response
I've had to deal with an ex who WAS a threat and who began by calls, then emails, then when I blocked those, he started with the snail mail. When I just threw those in the trash unopened, and he realized he wasn't going to get a response that way, he began physically stalking me. So yeah - like I said, I'm just covering that possibility. I know you don't think he's a threat now and maybe he never will be - but it's definitely within the realm of possibility with this sort of relentless personality.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 01-12-2016 at 09:48 AM..
I've had to deal with an ex who WAS a threat and who began by calls, then emails, then when I blocked those, he started with the snail mail. When I just threw those in the trash unopened, and he realized he wasn't going to get a response that way, he began physically stalking me. So yeah - like I said, I'm just covering that possibility. I know you don't think he's a threat now and maybe he never will be - but it's definitely within the realm of possibility with this sort of relentless personality.
I've known him for 20 years and what he's capable of. We had a sit down over this already. He's a pest and the reminders are somewhat painful than anything. He was like a brother to me and it's messing with my ability to move on. This was over a year ago.
He is now asking other friends to ask me questions such as "did I get the letter."
It's juvenile and I'm just over it. I want to take the high road and have some class and not stoop to his level.
Even after asking him to cease all communication, he sends rsvp for a wedding. He knows I'm polite and I know the rules about such things.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 01-12-2016 at 09:49 AM..
I've known him for 20 years and what he's capable of. We had a sit down over this already. He's a pest and the reminders are somewhat painful than anything. He was like a brother to me and it's messing with my ability to move on. This was over a year ago.
He is now asking other friends to ask me questions such as "did I get the letter."
It's juvenile and I'm just over it. I want to take the high road and have some class and not stoop to his level.
Even after asking him to cease all communication, he sends rsvp for a wedding. He knows I'm polite and I know the rules about such things.
I'd just send the RSVP with no note at all, and ignore all other communications from him. Maybe you're making this too personal - it's common to send wedding invitations to wide swaths of friends, coworkers, relatives, etc. and expecting an RSVP is understandable.
Maybe he shouldn't have sent you a wedding invitation but maybe there's simply not that much to it.
I'd just send the RSVP with no note at all, and ignore all other communications from him. Maybe you're making this too personal - it's common to send wedding invitations to wide swaths of friends, coworkers, relatives, etc. and expecting an RSVP is understandable.
Maybe he shouldn't have sent you a wedding invitation but maybe there's simply not that much to it.
The last letter said that I should expect the rsvp.
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