Why am I getting negative feedback on my pregnancy? (wedding, brother, sister)
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You’re young and unmarried. Even being engaged, it’s generally considered a recipe for a difficult life, statistics hear it out in terms of success of the relationship long term, economic outcomes, even generational trends.
I say this as someone who married young and had children fairly shortly thereafter - the odds aren’t in your favor generally or in terms of perception. The good news is that you are an individual, not a statistic, and you can make your own future and choices. Congratulations and I wish you the very best, I hope you do beat the odds.
Once upon a time, not really all that long ago, one did not broadcast news of a pregnancy before marriage. In fact, news of a pregnancy within nine months of the actual ceremony garnered some whispers. Sometimes, such an occurrence was quite the scandal. At least there was no "social media" for people to publicly comment.
Things have changed a great deal.
Babies come frequently now without benefit of marriage by their parents. This is no longer shocking. Sometimes the parents marry and sometimes they don't.
You are evidently surrounded by a "baby mama" culture. Expecting those who didn't get a ring put on it to congratulate and envy you is immature. I recommend that you not get too smug. There's no guarantee you will not join their ranks.
Unmarried and pregnant(you're having a kid out of wedlock)
And you're uneducated (they think you don't have the smarts)
If you want to prove them wrong then finish your bachlors education, get married, and get a good paying job. No it won't be easy but it's possible.
Among my friends and close relatives, this is the scorecard for when people had their first child.
Hubby and me. Married five years, Hubby, undergraduate degree, master's degree, law degree. Me, undergraduate degree, master's degree. Both 30 years old.
Big Brother and wife. Married five years, both with college degrees. Both 28 years old.
Big Sister and husband. Married three years, both with undergraduate degrees & master's degrees. Both 26 plus years old.
Little Brother and wife. Married four years, both with undergraduate degrees, Both 30 years old.
Our son and most of our nieces and nephews, and most of our friends were married for two to five years before they had their first child, all had finished their educations and had good jobs and all were in their mid/late twenties or early thirties.
Guess what? Not even one divorce in the group, except for the couple that were teenage parents, didn't finish their education before the pregnancy, had crappy jobs and a crappy life and got divorced before their baby turned two years old.
That is why I wouldn't be cheering for an unmarried, 18 year old to be pregnant. I suspect that is why you are not getting as many "cheers" as you expected. I really wish the best for you, but I suspect that it will be much harder than you imagine. Much, much harder.
Prove them wrong. I was you once. Actually, I was younger than you are now.
I had the baby; he’s 32 years old now, with a 5 year old son of his own. I went back to school, started at a community college with a 9th grade education & a 7 month old. I established a GPA, transferred to a university & I graduated.
I’m not going to lie & say it was easy but it was sure better than any of the alternatives.
Me, my fiancé and my mom announced to Facebook I was pregnant and people are making indirect statuses. I’m 18, I have a car, cna certificate, I live with the guy i’m Engaged to and he’s actually gonna be And is happy to be apart of our child’s life and my pregnancy. He even posted the ultra sound. A lot of other girls can’t relate to that. They’re not even fiancé’s they’re just baby moms. At least he proposed and i’m Gonna be his wife and not just his baby mama.
Well, if your Facebook posts are anything like the posts you've made here (yes, I looked at your history,) the relationship doesn't sound very stable. Of course, it could also be that those who have commented negatively have issues with your rather unwarranted superiority complex.
Me, my fiancé and my mom announced to Facebook I was pregnant and people are making indirect statuses. I’m 18, I have a car, cna certificate, I live with the guy i’m Engaged to and he’s actually gonna be And is happy to be apart of our child’s life and my pregnancy. He even posted the ultra sound. A lot of other girls can’t relate to that. They’re not even fiancé’s they’re just baby moms. At least he proposed and i’m Gonna be his wife and not just his baby mama.
Because 18 is very, very young to be having a child. You are still pretty much a child yourself.
Here's the thing. A child is a blessing. But, at the same time, a child makes everything else in life take a back seat. Your education, for example, which is paramount if you are going to enjoy self-sufficiency and a life beyond merely living paycheck to paycheck.
Second, while the guy you're marrying is terrific, I think that the two of you need to understand how important maturity and patience is going to need to figure into your lives. Marriages that begin at your age have a very high divorce rate, chiefly because you are not a fully realized person yet. You may think you are, but no.
And, if I'm your parent, I'm thinking, "Wait. I just finished raising my daughter to adulthood. Will I have to immediately start helping to raise a grandchild, too?" As someone whose last child is about to depart to college, I can't tell you how much trepidation I would feel.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 11 days ago)
35,637 posts, read 17,989,189 times
Reputation: 50679
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catgirl64
Well, if your Facebook posts are anything like the posts you've made here (yes, I looked at your history,) the relationship doesn't sound very stable. Of course, it could also be that those who have commented negatively have issues with your rather unwarranted superiority complex.
Yep. OP, it doesn't even sound like you're still in a relationship with this guy.
Fiance? I don't see it. He's blocked you and is ignoring you, as of end of October.
People who are not congratulating you on your pregnancy are seeing a long, long tough road ahead for your baby.
Because statistically speaking your relations has an extremely low chance of working out. I hope it does but the odds are not in your favor and people are reacting to knowing this.
. A lot of other girls can’t relate to that. They’re not even fiancé’s they’re just baby moms. At least he proposed and i’m Gonna be his wife and not just his baby mama.
They probably started out as fiancee's too. Promises are easily broken, and are...all the time.
people with negative comments on your pregnancy are probably picturing you as another single mom on the dole...can't blame them really...they'll probably think differently after your marriage....if that even ever happens.
When is the big day do you figure( marriage)...soon I hope.
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