Should I tell her now or at the meeting? (person, children, present)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, younger sister asked me to have a meal at Denny's on the C-Eve.
I'm torn as this would be the time for telling her if she feels like she did in 2008, then we will part and never talk again.
Or do I respond to her request with the same thing I'd ask her at the meeting?
Namely she told me in 2008 "I have adopted two children, but I don't want you to meet them" Needless to say I didn't speak with her for 10 years. I am NOT interested in meeting them frankly, but it's her attitude that makes me not want to even chat with her frankly...
We have spoken by phone (More like she told me everything she has done) and that's all. I admit I am not really keen on rekindling this relationship. Maybe I should just let her know that I feel we'd be best to just not chat with each other from here on?
Well, younger sister asked me to have a meal at Denny's on the C-Eve.
I'm torn as this would be the time for telling her if she feels like she did in 2008, then we will part and never talk again.
Or do I respond to her request with the same thing I'd ask her at the meeting?
Namely she told me in 2008 "I have adopted two children, but I don't want you to meet them" Needless to say I didn't speak with her for 10 years. I am NOT interested in meeting them frankly, but it's her attitude that makes me not want to even chat with her frankly...
We have spoken by phone (More like she told me everything she has done) and that's all. I admit I am not really keen on rekindling this relationship. Maybe I should just let her know that I feel we'd be best to just not chat with each other from here on?
Sounds like (bolded) you've answered your own question. You've even provided yourself a solution. What was your gut telling you after you got off the phone with her? Did her attitude change for better, worse or the same as in 2008?
Sounds like there is a lot to the story that isn't stated. Not wanting the OP to meet her kids is just bizarre - there must have been a huge falling out or the sister thinks the OP would have a negative influence on the kids.
I would not meet her on C eve at a Dennys of all places. Besides, why would she not be with her family if it is C eve? Weird in itself.
I would call and ask her what's up, that there is no need to wait for C eve (maybe she has a present for you?) and that you would just prefer to find out what's up before that.
Well, I hate myself for not asking her whether she still felt this way. It was "I did this, I saw that, Relative died" and not a whole lot of any interest in what I was doing or older sibling.
But I really wasn't interested in the conversation....Thanks, I think I'll tell her that I need to know if she still feels the same as she did long ago...
As another posted "Rather odd she'd leave family to have this meeting"
I agree, she obviously doesn't want me to see her kids (I suspect she adopted children of color which I think is great as she sees the need of the child and not race but thinks or feels I'll go all KKK about it....sheesh...)
Well, I messaged her (On FB) and asked her if she stills feels that way.
"Well, I have to ask this as it is important and I wish I had asked you earlier. If you recall when I came back from Missouri, you said you had adopted two kids. But you didn't want me to meet them. Do you feel this way still?"
If she says yes, then I'll just tell her it's best to go our separate ways as I am not interested in meeting someone whose either embarrassed about their family or has some reason they wish to hide their family from their kids"
I do know she hasn't spoken with older sibling for about the same length of time. I suspect that it may relate to when our Mother passed. Younger was Mom's "Pet" she is very intelligent, has done things I am amazed or impressed by (And I have told her that) but when Mom died, that was her "Bestie" and my "Bestie" is the older sibling (We were hell raisers) and she's still alive.
I agree, she obviously doesn't want me to see her kids (I suspect she adopted children of color which I think is great as she sees the need of the child and not race but thinks or feels I'll go all KKK about it....sheesh...)
I see. Well, if that is the case then I would give her room. She is protecting her kids.
Well she has contacted me. Seems either she was not clear, or she misspoke or even I am mistaken.
She claims to not have adopted any kids, fostered some kids but not since 2012.... But I did have a phone chat where she mentioned the "Kiddos" so am not 100% she's lying or being honest.
But we have agreed to meet (I mean if she's telling the truth, then I guess it can't hurt) so we'll see what happens...
Sounds like your and her communication skills are clearly lacking. There is no reason to have so much mystery and ambiguity, especially with family.
If she does or doesn't have kids, I would think, would be a thing someone would know about their sibling, so there is quite a bit to this story you have left out.
Also, your surmising that she might think you'd go "all KKK" if you knew she had kids of color says something about your moral character and I hope that is untrue (only because it would be nice to have one less racist person in the country, but I understand that is just wishful thinking about a stranger).
I hope you'll bring your children, but even if you don't, I'll still meet."
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
