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I live in NYC in a neighborhood where it's very hard to park on the street. So I rented a garage behind someone's home a few blocks away. The garage landlord seems to be trying very hard to start a friendship with me, and I really prefer just to pay my rent every month and leave it at that.
I'm female, he's male. I live alone but I'm in a long-distance relationship. He is married with two kids, one grown and one still at home. He's from the Middle East originally but has been here many years. His wife is from South America.
I've rented the garage since October 1. He didn't start this whole thing with asking me to go out for meals until I'd been renting for at least a month. The first invitation was for breakfast on a weekday, which I can technically do since I am self-employed, but I prefer not to since that's working time for me.
Anyway I did agree to go to breakfast as I thought it was relatively harmless. The breakfast at a diner went fine and nothing seemed that weird and I did not feel he was hitting on me. If anything, I felt he was taking a sort of paternalistic attitude with me in terms of giving me advice about my business and networking, etc. The breakfast was the day after the Thanksgiving holiday and He asked me what I did over Thanksgiving. I mentioned my boyfriend was visiting, and he did not even seem to hear it, or at least did not ask me any other questions about it.
Only two days later after that breakfast he texted me again saying even though he's busy that week (the week we had just had breakfast on a Monday) but let's go for breakfast the following week. I declined by saying that I had a lot of deadlines to meet.
A few weeks passed and I just got a text from him saying his family is out of town and he wants to take me to dinner on Jan. 1 evening so he won't feel so lonely with his family out of town. I don't really want to, so I made up an excuse and said I have guests visiting.
It's extremely difficult to find any garage at all to rent around here, so it's not like I can just move to a different garage space. I really don't think I can find another one. People are desperate for them.
Any suggestions of what to do? I guess I can just keep turning down the invitations, but the whole thing just seems really weird to me. All I want to do is park my car, not have a new friendship (or whatever he's after) with the man who owns the garage.
I agree with others too, try no responding unless it's related to garage rental but if you must then maybe repeat the statements birdie suggested . I'd screen save the texts by the way just for your records and yes seek another garage asap.
... Any suggestions of what to do? I guess I can just keep turning down the invitations, but the whole thing just seems really weird to me. All I want to do is park my car, not have a new friendship (or whatever he's after) with the man who owns the garage.
Nothing untoward has happened and perhaps things will remain that way, but there is still something unsettling about your situation. When a woman makes her intentions clear about just wanting to pay the garage rent with no other involvement from breakfast to occasional socializing, it needs to be respected.
When you have that inner voice speaking to you, please listen to it. Losing a garage in NYC can be a real problem, but maintaining your independence should not be compromised for the parking space or anything else. For you to characterize it as really weird is solely what you should base your future actions are. Be safe, smart and keep your distance.
Nothing untoward has happened and perhaps things will remain that way, but there is still something unsettling about your situation. When a woman makes her intentions clear about just wanting to pay the garage rent with no other involvement from breakfast to occasional socializing, it needs to be respected.
When you have that inner voice speaking to you, please listen to it. Losing a garage in NYC can be a real problem, but maintaining your independence should not be compromised for the parking space or anything else. For you to characterize it as really weird is solely what you should base your future actions are. Be safe, smart and keep your distance.
I do think it's weird -- meaning unusual. Part of me thinks that he is just as he's made himself out to be -- which is a nearing-retirement family man who gets lonely when the rest of the family is not around, which I think is pretty often. He only works 5 to 6 hours a day and on an unusual schedule, so I think he's alone a lot. I'm not 100% sure he's hitting on me, although the situation doesn't seem correct. I don't think a married man should be trying to take his tenant out one-on-one to meals in the neighborhood.
However, I didn't ever make it clear to him that I just want to pay the garage rent and he should stop asking me to go out. I was hoping that if he keeps asking, that I can just simply keep turning down the invitations. I don't really want a confrontation.
The other thing I should mention is that besides the texts, he has also sent me emails. They are extremely short and poorly written (I don't think his written English is all that great, although he's completely fluent in spoken English). A few of them have asked questions that I don't think he should be asking. For example, during Thanksgiving weekend AFTER I had already agreed to meet with him on Monday morning, he sent me an email 24 hours after the plan had been set to wish me a happy Thanksgiving, followed with "Are you in town?" which I don't think is any of his business.
I ignored that email, waiting 24 hours til Sunday evening (the evening before our scheduled breakfast) and just wrote confirming the time and place for the breakfast.
Even this Christmas, he sent me an email wishing me a good Chirstmas but also asking me if I was in a country I had told him I planned to travel to this winter. I was away for Christmas and didn't use the car for at least a week, but I was not out of the country. I did not answer that email. Then subsequently he texted me a Merry Christmas text, which I responded to by wishing him a Merry Christmas.
It's a little disconcerting that he can look out his window and know when I'm taking my car out, although there are many other garages all in a row back there so it's not like I'm the only one coming and going. All the other garages are separately owned by the owners of the other attached houses.
Part of me thinks that he is just as he's made himself out to be -- which is a nearing-retirement family man who gets lonely when the rest of the family is not around, which I think is pretty often. He only works 5 to 6 hours a day and on an unusual schedule, so I think he's alone a lot.
Please do not feel like you have to make excuses for him.
His behavior is unacceptable. He is insinuating himself into your personal life, and your instincts are correct that it is wrong.
Now you just have to do damage control until you can hopefully find another arrangement.
I would start looking for a new garage right away and in the meantime only respond to texts concerning the rental agreement. Nothing personal. What he's doing is not normal and there is no way he's just looking at you as a new friend. The whole situation is extremely creepy.
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