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I'm glad I'm not so insecure that a hostess or waiter commenting on me eating alone makes me feel like I'm odd.
"Do you enjoy eating alone, do you go a lot of places alone?"
Yep. I do. And I like it.
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me to, if I were so insecure eating alone, I wouldn't ever go out....
and yep, that was my answer....I love eating alone, with a good read.
Sheesh? Attitude much?
I was just saying, just b/c something doesn't happen to you, doesn't mean it never happens.....
I've been going places alone now for the past 18 years....20 years.....like I said, it does happen, doesn't mean anyone is insecure, b/c it happens to them.
I get up at 4 a.m. in the morning, and people say, "What the hell time do you get up". Like your odd....b/c people aren't aware enough to allow others their own personal schedule....talk about insecure....yanno what their next question is, "Well, what time do you go to bed?????" Like your some kind of weirdo, it's the way it's asked....what people don't realize, is how closed minded they sound, and perhaps a little small town, when they act like that.
"You go on Vacation alone, why aren't you afraid????" "Oh, I could never do that?"
I find it hard to believe that their are restaurants that would refuse to seat a paying customer because they are alone? Or give them a crappy seat. Sounds like a shady restaurant to begin with. I've eaten all over the place and never had anyone offer me less than what a couple or family would get. How odd.
I find it hard to believe that their are restaurants that would refuse to seat a paying customer because they are alone? Or give them a crappy seat. Sounds like a shady restaurant to begin with. I've eaten all over the place and never had anyone offer me less than what a couple or family would get. How odd.
As a waitress at one time in my life, a busy restaurant, used to, now I haven't had this happen to me, but, as a waitress, we were told if one person comes in, don't give them a table for four, unless they ask for it...sit them in one of the small duces (what we called a small table for two)....simply b/c it takes up a table for four people, now if the restaurant isn't that busy, fine, then they give you a choice, but, if it's busy, they try not to....now that has happened to me when a place is busy, however, I ask them, "May I please have a larger table over by the window". I've had some hostesses make a face, b/c some places try to even out giving an even number of tables to the wait staff, (to not over load one and give all the tables to another) When the hostess makes a face, I understand....but, I still don't want those small tables.
I have always hated the small duces, when I have a book, or when I used to read the paper, there was never enough room on them. But that's me.
and to, some places do have areas where they sit people by the bus pans....I wouldn't take that table, b/c it's loud and unclean...don't want to sit there eating my food next to a bus pan holder, where the wait staff throws all the dirty used dishes.
For a long time, I thought I lived in one of the most bigoted, closed-minded parts of the country, on issues of Values, Family and Lifestyle, but even I haven't encountered someone openly making an issue of my dining alone.
In one or two instances, I happened to be eating at a Restaurant at the same time as a former co-worker, someone I didn't get on with very sweet-like, and they might be secretly thinking "little wonder he's all alone", but I really didn't care, I knew enough about their character that I would rather be judged by someone of higher quality.
I remember this happening to me only once.....
I went into a high end restaurant, (it wasn't a diner) with my book, and I asked the hostess if I could have a table by the fireplace. She had no problem with that, and I didn't have reservations....however, as we walked in, I remember another table of 3 couples, look at me, even after I sat down, so I stared right back at them, as if to say, "you have something you want to say?" and they looked away.
I've been eating out so much of my life, alone, I don't even notice any longer if it happens, or not. And if they judge me, I could care less, they aren't paying my bills.
I believe the point everyone is trying to make here, who has had an incident happen to them, is this....
Just b/c someone is doing something outside your (not meaning you, but your in general) comfort zone, doesn't make them any less of a human being.
I will never ever date or marry again, b/c I never ever want to live someone else's idea of what my life should be. (perfect example)
People think you have to live your life as they do, otherwise, there must be something wrong, and that is why a lot of marriages do not work.
I've been going places alone now for the past 18 years....20 years.....like I said, it does happen, doesn't mean anyone is insecure, b/c it happens to them.
Whether or not it happens doesn't mean anyone is insecure. If they allow it to bother them means they're insecure.
I've NEVER had a problem, and I dine solo frequently. If anything's been said to me, I don't recall it, because I didn't let it bother me. Why on earth would I care what a waiter thinks of me?
Whether or not it happens doesn't mean anyone is insecure. If they allow it to bother them means they're insecure.
I've NEVER had a problem, and I dine solo frequently. If anything's been said to me, I don't recall it, because I didn't let it bother me. Why on earth would I care what a waiter thinks of me?
No one here is saying, they are insecure b/c of what people think, period! When you wrote the following,
Quote:
I'm glad I'm not so insecure that a hostess or waiter commenting on me eating alone makes me feel like I'm odd.
"Do you enjoy eating alone, do you go a lot of places alone?"
Yep. I do. And I like it.
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it sounded like you were saying, we were insecure for noticing how people address us, or have addressed us over time....
and I apologize if I took it wrong.....
I don't care either and I don't believe the other poster cares, but, you can notice when someone is being aloof or has an attitude about it.
I can tell you times when people were rude to me in convenience stores, but did it bother me, "NO".
I can tell you times when people were rude to me over the phone, but did it bother me, No.
I can tell you when people tried very hard to discourage me from going on vacations alone, and tried to make me feel like I was odd for doing so but I went anyway.
I've never been harassed, but I can read people's body languages pretty well. Let's just say the only time I don't feel judged when doing something alone is when I use the bathroom.
No one here is saying, they are insecure b/c of what people think, period! When you wrote the following,
it sounded like you were saying, we were insecure for noticing how people address us, or have addressed us over time....
and I apologize if I took it wrong.....
I don't care either and I don't believe the other poster cares, but, you can notice when someone is being aloof or has an attitude about it.
I can tell you times when people were rude to me in convenience stores, but did it bother me, "NO".
I can tell you times when people were rude to me over the phone, but did it bother me, No.
I can tell you when people tried very hard to discourage me from going on vacations alone, and tried to make me feel like I was odd for doing so but I went anyway.
same thing....
If the comments of a waiter have the ability to make someone feel odd (as the other poster said), then yes, they are insecure. Sorry, that's just the way it is.
If the comments of a waiter have the ability to make someone feel odd (as the other poster said), then yes, they are insecure. Sorry, that's just the way it is.
yes, your right, I see your point....no one can make you feel anything about yourself but you....
So how bout if she would have said, but neglected to say, "They Try to make me feel odd".
the point I'm trying to make, is this.....
I believe most of the time, its done "Unintentionally" but, have you ever noticed, anyone, look at you and scowl, while saying something like, "Wull, why do you go alone", simply b/c they have no concept what-so-ever of doing anything outside they're comfort zone. Now, mind you, it's they're first reaction, b/c they are so surprised by it and you...but they literally do not understand, how you can feel the way you do?
So, never in your life, have you been challenged by another human being, who doesn't own your personal culture, say something negative about something you do, or your going to do?
I am just guessing, but That's how I see the OP expressing it, not that he/she is insecure, but simply noticing the negativity toward her b/c they simply cannot hide it....no filter.
yes, your right, I see your point....no one can make you feel anything about yourself but you....
So how bout if she would have said, but neglected to say, "They Try to make me feel odd".
the point I'm trying to make, is this.....
I believe most of the time, its done "Unintentionally" but, have you ever noticed, anyone, look at you and scowl, while saying something like, "Wull, why do you go alone", simply b/c they have no concept what-so-ever of doing anything outside they're comfort zone. Now, mind you, it's they're first reaction, b/c they are so surprised by it and you...but they literally do not understand, how you can feel the way you do?
So, never in your life, have you been challenged by another human being, who doesn't own your personal culture, say something negative about something you do, or your going to do?
I am just guessing, but That's how I see the OP expressing it, not that he/she is insecure, but simply noticing the negativity toward her b/c they simply cannot hide it....no filter.
I may notice it, but I don't let it affect me. So what if I notice it? It doesn't change anything. Their opinion doesn't matter. They can scowl all they want. It has no effect on me.
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