Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
this thread was doing so well until....lets just ignore everything else and keep it on topic...
I loved where this was going.....
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On a more positive note - I felt good establishing healthy boundaries with my ornery mother today.
Long story short, she didn't call me all week, didn't pick up when I called, and didn't return my calls. She then went to church and sat in a completely different area and I couldn't find her so I didn't know she was there. I left and went to her apartment to see if she was there - and she wasn't. While I was there I checked on all her supplies and cat needs and all that. Good to go - I keep her well supplied.
The front desk told me that the bus
had taken her to church. I went BACK to church and stood in the back and finally located her. Our "usual place" was empty but for some weird reason she had decided to sit in a completely different area. We have a large church so this was not a good idea IF she wanted to actually sit with me.
I was so mad by then I told the usher, "I am not in a church frame of mind. Please bring my mom to the curb when church is over."
A little while later, here they come. She got in and I said, "Why were you sitting in a completely different area of church?" She said, " Oh good grief, I didn't know I had to sit in EXACTLY THE SAME SPOT every Sunday." I said, "Well, when you're meeting someone at church, you don't change plans without letting them know."
Anyway, I won't bore you with all the details but I'll just say that she denied not talking to me all week and I told her that she is either more mentally confused or deliberately lying to me - which is it? She wouldn't answer and just said, "OK, so we made one mistake - just hit delete and let's get on with our day." I said, "WE didn't make any mistakes. YOU did not communicate with me all week and then today. And we are not going to get on with our day together. I am taking you back to your apartment. They will be serving lunch in a little while so you can eat there. And I'm going shopping."
"WHAT?" she exclaimed, "Oh you're exaggerating - as usual. Let's just move past this and enjoy our day."
"Nope," I said, "I mean, I'm moving past it and I'm going to enjoy my day, but we're not spending the day together."
I dropped her off at the main entrance. She said, "I guess I'll see you in a day or two," and I said, "Well, actually no. I've got a very busy week, and you don't have any appointments this week. I am going out of town in fact. And I may not even see you next Sunday. I guess I'll see you in a week or so." She gasped, "A WEEK or more?" And I said, "Yep - bye now!" and drove off.
It felt great.
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