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But I meant to say them thinks, why should one apologies just so they feel good but still hate you, it's like this political correctness if you just someone feelings , they can sue. I'm sorry that you are apiece if crap, I'm sorry that your are worthless. Why should I care about their feelings, I want them to feel bad, maybe they think next time before they screw ip
You might have to provide an example of what you're talking about.
Why want an apology? If you are confident and true in your dealings, that is all you need to know.
I guess if apologizing means anything, it is meaningful to the one who did wrong. It changes nothing to the person who was wronged.
If wronged by another, did you not know that people can make mistakes before the incident? Did you not know that some people are mean? That some people lack good judgment?
Why want an apology? If you are confident and true in your dealings, that is all you need to know.
I guess if apologizing means anything, it is meaningful to the one who did wrong. It changes nothing to the person who was wronged.
If wronged by another, did you not know that people can make mistakes before the incident? Did you not know that some people are mean? That some people lack good judgment?
I'm in the "what's done, is done" camp.
I somewhat disagree and here's why....in my mind, (and this is just me) if a person comes to me and says they are sorry, that means a lot....it mean's they are taking ownership in their part of the problem, and also means, that I'm a valuable friend, wife, mother, etc....so much so, that they wish to change things and make them better by discussing it. We all have a hand in an disagreement, argument, and it's just the right thing to do.
I have friends that have never apologized, never have come over to discuss things, or called me to discuss things, who I no longer consider good friends. I'm not angry, and if they need something I'll be there for them, but will never trust them with my heart...b/c they hurt me, and I probably hurt them. But by not saying "I'm sorry, leaves a door open for them to do it again".
Why want an apology? If you are confident and true in your dealings, that is all you need to know.
I guess if apologizing means anything, it is meaningful to the one who did wrong. It changes nothing to the person who was wronged.
If wronged by another, did you not know that people can make mistakes before the incident? Did you not know that some people are mean? That some people lack good judgment?
I'm in the "what's done, is done" camp.
Does this mean that if you accidently bump into someone and spill her coffee on her blouse, you won't bother with an apology?
Fake apologies are absolutely worse. People should apologize if they recognize they wronged or hurt someone and they actually feel sorry for doing so. That's what an apology means.
I hate it when I see parents forcing their kids to apologize even though the kid obviously does not feel contrite at all. What does that teach them? To be insincere and go through the motions even with a bad attitude.
Teach empathy instead and someone will feel compelled to apologize because they will recognize when they did something that negatively affects someone else.
Fake apologies are absolutely worse. People should apologize if they recognize they wronged or hurt someone and they actually feel sorry for doing so. That's what an apology means.
I hate it when I see parents forcing their kids to apologize even though the kid obviously does not feel contrite at all. What does that teach them? To be insincere and go through the motions even with a bad attitude.
Teach empathy instead and someone will feel compelled to apologize because they will recognize when they did something that negatively affects someone else.
^ I don't think this is what an apology teaches kids at all. Rather, it teaches them that there are consequences for their actions and it also "forces" them to face the hurt they may have caused. Sometimes we lash out and hurt (on purpose, or not) and because we don't have to see the person's face, we don't/can't empathize. Kids need to gradually learn empathy in their young years or they may never develop it at all.
Look at forums as an example. You can clearly see the people who learned that it's okay to hurt as long as you don't have to look at the person's face afterward. Perhaps these people were never taught as children that their actions do have consequences, whether for good or for ill, and that the person they're hurting is just that, a person, a human being.
^ I don't think this is what an apology teaches kids at all. Rather, it teaches them that there are consequences for their actions and it also "forces" them to face the hurt they may have caused. Sometimes we lash out and hurt (on purpose, or not) and because we don't have to see the person's face, we don't/can't empathize. Kids need to gradually learn empathy in their young years or they may never develop it at all.
Look at forums as an example. You can clearly see the people who learned that it's okay to hurt as long as you don't have to look at the person's face afterward. Perhaps these people were never taught as children that their actions do have consequences, whether for good or for ill, and that the person they're hurting is just that, a person, a human being.
^ I don't think this is what an apology teaches kids at all. Rather, it teaches them that there are consequences for their actions and it also "forces" them to face the hurt they may have caused. Sometimes we lash out and hurt (on purpose, or not) and because we don't have to see the person's face, we don't/can't empathize. Kids need to gradually learn empathy in their young years or they may never develop it at all.
This is true. Otherwise, how do they even know what they did was socially unacceptable?
This is true. Otherwise, how do they even know what they did was socially unacceptable?
I'm not sure how "don't force an insincere apology" turns into "don't teach your kids empathy, that their behavior affects others and about what is socially unacceptable."
How incredibly odd that people would associated complete lack of parenting with not forcing your kids to apologize. That is very different than even teaching your kids they SHOULD apologize, let alone all this other basic parenting 101 stuff posters brought up.
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