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We were out celebrating my cousin's birthday at a nice restaurant tonight and I noticed a negative vibe from my mom, aunt, and other cousin. Come to find out it was because they didn't want to be there because my cousin never calls any of them or responds to their text messages. So they felt like it was no point in them being there celebrating her birthday. So that's why I was feeling that negative vibe during dinner. So I am mad enough now to see them any of them at all during at the remainder of this year.
I guess I feel like it was a wasted evening because I was looking forward to seeing everyone tonight not get this strange negative vibe with a lot of silence. Part of me wanted to leave and go home because it just felt so awkward all night at dinner. I never felt like that around my family before and just don't feel the need to see them again this year.
If they were so mad at the cousin why did they meet to celebrate her birthday?
Good question. Maybe because they didn't want to hurt her feelings. One of my aunts didn't show up at all and looks like everyone should have done the same thing. I tried explaining to my mom if you want to communicate with her you have to do through <edit>social media not phone or text.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-21-2016 at 07:30 AM..
Reason: FB posts are not allowed
Good question. Maybe because they didn't want to hurt her feelings. One of my aunts didn't show up at all and looks like everyone should have done the same thing. I tried explaining to my mom if you want to communicate with her you have to do through facebook not phone or text.
Speaking as someone who has not posted on social media in over 18 months (and the time before was almost three years ago) nor has ever used text messages, if my relatives ever wanted to communicate with me they had better use a phone or email.
Everyone is different.
Does that mean that the cousin does not answer her phone or return phone calls? Or just that she keeps everyone updated on her life through her posts on social media?
Speaking as someone who has not posted on Facebook in over 18 months (and the time before was almost three years ago) nor has ever used text messages, if my relatives ever wanted to communicate with me they had better use a phone or email.
I also tried to explain to my mom that when texting someone you must say to yourself
1. Is this text relevant to the person?
2. Is this something to respond to?
Not just sending someone a photo of a celebrity who just had a birthday. My mom doesn't understand that texting is not instant messaging and a response may not come until the person gets ready to respond. I also explained to her that I have sent text to friends that never got a response and I was like..."maybe it was not that interesting. lol
Relationships are a two way street. If only one party puts effort into it, it will fail. It seems that your cousin isn't putting much effort into her relationships with the older generation of your family.
We were out celebrating my cousin's birthday at a nice restaurant tonight and I noticed a negative vibe from my mom, aunt, and other cousin. Come to find out it was because they didn't want to be there because my cousin never calls any of them or responds to their text messages. So they felt like it was no point in them being there celebrating her birthday. So that's why I was feeling that negative vibe during dinner. So I am mad enough now to see them any of them at all during at the remainder of this year.
I guess I feel like it was a wasted evening because I was looking forward to seeing everyone tonight not get this strange negative vibe with a lot of silence. Part of me wanted to leave and go home because it just felt so awkward all night at dinner. I never felt like that around my family before and just don't feel the need to see them again this year.
So you're mad at some people because they didn't behave the way you wanted them to?
Isn't that like being mad at somebody because they never call or respond to your texts?
Here's the deal: sometimes you need to get together with family members regardless of how you feel.
Go through the motions, act nice, and try to create a semblance of connectedness. If everyone would do this over the course of their lives, we'd have a more cordial relationship with these people. Sometimes it matters more to others than it does to you.
Good question. Maybe because they didn't want to hurt her feelings. One of my aunts didn't show up at all and looks like everyone should have done the same thing. I tried explaining to my mom if you want to communicate with her you have to do through facebook not phone or text.
Sorry but that would be unacceptable for me.
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