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Relationships are a two way street. If only one party puts effort into it, it will fail. It seems that your cousin isn't putting much effort into her relationships with the older generation of your family.
She should step up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by renter16
I also tried to explain to my mom that when texting someone you must say to yourself
1. Is this text relevant to the person?
2. Is this something to respond to?
Not just sending someone a photo of a celebrity who just had a birthday. My mom doesn't understand that texting is not instant messaging and a response may not come until the person gets ready to respond. I also explained to her that I have sent text to friends that never got a response and I was like..."maybe it was not that interesting. lol
While it is probably true that the younger generation (the cousin) needs to step-up her communication, frankly anyone (the mom) who is upset because someone does not respond to her communication of simply sending a "photo of celebrity who just had a birthday" is in the wrong, too.
Over the years I have probably received hundreds of those chain mail type of emails "Send this to ten of your friends and watch the amazing results in your life", etc. etc. and I have never even once responding to any of them. To me, just forwarding an email is not communicating.
However, receiving an email like that may jog my memory, "Hey, I haven't called Jenny in a while so I would call her to chat."
Why are you angry at your family? They didn't actually "do" anything to you.
Because of their negative energy I did not enjoy my time like I normally do. It wasn't until I arrived home that I found out why everyone was acting like they didn't want to be there from my mother.
That's how I been communicating with her for 5 years because she is not a phone person or text. So when I chat with her it's face to face or facebook or text if there is something really interesting going on.
My mom has a habit of sending text messages like they are emails which is why she doesn't get a response. Text are not supposed to be 2 paragraphs because not many people want to read all of that. Like right now I want to tell a friend of mine all about this awful dinner but I will wait until she calls me because it's too much for a text message.
Because of their negative energy I did not enjoy my time like I normally do. It wasn't until I arrived home that I found out why everyone was acting like they didn't want to be there from my mother.
So you gained a bit of insight and empathy for your family members who felt jaded. That is good to acknowledge they have feelings too.
put on that social grace to alleviate those vibes..
While it is probably true that the younger generation (the cousin) needs to step-up her communication, frankly anyone (the mom) who is upset because someone does not respond to her communication of simply sending a "photo of celebrity who just had a birthday" is in the wrong, too.
Over the years I have probably received hundreds of those chain mail type of emails "Send this to ten of your friends and watch the amazing results in your life", etc. etc. and I have never even once responding to any of them. To me, just forwarding an email is not communicating.
However, receiving an email like that may jog my memory, "Hey, I haven't called Jenny in a while so I would call her to chat."
I tried explaining to my mom that texting is not email and she needs to stop sending those celebrity birthdays in a text message. It just gives off the vibe that she is bored and has nothing to do so she sends stuff like that. And she is retired now so that is a big reason why she sends text like that and gets mad when she doesn't get a response. I told her she didn't act like this 15 years ago about hearing back from family maybe because she was younger.
So, your mother, aunt and other cousin are feeling hurt at being regularly snubbed by your cousin and this resulted in an awkward get together where your cousin didn't do anything to try to make things right.
Now you intend to snub your mother, aunt and other cousin too for the rest of the year to hurt them as well because you didn't enjoy your evening?
If you cared for these people, why would you want to hurt them?
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