Dinner Party Where Guests Show Up With Their Own Food (person, Christmas)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I had a similar situation in which I am the "guest". Actually it was a group weekend and one particular person had volunteered to prepare dinner for the group. When I asked what was being served "she replied "Mexican". Well I like Mexican, but I don't eat cheese on anything, so I tried to ask for a little more info to make sure that there would have something I could eat that wasn't going to be covered in cheese or use cheese as the primary ingredient. I also volunteered to make something and was basically told to butt out. My questions weren't answered, and when I arrived with a contribution that I knew I could eat, the cook was so rude to me, and basically told me my help wasn't wanted or needed. I don't think that what I did was wrong in any way. I was rebuffed for trying to find out the menu, as if it's some big secret, and then I was treated as if I was rude for taking care of my own needs. I mean excuse me for not wanting to just eat rice while everyone else is having a Mexican feast draped in melted cheese.
I think her reaction was pretty rude. That's assuming you actually explained that you don't eat cheese when you asked about the menu?
........ To actually prepare a soup as the "main course" of a meal is foreign to me. ..........
And here is the opposing viewpoint. Well made clam chowder is a major undertaking. Tomato bisque is not a simple soup, either, and I assume was provided for those who don't like clam chowder.
Clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl is a perfectly legitimate meal, if served with some sort of fresh vegetable salad and and light dessert, perhaps something with fresh fruit.
Clam chowder is a heavy meal, very rich, and it has protein both from the clams and the cream. It's perfectly fine as an offering for a luncheon or a casual dinner meal. And yes, it is actually OK to eat the cream soaked loaf of bread that the soup came in.
Maybe it is regional, but an offering of home made clam chowder in the PNW would bring guests clamoring for an invitation. Especially if the soup maker was well known for their clam chowder.
Good clam chowder is not so much a "soup" as it is a cream based stew.
I don't think that OP's menu is an issue. There was a communication gap and some less than perfect manners on both sides of the fence, but nothing to start a nuclear war about or to cause rifts in the family. Minor and inconsiderate breaches of etiquette on both sides.
I'm not so sure where this checking the menu issue comes form, anyway. Like you think you get to read the menu on the front door and decide whether or not you like the offerings of that restaurant? When you are invited to someone's house, you are not going to a restaurant where you can have it your way. You eat whatever you are given (barring allergies, which should be arranged for in advance) and you enjoy the company
Soup is something you feed to an old person you don't really care about with no teeth but are obligated to feed, or something you only force yourself to eat when your sick with the flu. To actually prepare a soup as the "main course" of a meal is foreign to me. Soup is just to wet your throat with and pretend to like while waiting for the real food to come out. I don't care how good your grandma's special super secret soup recipe is, I can buy better soup for $1 in a can and eat it when I'm drunk and there's no other real easy options.
The guest probably thought they were just taking the easy way out bringing a little simple canned soup for starters, not thinking they would be competing with the "main dish".
I'd feed more to my dog if I asked him over for dinner. I'd at least have the decency to throw some sort of solids in there for the poor guy. "Hey, Here's your liquid dinner. It's basically like chunky soup from the store you could have microwaved at home, only not as good since it's served with uptightness, expectations and with less chunks. Basically it's all liquid with some clams (who likes clams?) thrown in for good measure, hope you get filled up." "Please come to my dinner party, everything will be perfect and I'll be judging you the whole time."
I think her reaction was pretty rude. That's assuming you actually explained that you don't eat cheese when you asked about the menu?
The shadow doesn't say anywhere in his/her post that he explained to the host that he couldn't eat cheese. Perhaps he was a little aggressive in his determination to attend and to have what he wanted to eat. Just because someone has an allergy or food intolerance, it doesn't give them the right to change the menu or to bring their own food. They should simply decline the invitation. It's the polite thing to do.
I think her reaction was pretty rude. That's assuming you actually explained that you don't eat cheese when you asked about the menu?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy2U
Or could it be the rest are just holding up a mirror where the OP's don't look so good? If someone asks for opinions, they'll GET opinions. I am not here to coddle anyone - if someone asks, I'll answer. If the OP won't consider any other opinions and only wants validation, don't ask. It's really pretty simple.
Offering a different way to look at a situation is different than bashing the OP personally.
The shadow doesn't say anywhere in his/her post that he explained to the host that he couldn't eat cheese. Perhaps he was a little aggressive in his determination to attend and to have what he wanted to eat. Just because someone has an allergy or food intolerance, it doesn't give them the right to change the menu or to bring their own food. They should simply decline the invitation. It's the polite thing to do.
Yeah that's why I asked for clarification. If the poster didn't mention about the cheese and just turned up with his/her own food without giving the host a heads up, then I completely understand why the person cooking was annoyed. Personally I wouldn't mind though if somebody had a food intolerance/allergy and told me in advance that they would bring their own food.
I'll admit that I often bring my own food to family gatherings, but part of that is because I'm a vegetarian, and nobody else in my immediate family is.
I'm still not getting what the dire insult is---the compliment is that the guest in OP wanted the company of the host. It wasn't just a free meal she was after or a perfectly planned and executed meal. It is not an insult, even if OP was a world-renowned chef. I think it may have been Brigham Young who said:
“He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool.”
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
