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I've never heard of the gift giver getting their purchase credited. The recipient should have received store credit. You'd never be the wiser and then you also wouldn't be on C-D in a lather upset about the situation.
On second thought, maybe she realized that it WAS rude for her to exchange it for UNDERWEAR! LOL. I wouldn't give her another gift unless she admitted to the rudeness. Personally, when I give a gift I don't even mind someone regifting it. I've even told them. But to exchange the BABY's gift for a personal (can't get more personal than underwear) item was wrong...unless the personal item was baby-related, say a nursing bra or something to protect mother's clothing when caring for baby, or carry-all, etc.
OMG - she had too many baby clothes...and maybe as a new mom she wanted something pretty? That fit after her weight had gone up and down and her body through gyrations? You'd think she'd paraded around in front of the OP in a scarlet red thong! Well...I'm certainly glad that due to a cashier screw up we know she didn't actually get to keep them for herself...but that girl is obviously still a w***e!
Sorry, OP - you're a control freak...and you don't even know this girl! How unfortunate that things weren't done well at Nordstrom's - I'm sure the same thing has happened to NUMEROUS gifts you have given but you were blissfully unaware and thought you made perfect choices each time. So this must be a bruise to your ego - rather than humbly accept it you have to turn it around on the hapless new mom. Really mean and not gracious in the least of you.
Actually, knowing what you know - why aren't you rushing her a check for the amount you'd intended to give her but was wrongly credited back to you? YOUR face should be red...not hers.
Of course I know about the return--it was a credit on my Nordstrom card. Once she realized that a credit was given to my card, she should've sent me a quick email explaining what happened. That's good etiquette. Period.
People have no etiquette anymore. I am 45 and send thank you cards for gifts. Not one friend my age does. That is rude. If it were me I would have felt compelled to explain it to you and apologize.
No more gifts for her!
People have no etiquette anymore. I am 45 and send thank you cards for gifts. Not one friend my age does. That is rude. If it were me I would have felt compelled to explain it to you and apologize.
No more gifts for her!
Apologize for what? It is perfectly acceptable to return a gift. That is not something that needs to be explained to the gift giver. The OP already said the woman thanked her for the gift, so nothing rude was going on.
I'm bemused at how many people here are jumping to conclusions and judgments based on their own bias and not on the facts. Granted, you don't know all of them and I realize now it was a mistake to start this thread. (I will be steering clear of this forum in the future! lol) I will not share all the details of my conversation or some of the background in a public forum, but for those of you who were curious and helpful, I will say no "scolding" happened at all in my communication with the daughter. And, yes, I've already picked out another gift, which I mentioned to the daughter. My friend called me this morning to invite me to a luncheon this week with her daughter and grandbabies. I think everyone is feeling just fine and relieved we figured out what happened--no one was embarrassed or angry or vindictive. The friendship is stronger than a mixup by a department store.
I am amazed that some of you are still obsessing over this thread. Let it go! Move on. The problem is solved! I'm sure there are other threads with posters in need of your "advice" with all that vitriol (you do so well) thrown in.
To many of you who were understanding and polite, even if you disagreed, THANK YOU.
Apparently it's not, because in your original post you didn't once give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe the store messed up. You went right to feeling slapped in the face because of store credit, taking it to mean she didn't want a gift from you.
Frankly I'd be mad at Nordstrom, not the friend's daughter. The store screwed up what should have been a normal gift transaction. Why on earth would the recipient go to all the trouble to return a baby gift if she knew your card would get credited? She might as well have thrown the gift away if she got nothing for it (like the underwear). Looks like you got plenty of advice already. Nordstrom has limited baby items anyway, next time get a gift somewhere more practical (like Target or Babies R Us where the parent could get diapers).
Unfortunately, I have had to sometimes deal with people who I don't trust to do the right thing. Whenever I buy one of their children a gift, I always buy at a strictly-for-children's store (Babies 4 Us, Gymboree, etc.). I would advise that the OP follows this advice the next time, if there is another reason to buy a gift for the child.
Now maybe the woman in question exchanged the Nordstrom's gift for undies for herself and bought something else for the baby at another store, but I think it is very sad and disgusting if it was what it appeared to be -- that she would rather have something new for herself than something for her child.
P.S. But, no, I don't think you should say anything to your friend or to the daughter because there might be a reasonable explanation (as I said above), and if not, it probably would be highly embarrassing for her.
Last edited by katharsis; 04-03-2017 at 06:59 AM..
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