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I don't think she's weird...I just think she wants you to understand that she's not going to let you mooch off of her every time you debit card isn't accepted somewhere. Your excuse of 'it's hard to pay her back for things' is just that, an excuse. ATMs are everyone...use one and carry cash.
I bolded 'things' because your OP made it sound like the ten bucks was a first time/one time thing...I get the impression you 'borrow' from her a lot more than your letting on. If you kept doing that to me, you'd be outside the club...no wait, you'd be home at home on your couch because I'd stop asking to join me.
No I honestly don't?? I didn't even mean to borrow the ten really. I told her I didnt have the cash and I said that we could skip it since I didnt have cash. I didnt know it was cash only. She didnt either, we had never been to this place. She offered to get it and said I could pay back later. I dint think it was a big deal until she made it one
I normally dont borrow money. The snack thing was her offering but then expecting me to pay back, which is hard to do when I only have my debit card.
Maybe your approach is the reason you don't have many friends? Taking money from somebody, not returning it at the first opportunity, and then calling Chloe weird for wanting her hard earned money back? 10 bucks is a lot of money. A lot of people in USA need to work at least an hour to earn it.
The short answer is that she is cheap. They get really stressed about money. This is not an uncommon trait and it usually has to do with how someone was raised. As long as it doesn't annoy you and it goes both ways (meaning, she's not stiffing you and at the same time giving you receipts for $2.97), I would just tolerate it if she is otherwise a cool person.
Yeah it was just weird to me lol. friends in the past have never acted this way. So I was just wondering. I don't have many friends other than online here, so I don't know. I guess its an issue so I won't borrow money from her and say no if she offers to get anything.
But Ill keep around cash for gas I guess. if I go out with her again.
She doesnt stiff me. i bought her something twice I think? But I don't ask to be paid back. a $2 pepsi is not something I'm going to demand t be paid back lol. She's my friend.
I don't have to many friends. I had a group of friends but a few years after hs we drifted apart and now we don't talk anymore. I am mostly a loner. I don't want to be but I have a hard time making friends even though I'm a social person. So I'm a loner but not by choice. Plus I'm in a new city, though I have been here for a while I still havent met a lot of new friends though I am dating and meeting people that way.
I met some girls at work (who are my age) and some of them go out on certain nights to party and drink or to do whatever. I have become kind of close with one girl. I guess we can call her Chloe lol. Chloe is really awesome and I enjoy hanging out with her, but one thing I have noticed is that she's super weird about money.
One night we went to a club. We had never been to this club before and we didn't know it was $10 to get in. I had my debit card, but did not have $10 in cash because they werent taking cards. Chloe paid for me and said I could pay her back later. I said I was fine with that and said thank you.
Well the next day, she was already mentioning me paying her back over text. I said I would, no problem and that I would get cash and give it to her as soon as I could (i normally dont have cash just my debit card). On our very next shift I had the $10 and meant to give it to her, but things got busy at work and I honestly forgot. I got off work and went home. That night she texted me and said, "Are you still going to pay me back the ten?". I said yes and gave it to her the next day. This happened over only two days. I just thought it was really weird. From the way she talks she isn't broke so I don't get what the rush was.
She's also really into splitting stuff- which is fine, I don't mind splitting but she wants it down to the very last penny lol. She came to my place for movie night and picked up snacks. She asked me what I wanted. She brought me the receipt for my poptarts and lemonade and pointed out what i owed her. I was like, okay lol.
Is this behavior normal. I used to have a group of friends and we used to get each other snacks, or sometimes pay for each other but it wasnt a huge deal. We would buy each other things and not add it up or *make* each other pay each other back. It was more of a "hey, thanks, I'll get you next time!" type of thing. I've bought small stuff for friends and havent really put that much thought into it. i'm not a rich person but i don't think I would ever in a million years give someone a receipt for $3 worth of stuff i bought for them. maybe I'm just from a small town but that seemed tacky kind of.
When she invites me out she also wants $5 for gas. Well, okay. Its just $5 and I don't mind but I don't think I'd ever charge a friend for gas unless it was a crazy long trip out of state or something.
Is she a bit weird about money or do I just not hang out with enough people?
As someone who is tight with her own money, even I think that this is odd behavior from a friend or a close coworker. In my circle (and experience), we often take turns paying for things or, if it's something small like giving someone a ride home or sharing a snack, we don't worry about it as in the grand scheme of things it all evens out. Unless you really like this person, I'd either limit your interactions (at least the ones that involve money) or just understand that this is just your friend's particular quirk and roll with it.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
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If you enjoy her company otherwise, I think you're just going to have to put up with this quirk.
I understand her wanting her $10, and even after she asked what you wanted from the store putting the receipt down so you could pay for your items. I really do get that - if people wouldn't let me pay them back, I'd be reluctant to tell them what I wanted from the grocery store.
But about the gas - does she always drive? Do you have a car? If she always drives, I kind of get that too. But if you drive half the time does she pay you then?
The bigger picture, that's the thing about having a variety of friends. You don't have to be all that picky about them - it's not like you're picking a husband/partner, where this would be an absolute deal breaker. If you like her, you learn her quirks and tolerate them where you can.
This is my take on lending money. The person who lends the money is somehow the bad person for asking for the money back. This is why I never lend money and expect a return. If I give someone money I consider it a bonus if I get it back. Money makes people weird.
Your friend was not wrong or weird for asking for her money back. It was her money and she expected it back. You made it uncomfortable by not paying her back asap. Live and learn.
If I invite someone to go somewhere I would never make them give me gas money. If we take a longer trip, we take turns filling up.
My friends and I do it how you said you and your old friends did. We don't keep tabs on small things, we know it evens out. I bought pizza, she bought the snacks, etc. We have been friends a long time, though.
Bigger amounts we take care of with the Venmo app, as we never have cash and it's easier. If I buy all our concert tickets, they just venmo me their portion.
This is my take on lending money. The person who lends the money is somehow the bad person for asking for the money back. This is why I never lend money and expect a return. If I give someone money I consider it a bonus if I get it back. Money makes people weird.
Your friend was not wrong or weird for asking for her money back. It was her money and she expected it back. You made it uncomfortable by not paying her back asap. Live and learn.
I'm fine with paying her back but she was freaking out by the next day and that made me uncomfortable. I will not borrow from her again.
I had the cash to pay her back the next day but i got busy on shift n honestly did forget.
If I invite someone to go somewhere I would never make them give me gas money. If we take a longer trip, we take turns filling up.
My friends and I do it how you said you and your old friends did. We don't keep tabs on small things, we know it evens out. I bought pizza, she bought the snacks, etc. We have been friends a long time, though.
Bigger amounts we take care of with the Venmo app, as we never have cash and it's easier. If I buy all our concert tickets, they just venmo me their portion.
Do you ever pay for the both of you for anything?
yeah splitting big stuff makes sense! I dont have a problem with that. I just didn't realize small things were a big deal.
I don't keep track but i am thinking... I bought her a soda and then another time a snack and a can of soda. I went in to grab me something and offered t get her something too. No big deal. It was like 2 or 3 bucks... that kind of stuff I think is fine?! I could be wrong I guess. Apparently it's a big deal to her.
The short answer is that she is cheap. They get really stressed about money. This is not an uncommon trait and it usually has to do with how someone was raised. As long as it doesn't annoy you and it goes both ways (meaning, she's not stiffing you and at the same time giving you receipts for $2.97), I would just tolerate it if she is otherwise a cool person.
I don't think that you can just assume that the friend is cheap. It could be that she has a very, very tight budget. Maybe you have always had loads of extra money but many people do not. I remember a time in graduate school when Hubby and I literally had zero money left until I received my next paycheck 10 days later. Zero money for food or gas or anything. We certainly could not just loan out $10 to someone, at that time,and forget about it. We weren't cheap just broke.
And, this happened several other times in our lives, too, due to unemployment, illness, and/or disability.
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