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Im working on Christmas this year but I get off early enough to do something. I wanted to do stuff with my family but for the 3rd yr in a row everyone seems to have made other plans. The problem is that for thanksgiving and Christmas my sister and her husband and my nephew go his moms house and my mom normally goes too with my siblings. The issue is that I cant ever go bc it's two hours away and I would have to catch a ride with them to go, but I can't since I work on holidays most of the time. Normally I just work and come and eat something at home. It just gets pretty lonely though
So maybe I watch too many Hallmark movies lol. But I always thought that maybe someone might invite me to their place for Christmas or Thanksgiving? Like, take me in and invite me for food and to experience the holidays with a family for a change... I have, once again, been dropping hints that I'm going to be alone for this Christmas and I have been mentioning this to people at my church.!So far no one has invited me. And I would never invite myself because I guess that would be rude.
I don't know, to me it seems like people get so... exclusive around the holidays. Its like they invite family but that's it. I get that holidays are family time but what about with friends and those in need? Do you feel like people are more about inviting family only to holiday get togethers? Or is it just me?
Those people are jerks. The minute someone hinted or suggested they may be alone on Christmas, an invitation would be extended to them. You're absolutely invited to come to my place. It's in Texas, though.
I agree with the original poster. Maybe I'm living too vicariously through old TV programming, but I think of people like Wilona Woods in "Good Times" and the attitude of people like "The Waltons." With the former, Wilona Woods was not related at all to the Evans family, but she was welcome anytime as a "friend of the family," they would have almost been insulted if she had not stopped by on holidays because "I don't want to intrude." The Waltons were very welcoming of people besides their family, and this was during the Great Depression when times were hard and it would've been so easy to not want to share their food with "outsiders."
I can say that's truly how I look at it. If you're a good friend of mine and you stop by our home on the holidays, I'm not going to get "short" with you and say "I'm with my FAMILY right now" like I'm Kate Middleton and this is the Buckingham Palace and you "violated protocol" or some nonsense. If my daughter's friend, she's 9, were to stop by on such a day, my daughter would be delighted and we'd be delighted to have her. Same goes with my son's friends.
It's called HOSPITALITY. Screw "boundaries." People should be more hospitable, especially during the holidays.
So maybe I watch too many Hallmark movies lol. But I always thought that maybe someone might invite me to their place for Christmas or Thanksgiving? Like, take me in and invite me for food and to experience the holidays with a family for a change... I have, once again, been dropping hints that I'm going to be alone for this Christmas and I have been mentioning this to people at my church.!So far no one has invited me. And I would never invite myself because I guess that would be rude.
Did you mention it to the pastor? There's time yet. He could intercede on your behalf or have you to dinner with his family.
I think most people will do the right thing if they know what it is.
we are very conscious of singles, or those away from family during the holidays- everyone is welcome- had an impromptu holiday dinner the night after thanksgiving (it stormed day of and a lot of people were cooped up in their homes)- it was huge- a couple people came who just happened to be hanging out with the friends we made plans with - my mom and brother were here too- it was all good- people brought wine and salad and appetizers and helped clean up-
it was really fun-
holidays are for sharing
(my significant others first Christmas he can remember was in Germany- Nuremberg which is known as the Christmas city over there- and its one of his most cherished memories, he loves Christmas!)..
yea if you were on the left coast over here, you would be welcome here too!
I agree that holidays are for sharing, and no one should ever be alone. However...
My in-laws (late FIL especially) always had "strays" coming to every family holiday event (including birthdays) they hosted. They were always my FIL's "conversion" projects...someone he would work on incessantly to get them to join the Seventh Day Adventist Church. These people were like a revolving door...he'd have a new target he'd be really excited about, then when they wouldn't join the church, or joined and then quit, or didn't live up to his/its rigid expectations, he'd drop them like a hot potato and they'd never be seen or mentioned again.
I never agreed to invite the "strays" to holidays at MY home, although they'd always try to kind of "push" these people on DH and myself (hoping we'd get the message and join the church, I guess, which we never did). Inevitably, family functions would involve a lot of "inside" religious/church talk, we'd inevitably be invited to the baptism (which we always declined), and DH (a closet agnostic) always ended up feeling like a fifth wheel with his own family. Needless to say, it always made holidays pretty uncomfortable. Then these people would fall from grace and "disappear", until the next "victim" came along.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 12-15-2016 at 01:58 AM..
For a while, my mom's neighbor hosted Christmas eve dinner for neighbors that didn't have big families because they just had one daughter who also just had one child. It's since moved to the daughter's house and some of those neighbors still come. She also picks up other random strays who have been popping by for years and have become regulars.
My family members have all died. Consequently, I'm alone on Thanksgiving and Christmas. That's fine; the last thing I want is to be with outsiders. I'll spend the day with my pets (they're always family ) and have fond memories of days gone by.
Have some food that you ate when you were young. Put up decorations that you have from those days. Play some music or watch a movie that reminds you of Christmas. Do not try to be part of another family because it isn't possible.
I had an aunt who, while her sons were in college, would ask her boys to find out if there were any foreign students who were having to stay on campus for holidays. When they reported back they always got an order to invite at least one apiece, and on one occasion they each brought two foreign students home.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by upsadaisy
Im working on Christmas this year but I get off early enough to do something. I wanted to do stuff with my family but for the 3rd yr in a row everyone seems to have made other plans. The problem is that for thanksgiving and Christmas my sister and her husband and my nephew go his moms house and my mom normally goes too with my siblings. The issue is that I cant ever go bc it's two hours away and I would have to catch a ride with them to go, but I can't since I work on holidays most of the time. Normally I just work and come and eat something at home. It just gets pretty lonely though
So maybe I watch too many Hallmark movies lol. But I always thought that maybe someone might invite me to their place for Christmas or Thanksgiving? Like, take me in and invite me for food and to experience the holidays with a family for a change... I have, once again, been dropping hints that I'm going to be alone for this Christmas and I have been mentioning this to people at my church.!So far no one has invited me. And I would never invite myself because I guess that would be rude.
I don't know, to me it seems like people get so... exclusive around the holidays. Its like they invite family but that's it. I get that holidays are family time but what about with friends and those in need? Do you feel like people are more about inviting family only to holiday get togethers? Or is it just me?
I think people are exclusive with family around the holidays because this is the only time they actually get to see their family. I don't get it, I think it would be easier and cheaper to see family outside holidays as far as PTO and plane tickets.
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) and have fond memories of days gone by. 
