Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We went to CAPS here in town to get a cat. As we were walking past the cages, looking at the cats, a small white paw came out and tapped my arm as I walked by. I took a second look and asked for the volunteer to open her cage. He did. She was so adorable and loving, but so nervous that we could hear her heart pounding. The second I loosened my hold, she leapt back into the cage. The volunteer explained that they become so used to their cages, that they fear leaving them. It's their comfort zone. I started to walk by the cage, when that little paw came back out and tapped me again. We took her home. Her "cage" is now a house, where she rules and is in charge of her human slaves. That cage at CAPS would seem horrible to her now.
Daisy, you are like my cat. Your comfort zone is a small trailer, filled with people. The adults abuse you and take advantage of you. They let you use your money for food and they cash in. You are the only adult working. They will gladly work you into the ground, and heap abuse on you while doing it. You will never have a real life. You will die, while never having lived.
You have to break free of the comfort zone. The posters here have all been saying the same thing - to leave that horrible environment and aim for a better future. You have to quit giving excuses and do that.
I had a very, very bad mother, also. Once I got out in the real world, I was amazed at the mother substitutes that became available to me. They are wonderful women and wonderful examples. People are out there - maybe not in your small town, where no doubt people look aghast at your family, but elsewhere.
From the sounds of things, there may indeed come a day when you will need to care for your nephew and likely his sibling as well. It happens all the time. Several families in our community have taken in grandchildren, nieces, and nephews who ended up in the foster care system.
You will need a decent job and home they can grow up in where they are safe and protected.
Move on and build a life so that you are ready to do that when the time comes.
Our relationship just makes me sad. Lately at work I get stressed out and on my breaks sometimes I cry in the restroom. The way she treats me gets to me
When you move on with your life, she will fuss and carry on. Change is difficult and it would be great if she could be there for you.
Eventually, she might be. Hard to say. But sounds as if she is unable to be there for you now.
One thing your moving out will do, is that she will need to spend more of her disability check on food and babysitting for your nephew, meaning less money to spend on alcohol.
OP Please get out of that house. I grew up in a toxic house and i know its hard! Trust me.. I had to make many tough decisions to better myself... i lived in a domestic violence shelter at 18 to get away from my family (i had been in a violent relationship beforehand so they let me in) Anyways because of that decision.. leaving.. i started my own life. This was 6 years ago. I lived there for 3 weeks-month and then signed up for college. I rec'd an associates degree, moved to the city and started my life an hour from my family. We get along better now that there is some space between us. I visit them once a week. You HAVE to be selfish to get out of there... clearly your family seems very selfish so why shouldn't you. leave, go get an education and begin your life. Where do u see yourself in 5 years? Still in that toxic house, paying the way for 3 adults to survive. Not cool. Counseling may also be beneficial or a church, support group ect. you need people face to face to help you through this. I will be praying for you!
Hes eight months old. No shes not six months, she recently found out shes preg. When she was pregnant w/ my nephew her husband was out if the picture and that's why she moved in. Then he came back around and now they are back together but still on and off, they fight & so I never know where they are relationship wise but he has been living here
Ok well how can I better my relationship w/ my mom if I am putting myself first? Me moving out is going to make her mad. We already don't have the best relationship even though I honestly try. I would want her blessing to make this move but I know I wont get it. Ill move out but I want her to love me again. She hasnt told me she loves me or is proud of me since I was little. I don't know what happened to our relationship but I am scared it will get worse once I move out. I have struggled lately and I feel like sometimes I need my mom
Our relationship just makes me sad. Lately at work I get stressed out and on my breaks sometimes I cry in the restroom. The way she treats me gets to me
What happened to your relationship is that she probably replaced you with a bottle of booze. What you really need to come to grips with is that you love your mother, but it's up to her to prove that the feeling is mutual. You're not letting her down, she's letting you down and she has to decide if she wants a daughter or to just get high. If she can't fight the demons in her life, and you go on to raise your nephews and perhaps have your own kids, would you want them around that environment?
Have you considered the military? I had several friends growing up who were able to escape horrible home conditions that way.
You are taken completely away from the toxic people around you, provided with room and board, and taught valuable life and job skills that can help you transition into a much more stable life.
Have you considered the military? I had several friends growing up who were able to escape horrible home conditions that way.
You are taken completely away from the toxic people around you, provided with room and board, and taught valuable life and job skills that can help you transition into a much more stable life.
No I couldnt do that. I dont like yelling or the military life. I dont think I would be good at it, im super emotional. I wouldnt last. I respect ppl tht do it and serve but its not forme.
For now I'm just in the backyard. I have a tent and lots of blankets. I just dont want to sleep in the house anymore. To much drama goes on at night. I checked on the baby before I came out here and thatll be it until morning when I go and wake the kids up.
I am going to probably leave. Just gotta figure some stuff out. All this is making me sick to my stomach but i guess ill be doing the right thing
So sad that you are the only upstanding, responsible person in that house.
Well, according to her, anyway...it is clear from reading every post of hers that she has her issues also.
Quote:
Originally Posted by upsadaisy
I asked her an hour ago about it and her first answer was "would I get to keep my stamps?".
Egads, daisy, DO NOT let any of them know about your plans. They will emotionally blackmail and abuse you until you are black and blue and can't even THINK about moving out!!
Please, please, find a respectable, mature, stable adult to help you (pastor, pastor's wife, Sunday School teacher?) and make your plans and get OUT. Yesterday.
Did you see the posts about trying to find an elderly person who needs a companion/caretaker? (ask around at your church) My niece, who is very much like you emotionally, started caretaking for a disabled girl and she LOVES it. You may even be able to do this and still keep your cashier job if the person doesn't need around-the-clock care.
Also, I saw something about your sister thinking that all the time you are spending posting on here is about you talking to a guy....if you really are talking to a guy online right now....STOP IT! You need to get yourself straightened out first, and then you can meet guys. BUT NOT ONLINE!
It will seem like getting out didn't do any good at first, and will probably even seem for a while that it made things worse, but that will pass and then you will be able to get your feet on solid emotional ground and look back and see that it was the only thing you could do and it was for the best of both you AND your siblings/nephew.
Last edited by Luvvarkansas; 02-26-2016 at 10:25 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
