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Do you? I work with a woman who is leaving her present job. She is not someone I have any great attachment/affinity for at all. I have also heard she has had negative things to say about me and I have not said anything to her about this either way... she can just leave. Anyway, now there is someone who has decided to have a gathering for a goodbye party at her house and I really feel like I can't be bothered to not only attend but it is expected people bring food.
It will be held on a Sunday. I cherish my Sunday's free of anything. I like the person who is holding the party but don't feel I should go just because I like her and not the person leaving. The person having the party has asked me a couple of times to come and she is unaware of how I feel and what I know about this person leaving. I will tell her after she leaves the job, not interested in getting a big to-do about this.
What do you do when this happens? Thanks
Like any social gathering, I go if I want to, and if I don't want to go, I don't.
Do you? I work with a woman who is leaving her present job. She is not someone I have any great attachment/affinity for at all. I have also heard she has had negative things to say about me and I have not said anything to her about this either way... she can just leave. Anyway, now there is someone who has decided to have a gathering for a goodbye party at her house and I really feel like I can't be bothered to not only attend but it is expected people bring food.
It will be held on a Sunday. I cherish my Sunday's free of anything. I like the person who is holding the party but don't feel I should go just because I like her and not the person leaving. The person having the party has asked me a couple of times to come and she is unaware of how I feel and what I know about this person leaving. I will tell her after she leaves the job, not interested in getting a big to-do about this.
What do you do when this happens? Thanks
You are not under any obligation to attend. If you didn't get along with this woman, then give an excuse and enjoy your Sunday without a second thought.
At the same time, I do wonder about people who militantly refuse to attend any social gathering among colleagues. Yeah, I've heard all the whines about it's my time, blah blah blahbity blah.
But it's remarkably short-sighted. At the very least, you're spending 40 hours a week with these people. What's more, these are people who have influence over your present and future, whether in the quality of work you do or your later job prospects. What's more, as time marches on, those same colleagues can be a source of referrals or advice.
My first job in my biz was like that. It was a pell-mell, blisteringly fast-paced environment. After we knocked off at 7 or 8, we'd sometimes go have a beer to blow off steam. It wasn't as if we were all best friends, but there's something to be said about getting to know others outside the conversations about work. In truth, there's a great deal to be said.
30 years later, it's amazing how often those early relationships have come in handy. It's equally amazing how a couple of those relationships have blossomed into lifelong friendships. My direct report, a fire-breathing supervisor who first unnerved me, came to really respect me and fought a lot of battles on my behalf. Today, he comes to me for advice every couple of months and I gladly dispense it. It's the least I can do.
So to ignore those opportunities can be very short-sighted. If you don't form those bonds, a lot in your life could suffer as a result.
Do you? I work with a woman who is leaving her present job. She is not someone I have any great attachment/affinity for at all. I have also heard she has had negative things to say about me and I have not said anything to her about this either way... she can just leave. Anyway, now there is someone who has decided to have a gathering for a goodbye party at her house and I really feel like I can't be bothered to not only attend but it is expected people bring food.
It will be held on a Sunday. I cherish my Sunday's free of anything. I like the person who is holding the party but don't feel I should go just because I like her and not the person leaving. The person having the party has asked me a couple of times to come and she is unaware of how I feel and what I know about this person leaving. I will tell her after she leaves the job, not interested in getting a big to-do about this.
What do you do when this happens? Thanks
Jeeze, don't tell the party giver why you didn't want to go after the lady leaves.
Just say "Sorry, I can't make it" and leave it at that.
I would vote for going because of the person who is hosting. She is someone you work with and I assume you plan to continue to work at that place.
A couple hours out of your life will return much future goodwill with this person. If she was not the host and had not twice brought it up to you, I would not partake. But she is, so I would go. I value loyalty.
If you really don't want to go, there's no harm in telling the host that you already have plans, but, as history fan says, if this can win you some brownie points with a colleague, or if your boss or other higher ups will be attending, it could be an easy opportunity to put in some face time and look like a team player.
Does the person hosting have the ability to impact your job? If so, this might be one of those mandatory voluntary things.
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