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Why? Drugs? Booze? Mental illness? Something you said?
I don't know why your friend betrayed you and it doesn't matter. You guys are living in Crazytown, where nothing normal happens.
Normal people don't live like this. The hitting, the drinking, the drug use, the emotional drama--it's out of control. You'll need to be around normal people to know how to act and live. They show respect to each other. They talk about things if they disagree. And they can disagree about certain things and still get along.
darlin'....can i just make a gentle suggestion??? can you just not ask Why about your friend and just stay focused on yourself..... sometimes it isn't part of a young person's mindset, i get that..... but i'd just like to suggest you look at yourself and your behavior that contributed to some of this drama.... i'm not blaming you sweetie, but the only person you can change is yourself....and i think you've already mentioned numerous times you have been drunk during these altercations..... i know it's hard to hear but this is a known fact: if your work, your life, your friendships, your family have experienced a negative impact over your behaviors under the influence, you really need to address that, work on yourself please. get some help. get a good therapist....at the VERY LEAST..... and better yet, do attend a few AA meetings and do what is SUGGESTED.... attend at least 6-10 meetings, listen carefully, give it a chance.... if you still don't believe you have any kind of substance abuse problem, then you aren't ready right now to admit you might have a problem.... just know that you really do not want to be behind a wheel, or get physical with another human being that could cause irreversible harm before you can see that there is a serious problem with how you are acting. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. Please get help. PLEASE.
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