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Some people do not want to carry the mental tabulation everyone does. Even people who say 'I don't care about things being even' have a mental tab going, even if it's loose. If nothing else, to make sure they are not being takers.
I had a bestie in college for whom everything was to the penny. She would even say things like 'I will treat you to air conditioning' when riding in her car. But she didn't say it like it was a huge favor or that I like owed her for it, she just wanted me to know that she was spending a few extra pennies on that!
She is a sweet and wonderful person, always there for whoever needs her, a good friend, all the things, so this was not a big deal at all. She never wanted to owe a penny or be owed a penny. Many people are like this, and it isn't a character flaw.
EVERYONE is 'funny' about money in their own way. Including OP. I also do not like to deal with cash at all, for various reasons, but I recognize I must keep some on-hand at all times, and one of the reasons for that is situations like the OPs.
If a friend gets me something from the store, whether it's $1 or $15, I am damn sure going to have that $1 or $15 to hand over when they walk in the door or I find out the amount, which will occur immediately, that is just basic MANNERS.
If they say 'Don't be silly' or whatever, ok, I will accept graciously but that is going in my mental tab. And I will be the 'don't be silly' one when I bring something and they want to pay me.
OP, you think it's fine to buy people things costing a couple bucks and not worry over it, and she is weird not to. Neither of you are weird on that point, just different. In this case, it is you that must bend.
Give her her $2 and get your $2 when the times come. But also remember there is a difference between 'Do you want anything at the store?' in which case if you say yes, you are in effect asking for something, it's not a gift being offered. That is different than 'Here, I bought you a pepsi'. That is a gift, and not subject to the collection of the $2.
I don't have to many friends. I had a group of friends but a few years after hs we drifted apart and now we don't talk anymore. I am mostly a loner. I don't want to be but I have a hard time making friends even though I'm a social person. So I'm a loner but not by choice. Plus I'm in a new city, though I have been here for a while I still havent met a lot of new friends though I am dating and meeting people that way.
I met some girls at work (who are my age) and some of them go out on certain nights to party and drink or to do whatever. I have become kind of close with one girl. I guess we can call her Chloe lol. Chloe is really awesome and I enjoy hanging out with her, but one thing I have noticed is that she's super weird about money.
One night we went to a club. We had never been to this club before and we didn't know it was $10 to get in. I had my debit card, but did not have $10 in cash because they werent taking cards. Chloe paid for me and said I could pay her back later. I said I was fine with that and said thank you.
Well the next day, she was already mentioning me paying her back over text. I said I would, no problem and that I would get cash and give it to her as soon as I could (i normally dont have cash just my debit card). On our very next shift I had the $10 and meant to give it to her, but things got busy at work and I honestly forgot. I got off work and went home. That night she texted me and said, "Are you still going to pay me back the ten?". I said yes and gave it to her the next day. This happened over only two days. I just thought it was really weird. From the way she talks she isn't broke so I don't get what the rush was.
She's also really into splitting stuff- which is fine, I don't mind splitting but she wants it down to the very last penny lol. She came to my place for movie night and picked up snacks. She asked me what I wanted. She brought me the receipt for my poptarts and lemonade and pointed out what i owed her. I was like, okay lol.
Is this behavior normal. I used to have a group of friends and we used to get each other snacks, or sometimes pay for each other but it wasnt a huge deal. We would buy each other things and not add it up or *make* each other pay each other back. It was more of a "hey, thanks, I'll get you next time!" type of thing. I've bought small stuff for friends and havent really put that much thought into it. i'm not a rich person but i don't think I would ever in a million years give someone a receipt for $3 worth of stuff i bought for them. maybe I'm just from a small town but that seemed tacky kind of.
When she invites me out she also wants $5 for gas. Well, okay. Its just $5 and I don't mind but I don't think I'd ever charge a friend for gas unless it was a crazy long trip out of state or something.
Is she a bit weird about money or do I just not hang out with enough people?
Be honest folks. Yes she is weird with money. We all have money goals (as some posters brought up) but who brings a receipt for snacks to their friends' house who has invited you over to hangout? Money for gas too!! Very unusual! Only asking for gas for a VERY long trip is the normal behavior as OP says. Nevertheless OP you should just carry on with the friendship as is and accept her quirks.
OP - I just read some other responses. Good grief. I'm thinking some of these posters are weird about money!
The OP borrowed $10 to get into a club as she wasn't carrying cash (normal - happens sometimes). Your friend covers you and you pay them back. OP did so - forgot one day (again normal) and paid the following day. Done and dusted, what is all the drama!?
When a friend needs the same one day OP will return the favour. That's how it works!
Cant drag myself to read all the thread...but I think its weird. I am usually the one that pays and am "hey you can get it next time" sort of. And if I ask what someone wants while I am on a food run, I don't expect to be paid back.
I get really anxious when I owe someone money. I don't like it. I try not to put my friends in that position.
Cant drag myself to read all the thread...but I think its weird. I am usually the one that pays and am "hey you can get it next time" sort of. And if I ask what someone wants while I am on a food run, I don't expect to be paid back.
I get really anxious when I owe someone money. I don't like it. I try not to put my friends in that position.
I don't have to many friends. I had a group of friends but a few years after hs we drifted apart and now we don't talk anymore. I am mostly a loner. I don't want to be but I have a hard time making friends even though I'm a social person. So I'm a loner but not by choice. Plus I'm in a new city, though I have been here for a while I still havent met a lot of new friends though I am dating and meeting people that way.
I met some girls at work (who are my age) and some of them go out on certain nights to party and drink or to do whatever. I have become kind of close with one girl. I guess we can call her Chloe lol. Chloe is really awesome and I enjoy hanging out with her, but one thing I have noticed is that she's super weird about money.
One night we went to a club. We had never been to this club before and we didn't know it was $10 to get in. I had my debit card, but did not have $10 in cash because they werent taking cards. Chloe paid for me and said I could pay her back later. I said I was fine with that and said thank you.
Well the next day, she was already mentioning me paying her back over text. I said I would, no problem and that I would get cash and give it to her as soon as I could (i normally dont have cash just my debit card). On our very next shift I had the $10 and meant to give it to her, but things got busy at work and I honestly forgot. I got off work and went home. That night she texted me and said, "Are you still going to pay me back the ten?". I said yes and gave it to her the next day. This happened over only two days. I just thought it was really weird. From the way she talks she isn't broke so I don't get what the rush was.
She's also really into splitting stuff- which is fine, I don't mind splitting but she wants it down to the very last penny lol. She came to my place for movie night and picked up snacks. She asked me what I wanted. She brought me the receipt for my poptarts and lemonade and pointed out what i owed her. I was like, okay lol.
Is this behavior normal. I used to have a group of friends and we used to get each other snacks, or sometimes pay for each other but it wasnt a huge deal. We would buy each other things and not add it up or *make* each other pay each other back. It was more of a "hey, thanks, I'll get you next time!" type of thing. I've bought small stuff for friends and havent really put that much thought into it. i'm not a rich person but i don't think I would ever in a million years give someone a receipt for $3 worth of stuff i bought for them. maybe I'm just from a small town but that seemed tacky kind of.
When she invites me out she also wants $5 for gas. Well, okay. Its just $5 and I don't mind but I don't think I'd ever charge a friend for gas unless it was a crazy long trip out of state or something.
Is she a bit weird about money or do I just not hang out with enough people?
She is like this because a lot of people conveniently “forget” to pay you back when they borrow a minuscule amount of money. Not everyone is like that. Now I’m like you in the get you back later. Like I’m going to a buddys and they say hey can you grab so and so on your way. Yeah no biggie. I don’t ask for money. And i sure wouldn’t ask you for gas money.
It doesn't matter if it was $1, $10, $100, or $1000. Dismissing it as "just" ten bucks is rude and disrespectful of someone who was kind enough to lend it to you. You should have made paying it back a priority. Even if it meant leaving the house a little earlier to find an ATM. Don't make excuses about how busy you got. Make time.
Here's a life tip ... Put a $20 bill in your wallet. And forget about it. Don't use it unless you absolutely have to, and if you do use it, replace it right away. You wouldn't have needed to borrow money from anyone.
Yes, I used to do the same thing...but now it is a rare place that doesn't take cards and I rarely keep cash so I can understand upsadaisy's situation.
For the record, I agree with upsadaisy - it is weird the extent to which she takes things. But if you want to be friends with her you'll need to expect and respect her quirks. She's a bit over the top but may relax a little over time - or it may be how she is with everyone all the time. If you like her and can put up with it, fine - otherwise you just may not end up as more than acquaintances and either is okay.
Of course if you stick with your usual behavior of NOT asking for every nickel and dime you'll end up paying considerably more than she will since you have to "reimburse" her. So that may end up as an issue if you really don't want to be that way, even just with her.
Be honest folks. Yes she is weird with money. We all have money goals (as some posters brought up) but who brings a receipt for snacks to their friends' house who has invited you over to hangout? Money for gas too!! Very unusual! Only asking for gas for a VERY long trip is the normal behavior as OP says. Nevertheless OP you should just carry on with the friendship as is and accept her quirks.
Yes I agree her behavior is odd. She would have to have a lot of other redeeming qualities for me to want to remain friends with her.
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