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So... My current roommate and I get along well, which is a relief after a series of roommates from hell and beyond. When he first moved in, he didn't have a job so I cut him some slack. We live in a small town in the middle of nowhere and the local economy was heavily dependent on the energy industry. Well, when the price of oil went down, all the energy companies moved out and 200 people alone were laid off by a major outfit, never mind the people working for smaller energy companies. So, fast-forward a year to the present. Despite sending out tons of applications, my roommate is still unemployed. He's 55, has health problems and the field he worked in has been suffering from government cutbacks. I'm not surprised that he's been having difficulties. The problem is that I can't afford to continue to carry him. My own income is pathetic - a small disability check from social security.
Now, there is help out there that he could apply for. For example, he’s a vet and the local VA has a number of programs to help vets in his position. However, my roommate won’t go down there and talk with them. His excuse is that he only got a general discharge from the army and they won’t help vets with general discharges. Well, I’m an army brat and that didn’t sound right to me, so I did some checking on the Internet. Everything I found said he’s still eligible for help from the VA except that he can’t get an education loan. BFD. Then one day I had an appointment in the same building where the local VA rep works. Out of curiosity, I stopped and asked him about the general discharge thing, naming no names. The rep said he could help and to tell my friend that he should drop by. Well, my roommate still refuses to go down there and talk with anyone.
The same with a state sponsored program called Senior Employment Resources (SER). I know the lady who runs the program, and she’s very nice. What they do is provide employment with non-profits for people over 55 who have been jobless for a while. The idea is to give older job seekers training and job experience. It’s temporary (2 years) and they don’t pay a fortune, but it sure is better than nothing at all. In addition, it puts a person back out in the community where they can network and maybe even find something permanent. My roommate won’t apply there either because he won’t take government assistance. Well, that’s very noble of him, but it doesn’t pay the electric bill.
When I ask him about going down and checking these and other similar programs out, he just gets mad and goes into his room and shuts the door. I don’t want to kick him out on the street, but I’ve never seen such a hardheaded individual in my life. The thought of going on the “dole” hurts his pride, but the Rambler dole program is becoming exhausted. Any ideas on how to get him to come around would be greatly appreciated.
The same with a state sponsored program called Senior Employment Resources (SER). I know the lady who runs the program, and she’s very nice. What they do is provide employment with non-profits for people over 55 who have been jobless for a while. The idea is to give older job seekers training and job experience. It’s temporary (2 years) and they don’t pay a fortune, but it sure is better than nothing at all. In addition, it puts a person back out in the community where they can network and maybe even find something permanent. My roommate won’t apply there either because he won’t take government assistance. Well, that’s very noble of him, but it doesn’t pay the electric bill.
If it's getting paid to do a job, how in the hell is that government assistance?
OP, you're enabling his laziness. Give him a deadline, and tell him to get out. Serve eviction papers if necessary. If he ends up on the streets, that's his own fault, not yours. It's gone on far longer than it should have. Nut up and get him out.
Tell him that the VA is not welfare - he earned those services.
When you say 'he refuses', what do you mean? Does he flat out say no? Let him know that is not an option. Tell him point blank that you cannot afford to cover both of you and he needs to get a job ASAP.
OP, you really go out of your way help people. Perhaps it's time that you start helping those who could appreciate it?
Your roommate has shown that he's not going to come around, especially since there's no sense of urgency to get his ish together. No sense of urgency because he can expect you to carry his load.
At this point, you have to decide what YOU can do. If you don't want him out on the streets, there's a good possibility he'll stay on the Rambler dole for quite awhile. Stop enabling now.
Last edited by Inkpoe; 05-18-2016 at 02:03 PM..
Reason: misspellings
No rent payment- out you go. Go to the real estate section of city data. At the top of the rent section there is a sticky on various rent laws in the states. CO is # 27 on the sticky pages. Read it and apply it to him.
He's got you figured out you know. He won't accept government assistance because it hurts his pride ? Yet he thinks nothing of totally living off you. No pride there, eh ? You're an enabler and he knows it.
Figure out how much you want to charge for rent. Give him a month to get a job with the not for profits. Let him know that if he's not employed by then, then he has to leave. Show him the state law- start the eviction process now- you can always terminate it when he gets a job.
Stop trying to be nice. It won't work with this guy. He's been giving you a run around for what, a year now? It won't change. He has no respect for you and is using you. You have to decide if you want a paying room mate or if you want to care for yourself and him on your income forever.
What is your current living situation? Are you in a house that you own, or an apartment that you're renting?
Tell your roommate that you enjoy living with him, but you simply don't make enough money to carry the load by yourself. Tell him he either needs to start kicking in his share by "X" date or you will do one of two things: (1) if it's an apartment, you will move out when your lease is up and leave him holding the bag, and let the landlord deal with it; or (2) if it's your house, you will have to have him evicted so that you can find someone else to live there and help with the expenses.
wouldn't be the first person to claim they're a vet and they're not
This. He's probably not a vet. His excuses don't make sense. Kind of like someone who claims they got laid off in a downsizing and won't file for UE benefits that they're entitled to, because they feel like they're taking a hand out. When the real story is they were fired for cause and can't get UE benefits.
OP, unless you have proof he is a vet(as in photos of him in uniform, paperwork) he may be telling you a tale.
No rent payment- out you go. Go to the real estate section of city data. At the top of the rent section there is a sticky on various rent laws in the states. CO is # 27 on the sticky pages. Read it and apply it to him.
He's got you figured out you know. He won't accept government assistance because it hurts his pride ? Yet he thinks nothing of totally living off you. No pride there, eh ? You're an enabler and he knows it.
Figure out how much you want to charge for rent. Give him a month to get a job with the not for profits. Let him know that if he's not employed by then, then he has to leave. Show him the state law- start the eviction process now- you can always terminate it when he gets a job.
Stop trying to be nice. It won't work with this guy. He's been giving you a run around for what, a year now? It won't change. He has no respect for you and is using you. You have to decide if you want a paying room mate or if you want to care for yourself and him on your income forever.
He is definitely using you! You are also enabling his behavior! Give him 30 days to shape up or get out.
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