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Oh yeah, the hypersensitivity and offendedness of some of the posts here is exactly why a lot of straight men will not go out of their way to become friends with women. Hell, would you volunteer to spend time with someone you are worried to death of offending with a slip of the tongue? I think not.
HOnestly, that's ironic coming from you. At least from the aggressive way you post here I can imagine that people in your life would be very worried about setting you off and have to walk on eggshells to protect your emotions. It's a two-way street.
It's really hard for me to get along with girls. Maybe that's just because I'm a straight guy, so I have only one female friend (sometimes zero) at any given moment. But not having any sisters, AND having all my female relatives other than my mom either in the UK or Hong Kong surely couldn't help.
On top of that, I am an electrical engineering major (85% male students) and have borderline Asperger's.
I guess I should just be happy having 99% male friends. But it gets boring after a while, you know? Even if you aren't interested in dating, you still want female friends. Can any other straight guys relate to that? Do any other straight guys also have no female relatives close by them, and want female friends who can be like a sister to you?
Currently, my only female friend also has Asperger's (more severe than me) and is also an engineering major (computer science). Very tomboyish, too; has mostly guy friends from gaming. But she is straight. I like her because she acts a lot like a guy, very simple and non-intimidating, unlike most girls out there, all sophisticated and socially-savvy and devious like that. Without any female relatives in the country, she has become like a female cousin to me.
That explains it. In that field you'll be surrounded by men your entire career.
Oh yeah, the hypersensitivity and offendedness of some of the posts here is exactly why a lot of straight men will not go out of their way to become friends with women. Hell, would you volunteer to spend time with someone you are worried to death of offending with a slip of the tongue? I think not.
So if I posted this it would be okay: "It’s really hard for me to get along with guys. Probably because I'm straight. It doesn't help that I don't have any brothers or close male relatives. Currently my only male friend is also a nursing major. He’s a feminine guy—mostly has female friends from the dance group he’s in. But he is straight. I like him because he acts like a girl, he has high emotional intelligence and is really smart, unlike most guys out there, who are only interested in me for sex, have horrible hygiene and can’t hold a conversation."
Men are absolutely emotional--if you've been around a guy whose team won or lost something, or when he sees his ex with her new boyfriend, or when he gets cut off in traffic, etc. you've been around a man showing emotions. Men are also emotional in relationships. Dismissing women as irrational and too emotional is generally a way for weak men to make themselves feel stronger.
Where do some women get the ideas they plaster all over the internet, holy mother of God.
Women are emotional and often irrational , gee, l must feel stronger now right.
How on earth could you put those two together.
But hey when you call men emotional thats all fine right , your not doing it because your a weak woman that needs to feel stronger or anything, got it.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueFebruary
So if I posted this it would be okay: "It’s really hard for me to get along with guys. Probably because I'm straight. It doesn't help that I don't have any brothers or close male relatives. Currently my only male friend is also a nursing major. He’s a feminine guy—mostly has female friends from the dance group he’s in. But he is straight. I like him because he acts like a girl, he has high emotional intelligence and is really smart, unlike most guys out there, who are only interested in me for sex, have horrible hygiene and can’t hold a conversation."
Wouldn’t make me happy, but I’d understand that is your own experience. By the reaction he is getting, a lot of what he is saying is being reinforced on this thread.
It's really hard for me to get along with girls. Maybe that's just because I'm a straight guy, so I have only one female friend (sometimes zero) at any given moment. But not having any sisters, AND having all my female relatives other than my mom either in the UK or Hong Kong surely couldn't help.
On top of that, I am an electrical engineering major (85% male students) and have borderline Asperger's.
I guess I should just be happy having 99% male friends. But it gets boring after a while, you know? Even if you aren't interested in dating, you still want female friends. Can any other straight guys relate to that? Do any other straight guys also have no female relatives close by them, and want female friends who can be like a sister to you?
Currently, my only female friend also has Asperger's (more severe than me) and is also an engineering major (computer science). Very tomboyish, too; has mostly guy friends from gaming. But she is straight. I like her because she acts a lot like a guy, very simple and non-intimidating, unlike most girls out there, all sophisticated and socially-savvy and devious like that. Without any female relatives in the country, she has become like a female cousin to me.
Female friends are overrated. I've had plenty.
It is a proximity thing. If you aren't friends with women, you probably are not around a lot of women. If you are then perhaps you are not genuinely interested in the women you're around. It is better to get to know women as friends first anyway to determine if you want to take things further. Not doing so leads to a lot of unwelcome surprises. If you think the girl is crazy, well you probably would have known that if you were friends with her first.
But I would never base a friendship off of the idea that the she acts like a man, is tomboyish, has a lot of other guy friends or whatever. It is a recipe for disaster. A lot of times those girls they really were interested, and you were not, and then you aren't friends with them anymore when you get a girlfriend or you get married. A girl being "Just one of the guys"; yeah that can get complicated. I've been in a lot of situations like that and was delusional.
Another big thing for me with women friends was , a gf or w is one thing, hell ex and l could talk all night, your just into each other, Love it.
And often when their friends come over its pretty cool if we get along or they tag along with us somewhere, but again , a gf or ex w, that's a whole nother animal and goes with it.
But women in general , lm just not into in a hang out sense, they're too well , girlie ,too emotional, oh yeah saying that that must mean l need to feel strong thats right , ooops,
but seriously , the things they wanna do, talk , everything , yaknow l love women mostly and l love them around but as a friend , it just doesn't interest me.
Guess that's why gay guys can have women as friends , girlie stuff interests them.
Someone there even said that exact thing up there , but he was virtually another chick. NO THANKS.
Like l've got one friend we've been emailing for years, great lady too more soul and smarts than most could even comprehend.
But sometimes she's sending pics of food she made or stuff she wants to wear or bought or talking clothes or some shyt , like she's still a girl and hey of course l love that but yaknow, as a friend, sometimes l think yeah , might have to back this away l think. Not only but l know it's coming - Hawk , why have you tried to sleep with me. Well actually she's gorgeous, but she just doesn't do it for me in that way.
Or the ohhhh l just need to feel desired , dunno how many women friends have said stuff like that to me and yaknow what , l don't care, l just don't. Unless she's my gf or w , or my daughter , l just don't wanna listen to the bs , well it is to me as a guy yaknow, that's all l'm sayin.
Or say one of my sisters just moved up to my area 18mths ago, she wants me to go to the pub , come over for drinks, tea, all nighters with her and her friends, l mean l just don;t giva fk tbh. l don't wanna hang out with my sister. Been over twice in 18mthsm guilt mostly, that's enough for another 5yrs to me.
Another big thing for me with women friends was , a gf or w is one thing and of course your into each other, and all the things about each other and especially convo. Love it.
But women in general , lm not into at all in a a hang out sense, they're too well , girlie ,too emotional, oh yeah saying that that must mean l need to feel strong thats right , ooops, but seriously , the things they wanna do, talk about , everything , yaknow l love women mostly and l love them around but as a friend , it just doesn't interest me.
Guess that's why gay guys can have women as friends , girlie stuff interests them.
Someone there even said that exact thing uo there , he was vertually another chick.
Like l've got one friend we've been emailing for years , great lady too more soul and smarts than most could even comprehend.
But sometimes she's sending me pics of food she made or something she wants to wear or or talking about her clothes or some shyt , like she's still a girl and hey of course l love that but yaknow, as a friend, sometimes l think yeah , might have to back this away .
Or the ohhhh l just need to feel desired , dunno how many women friends have said stuff like that to me and yaknow what , l don't care, l just don't. Unless she's my gf or w , or my daughter , l just don't wanna listen to the bs , well it is to me as a guy yaknow, that's all l'm sayin.
Or say one of my sisters just moved up to my area 18mths ago, she wants me to go to the pub , come over for drinks, tea, all nighters with her and her friends, l mean l just don;t giva fk tbh. l don't wanna hang out with my sister.
Exactly. I used to have a lot of female friends, primarily those I met through work, and would even hang out with them from time to time.
Female friends are good for conversation. You can talk to them about a lot of things that you can't, do not want to, or maybe should not talk to men about. Men getting close like that emotionally can get a little weird, depending on the context.
But when you take it further things get weird really fast. For one just listening to a woman at length can be exhausting. I had an appetite for it when I was a teenager, in my twenties and thirties but I simply cannot do it anymore. I don't mean like several minutes I mean when you get someone to open up and 20, 30 minutes later we are still talking about the exact same thing. I've learned that they either speak to everyone this freely or no one. A lot of women just do not have anyone to talk to; I get that, but at the same time I probably am not the one to talk to at length like that. When I was single it was fine. But it can be dicey now.
A lot of men are under the idea that they'll get quickly put into a friend zone or something like this. I disagree; if you are in the friend zone you never had a chance to begin with. If someone really likes you, you're building intimacy emotionally but it doesn't mean that all bets are off. If someone does not like you in that way at least they trust you on some level, and you're still building emotional intimacy just that there are no chances of romance. You might get into a friends with benefits situation, but that should never be the goal if that happens then so be it but that should never be the point of anything. Some have this dilemma of "ruining the friendship". Well you probably aren't friends at that point and that is okay because relationships change and evolve with time. Wanting to hold a relationship exactly where it is when is has obviously progressed is selfish in my opinion. On both sides. If you need that type of relationship find someone else because this relationship has obviously moved on. You can't go back to it; you can pretend, and put the relationship in a box and compartmentalize your feelings but those feelings are not going to change.
I do talk to my sister a lot. I think the men that women feel comfortable talking to like that are either wired differently or have something else going on that the average man does not. Gay men obviously but there are other men women do this with as well.
Where do some women get the ideas they plaster all over the internet, holy mother of God.
Women are emotional and often irrational , gee, l must feel stronger now right. How on earth could you put those two together.
But hey when you call men emotional thats all fine right , your not doing it because your a weak woman that needs to feel stronger or anything, got it.
I'm not trying to start a battle of the sexes here, but ask any woman if she's ever been legitmately upset but had her concerns brushed aside because she's too emotional. Heck people even argued that Hillary couldn't be president because women and their emotions, right? It's a long-standing trope that women are crazy, but men are passionate. Where did I get this? Society. Maybe you just haven't noticed.
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