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I'm confused as to who died - your friend's husband or your friend's son-in-law? Is the daughter going to give her mother any of the proceeds from the sale of the house? Seems to me it's the least she should do. You are only hearing your friend's side of the story. Maybe there are problems between her and her daughter that you are not aware of or maybe your friend isn't even aware of anything amiss between them but the daughter wants to get away from her mother?
The friends husband died not the daughters. As far as something being amiss I have no idea what it could be or why she'd want to get away from her mother. As I said everything was fine the mother helped her financially and took care of her grandson for 3.5 years while still paying rent. This is a close friend who I have spent a lot of time with and have witnessed.a lot. I think this is a case of pure greed to be honest.
Also, the daughter has said she would 'help' her mom
By giving her 10,000 from
The proceeds as someone stated. The problem is that's yet to be seen and she's not really very trustworthy. Then in talks with the other siblings she is changing her story claiming she may not be able to. This is a situation where the daughter purchased the home by herself (not with the husband) then down the line she received mortgage relief in a very large amount per month (2,000) and continued to charge her mom (while she was providing childcare) and it ended up the parents were now paying 1/2 mtge if that tells u the kind of person she is.
If your friend was paying half of the mortgage AND providing free childcare she was crazy not to get something in writing or renegotiate what she was paying in rent or ask to be paid for child care or ask to be put on the deed or something. Sorry, but she did not plan ahead in case things did not work out in the future.
Yes, she probably deserves the $10,000 and she may have to go to each of her children and ask for a monthly stipend to help pay her rent & other bills.
But, I bet that there are things that you don't know about. Perhaps the daughter really does not like her mom very much and is trying to get away from her? Or maybe the daughter is just a selfish jerk? Or maybe the new house really is too small for everyone to live there?
The mom has low income and a small savings. It's definitely not enough to pay rent and the daughter knew that when her parents came to live with her which imo makes it even more despicable. The daughter actually had no intention of giving mom anything until the siblings stepped in but somehow I don't believe it's going to happen.
Either the daughter is a callous, cold-hearted person or just doesn't have a good relationship with her mother - justified or not. Bottom line - Your friend needs to figure out a way to live without assistance from this particular daughter. She just needs to scrap that as an option. You mention other siblings, so perhaps they can help your friend.
If your friend was paying rent to her daughter for an amount of half the mortgage, she shouldn't be able to rent elsewhere? Perhaps with a roommate? Perhaps somewhere with a cheaper CoL than NYC?
Since your friend is low income, perhaps she could apply for assistance?
my friend was very naive, loves her daughter and did all she could to help. She was paying half the mortgage when her husband was alive, now her income is cut in half and the daughters mortgage has gone up be because the mortgage relief ended in 2016. Bear in mind these are not poor people, they both worked and had a side business as well with well into six figures. The parents had less than half of that. I just feel for her she's such a good person and it seemes her daughter is just a cold hearted callous person. When they first decided on the move and my friend was upset she told her mother it wasn't her fault she had no money!
Apparently the daughter has outgrown the need for childcare, and mom is no longer needed.
I'm sorry your friend is in this situation, but it's a lesson to others to get agreements like this in writing instead of relying on well-meant promises.
Personally, I can't imagine telling my widowed mother she was going to have to fend for herself if she had spent all those years providing free child care, home maintenance and monetary help with the mortgage. Parents did benefit from an apartment at presumably lower costs that an apartment on their own would but, but I'm betting if the cost of child care was added up over the years, there's a huge deficit -- both financial and moral -- in this transaction.
The mom has low income and a small savings. It's definitely not enough to pay rent and the daughter knew that when her parents came to live with her which imo makes it even more despicable. The daughter actually had no intention of giving mom anything until the siblings stepped in but somehow I don't believe it's going to happen.
How is it the daughters fault if the mom has a low income?
Why on earthy would you cling on your kids financially?
Sad situation but the mom (how old is she??) should be set up for retirement, not live paycheck to paycheck and still not be able to afford her own place.
Women are responsible for taking care of themselves. They should develop marketable skills in order to financially support themselves. And if having no marketable skills, they still need to try to find work.
Women who are left alone in life due to divorce or death of a spouse are still responsible for themselves.
Yes, what is the age of the mother, and is she in good health?
And yes, the daughter who has a 6-figure income should help launch her dependent mother into the world, and help her mother become responsible for herself, helping to find a place for the mother to live if living with the daughter is no longer possible or wanted, and helping to find work if the mother is able to work.
But women are adults and are ultimately responsible for themselves.
Are you hearing both sides of the story or just the mother's? There's a lot of times you only hear one side and not much of the other. But, like somebody said earlier, the only ones who should be in this discussion is your friend and her daughter.
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