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I started taking dance classes a few weeks ago.The classes are every 2 weeks which isn't a lot so to make up for it I wanted to find someone to practice with between classes occasionally but I don't know how to go about it.I hate and I mean HATE to ask women for favors or to spend time with me since over the years I have met very few women who seemed to like spending time with me.I know some women that I interact with in social groups but I am always afraid to ask any of them to do anything outside the group structure for fear of them thinking that I am getting too personal with them .I guess I have spent most of my adult life this way,dating only here and there and not spending too much time with women otherwise (I have more so lately in a social group I belong to but as I said not outside the group).If I had to narrow it down to one thing that keeps most women from wanting to spend time with me I would say it's my weight.Since my mid 20s I have been a heavy guy.I have lost some weight over the last few months through intermittent fasting and I exercise and play golf and I feel much better healthwise but I am still a hefty guy and I feel pretty sure that women are passing me over (even if just as a friend ) before I say a word to them. Getting someone to spend time with me practicing dance between classes seems like a hard thing to do.Its something I have never done.
Last edited by senecaman; 05-18-2018 at 11:02 PM..
Join group classes at your dance school, there are generally 3-4 a week. Attend the practice parties. Try asking other students if they would like to meet up for practice. Most studios would even let you meet there to practice so it's not like a date. Look for dance clubs in your area they tend to meet up weekly for practice.
Join group classes at your dance school, there are generally 3-4 a week. Attend the practice parties. Try asking other students if they would like to meet up for practice. Most studios would even let you meet there to practice so it's not like a date. Look for dance clubs in your area they tend to meet up weekly for practice.
Thank You
It's not a dance school though.Its a meetup group that meets every other Wednesday.We meet at public building at a park owned by the city. Its put on by a man and a woman who are dance partners and we each pay $7 for 2 hours.He has told us about dances that go on in Greenville SC where the practice is.I have been to 2 classes but none of the women that I can tell so far are open to getting together outside of class.I did send an email (through meetup) to one of the women I met the first night that I danced with asking her how she liked the class .I sent her that email yesterday morning.I haven't heard back from her but I don't know if she has seen the email or not. I live an hour from Greenville so I can only be there so much but I would like to have a partner to simplify some of what the instructor has taught us.I think the steps he is trying to teach us are too complicated but with a partner I can learn some of what he has showed us and do it in a way that works for me.The trick for me is actually getting a woman that wants to do this.As I said getting women to do things with me has been very hard most of my life. I like golf better than dancing .If I could find a woman to play golf I would just do that and skip the dancing.But either way I haven't had much luck with even being just friends with women.Around women I always feel like I have to watch myself and stay cool and not give the impression I am coming on to them in any way so that they won't have an excuse to run.Most women if they like me at all like me to be a friendly safe acquaintance who doesn't ask for much (like getting together outside of the scheduled group time).
Last edited by senecaman; 05-19-2018 at 08:23 AM..
Dances are typically short of men, and the women at dances want to dance--so why do you feel like you're asking a favor? Go to the dances, ask a woman to dance at the beginning of the song. Repeat. Dancing with different partners helps your leading.
Asking someone to be a regular dance partner might give the impression you want a relationship.
Dances are typically short of men, and the women at dances want to dance--so why do you feel like you're asking a favor? Go to the dances, ask a woman to dance at the beginning of the song. Repeat. Dancing with different partners helps your leading.
Asking someone to be a regular dance partner might give the impression you want a relationship.
Thank You
I guess at some point I will try that.I am not ready for a dance yet.The steps the instructor is teaching are way too hard for beginners(they are hard for me to learn at least).He is trying to teach us to do a quickstep dance and I am not getting it.I did go to a dance school (expensive) for awhile some years ago and I had an instructor show me how to do a basic hustle move with a partner and I did that relatively well.I was thinking about taking what I can use from the instructor I have now and learning it on a level that works for me.Also on youtube they have a lot of simple dance moves.So i could add that to a simplified version of what he is teaching.But I cant ask a woman in the class to practice occasionally with me? because that's who i see .I don't know yet when I will get to or be ready for an actual dance. Although I like these things to a degree I am doing this dance class and the other things (losing weight and exercising and going to my other social group every other week and taking up golf) to try to get out of always just being not a friend , but mostly an acquaintance , and actually getting to a mature relationship. I have spent most of my adult life being the "safe " guy you didn't have to worry about asking you for anything and I have had very few real relationships to show for it. I am not so young anymore and I don't think I thought dating would be this way when you got older.I thought by a certain age you could show your interest in a woman and she could either refuse or not but still show grace either way but for the most part I still feel like I am in high school when dealing with women. I think I have changed for the better but dating is still the same.If its just about not being a great looking guy then I guess I am stuck.Looks wise I don't know where I stand .Not too high I would guess. I haven't gotten many compliments from women.A woman once told me when I was 20 (and weighed less ) that I was cute .I haven't gotten much more than that other than the women who cut my hair compliment that I have thick hair and I am not losing it.
Last edited by senecaman; 05-19-2018 at 09:29 AM..
If you act like a shlub you're going to put women off. Chin up, shoulders back (for dancing and asking).
As for dancing, you'll have to go more than every two weeks to get good at it. Most guys I asked said they went to dance classes for a month or two before going to regular dances. Find a beginner class that meets at least once a week. Stay away from studios--go to the places where they have dances and the lessons beforehand.
It's not a dance school though.Its a meetup group that meets every other Wednesday.We meet at public building at a park owned by the city. Its put on by a man and a woman who are dance partners and we each pay $7 for 2 hours.He has told us about dances that go on in Greenville SC where the practice is.I have been to 2 classes but none of the women that I can tell so far are open to getting together outside of class.I did send an email (through meetup) to one of the women I met the first night that I danced with asking her how she liked the class .I sent her that email yesterday morning.I haven't heard back from her but I don't know if she has seen the email or not. I live an hour from Greenville so I can only be there so much but I would like to have a partner to simplify some of what the instructor has taught us.I think the steps he is trying to teach us are too complicated but with a partner I can learn some of what he has showed us and do it in a way that works for me.The trick for me is actually getting a woman that wants to do this.As I said getting women to do things with me has been very hard most of my life. I like golf better than dancing .If I could find a woman to play golf I would just do that and skip the dancing.But either way I haven't had much luck with even being just friends with women.Around women I always feel like I have to watch myself and stay cool and not give the impression I am coming on to them in any way so that they won't have an excuse to run.Most women if they like me at all like me to be a friendly safe acquaintance who doesn't ask for much (like getting together outside of the scheduled group time).
Have you thought about going to a dance school and just getting a group class package? When I worked for Arthur Murray we had a deal where you could buy so many group classes with no private lessons. Granted that was decades ago, but the local dance school here has pay per class group classes, and they are always short on men. It's worth looking in to.
Lose the weight. You will feel better, be healthier, and have more confidence.
I am approximately the same height as you and my weight goal is 150 pounds. I'm also large framed.
Lose the weight. You will feel better, be healthier, and have more confidence.
I am approximately the same height as you and my weight goal is 150 pounds. I'm also large framed.
Thanks
I eat twice a day and nothing in between meals but you only lose so much after doing low carb more than once.The first time I was 265 and got down to 220 but I put it back on.I have been doing low carb and intermittent fasting for 3 months now and I went from 260 to 240.The diet at this time takes off weight slowly and it keeps my blood sugar low.I exercise ,play golf and when I go to the driving range I am there for 2 hours and I work hard.The weight is only going to come off so much at this point.Most people lose weight just to gain it back.If I can lose another 15 or 20 pounds over the next several months I will be happy.We are not all destined to be the ideal weight but I took my blood pressure yesterday and it was 117 over 73 and my heart rate was 64 bpm and I am back in golf playing shape.
Last edited by senecaman; 05-19-2018 at 10:35 AM..
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