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If, as you said, you're sure that he didn't mean anything by it, why are you so annoyed? He wasn't deliberately trying to insult you, and probably just thought his suggestion to ask your father would be the fastest and most convenient thing to do. Tbh you sound overly thin-skinned and quick to take offense.
I think a whole lot more would have to go into my thought process before I arrived at "I'm offended and it must be sexism."
Is my Dad known for being Mr-super-handy-appliance expert? Then no, I would not be offended; I'd take this as a nod to my Dad's expertise. I'm a woman and my 73 year old dad is sort-of expert when it comes to cars. If anyone who knew my dad suggested that I ask him about my car, I would not be offended. I'd probably have already thought of it myself.
Does my relative know that my Dad likes to feel useful? My Dad, since retiring, misses being useful. So I'll often call him with "Dad questions" that I know I could get answers to on my own. He likes that he can still help his 40-something "little girl." I like to do that for him, and someone else who cares about my Dad might like that I do that for him. so if I had an uncle who told me to ask my Dad something like that, I'd just take it as "throw your Dad a bone" or "have you called your old man lately?"
If my relative significantly older than me? You said he's 50, but how old are you? If you are in your 20s, it's pretty common for older relatives to see you as a "kid" even when you no longer are.
Does my relative just say wacky or annoying stuff all the time? Many of us just have relatives that either aren't that bright, aren't that aware, or whose statements are often just stupid or don't make sense. If so, what's the point of getting yourself offended? <snip> Do I live with my Dad? If I live two states away from my Dad, that's one thing. But if I live with him and he might be sitting right there in the room, it might just feel logical for someone to say "ask him." And this goes back to the age thing, if you are younger AND still live with your parents, then it's more likely that older relatives will still see you as "a kid."
Anyway, there are probably 20 other reasons he might have said it, that come before sexism. And even if it were sexism, it's your choice how, and how much, to let it affect you.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 11-16-2016 at 06:09 AM..
Reason: deleted the orphaned response to sexual preference
If I gave a young relative or friend advice and she suggested I was sexist for doing so:
1. That would be the last time I gave her advice
2. I'd be less inclined to spend time with her in the future
Life's way too short for this crap. Assume the best of people rather than the worst and life will be a lot more enjoyable both for you and the people you know.
I think a whole lot more would have to go into my thought process before I arrived at "I'm offended and it must be sexism."
Is my Dad known for being Mr-super-handy-appliance expert? Then no, I would not be offended; I'd take this as a nod to my Dad's expertise. I'm a woman and my 73 year old dad is sort-of expert when it comes to cars. If anyone who knew my dad suggested that I ask him about my car, I would not be offended. I'd probably have already thought of it myself.
Does my relative know that my Dad likes to feel useful? My Dad, since retiring, misses being useful. So I'll often call him with "Dad questions" that I know I could get answers to on my own. He likes that he can still help his 40-something "little girl." I like to do that for him, and someone else who cares about my Dad might like that I do that for him. so if I had an uncle who told me to ask my Dad something like that, I'd just take it as "throw your Dad a bone" or "have you called your old man lately?"
If my relative significantly older than me? You said he's 50, but how old are you? If you are in your 20s, it's pretty common for older relatives to see you as a "kid" even when you no longer are.
Does my relative just say wacky or annoying stuff all the time? Many of us just have relatives that either aren't that bright, aren't that aware, or whose statements are often just stupid or don't make sense. If so, what's the point of getting yourself offended?
<snip>
Do I live with my Dad? If I live two states away from my Dad, that's one thing. But if I live with him and he might be sitting right there in the room, it might just feel logical for someone to say "ask him." And this goes back to the age thing, if you are younger AND still live with your parents, then it's more likely that older relatives will still see you as "a kid."
Anyway, there are probably 20 other reasons he might have said it, that come before sexism. And even if it were sexism, it's your choice how, and how much, to let it affect you.
Great points!
Last edited by Miss Blue; 11-16-2016 at 06:11 AM..
I'd let it ride. I get how it might be a bit insulting, but I'm sure it wasn't meant in that spirit. Stewing over it for 5 days seems to be a bit much to me, but whatever.
Does your father know extensive knowledge on this topic? How do you know its sexist? There are too many unknowns for me to get too worked up about, tbh.
time to put your big girl shoes on and go buy that pink appliance
seriously, let it go
thank him for his concern.... he might mean well..
the important thing is this....if you are comfortable in your own skin,,,,this silly stuff rolls right off you
he may still look at you as a young girl......and he means well ..
you go all out feminazi on him.. you may win the battle ...but will feel bad for a longggg time
do your own thing and smile.....
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If this is your primary complaint then you should consider yourself lucky. You are way too sensitive.
