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It's rough at first, but if you keep at it, life becomes fun.
As a drinking alcoholic (16 years), I didn't think I was sick. Now, after 44 years of sobriety, I still don't think I was sick. I was just a garden variety drunk. Why was I a drunk? Does it really matter? If I found out why I drank, I would probably think myself clever enough to try to drink differently. Drunks, like me, think that way.
I tend to feel the same way. Did I have causes deep within my personality? Is there perhaps even a genetic predisposition at work? Maybe. But getting on with my life is what mattered and what matters.
The answers to those questions would be interesting. But life is short, death is long and I already wasted an awful lot of time, so it's about moving on, having a life worth living.
I quit drinking almost 8 years ago. Since then, I have come across a few people who became offended I wasn't drinking with them. One even tried getting in my face about it. He backed down when I stood up and asked if he'd like to take his personal grievances outside. I may still go to bars but that's due to being a designated driver. Even then, some of the patrons will have an issue with me for refusing to drink any alcohol. Many of my coworkers have commented how they don't trust a man who doesn't drink. That's their problem. Not mine.
Disagree. The people who MIGHT "have it most difficult as alcohol free people" are those who are overly worried about being accepted socially. They are more likely to cave and engage in something they don't really want to do just to be part of a group. They could be single, unattached, married, or anything in between. A confident person will make a choice that's right for them regardless of what others do.
Absolutely right---but most people who aren't extreme introverts care very much about being accepted socially. This writer discuses how she realized just how alcohol-focused most social events are when she gave up drinking. I think she hits the nail on the head---asking what is so bad with most people's lives that they can't get through sober. She mentions how people can't attend movies any more without drinking. There are now some events that combine yoga and drinking! She notes seeing bridesmaids come to a resort to "party"---and they come already drunk. She even mentions a baby shower where the pregnant guest of honor is encouraged to drink.
I personally don't drink alcohol, but that just gives me an excuse not to socialize more as a confirmed introvert. I can see where it would be incredibly difficult to not drink and still attempt to hang out with friends...and I think that would be the cased equally with male and female friends. The article is written from a feminine perspective and there is no question that young women are catching up to men's drinking---number of cases of cirrhosis of the liver is definitely increasing in millenial women, which used to be unheard of at that age.
I quit drinking almost 8 years ago. Since then, I have come across a few people who became offended I wasn't drinking with them. One even tried getting in my face about it. He backed down when I stood up and asked if he'd like to take his personal grievances outside. I may still go to bars but that's due to being a designated driver. Even then, some of the patrons will have an issue with me for refusing to drink any alcohol. Many of my coworkers have commented how they don't trust a man who doesn't drink. That's their problem. Not mine.
I've only been around one group of people who hassled me directly because I didn't drink. It was the first time I'd been around anyone who cared one way or the other. It bothered me a bit because we were coworkers in a very small town with few others of our age group to do anything with outside work. Most of them definitely headed for a stupor on a regular basis. I was ostracized somewhat but eventually found a couple of people to do other things with. Chalk it up to learning to live with peer pressure.
Most of the time the worst aspect has been going to various parties or potlucks and the host neglecting to provide anything other than alcohol to drink. When I'd ask for something else I'd get the blank look "Oh I forgot about you. The tap water tastes OK." Or, once in a while if they do remember, making a public announcement that singles you out. "Welcome everyone! Here's wine, beer, something a little stronger. Oh, and for you Parnassia, I think we've got some juice in the back of the fridge". A bit thoughtless, but survivable.
Last edited by Parnassia; 02-10-2019 at 05:06 PM..
I worry that my lack of drinking contributes to my lack of responses on dating sites.
It seems like everyone there is looking for someone who is a "social drinker" (or they have no stated preferences at all, which is equally frustrating)
My sleep is already pretty poor, and alcohol makes it way worse.
I am biased because I have a family member I love very much who struggles with substance abuse.
It absolutely pisses me off that anyone would challenge someone who is trying to stay sober (and in my relative's case, it is "life or death").
I also despise the alcohol saturated (no pun intended) culture, where every holiday is an excuse to binge drink. I hate American society for creating alcohol as such a necessary adjunct to life itself.
Pot is a much less deadly form of altering one's consciousness, if you HAVE to have an altered consciousness (and according to "studies," from the beginning of time this has been sought after.
Pia Mellody said reality is too painful for some people.
Being biased, pissed off, despising, and hating are not good places to be; you may want to find out why what others do disturbs you so much. It is the rare person who would challenge another's personal choices - why be concerned with the few unless they are imminently involved in your life? By the way, alcohol and its use have existed long before American society."
Absolutely right---but most people who aren't extreme introverts care very much about being accepted socially. This writer discuses how she realized just how alcohol-focused most social events are when she gave up drinking. I think she hits the nail on the head---asking what is so bad with most people's lives that they can't get through sober. She mentions how people can't attend movies any more without drinking. There are now some events that combine yoga and drinking! She notes seeing bridesmaids come to a resort to "party"---and they come already drunk. She even mentions a baby shower where the pregnant guest of honor is encouraged to drink.
I personally don't drink alcohol, but that just gives me an excuse not to socialize more as a confirmed introvert. I can see where it would be incredibly difficult to not drink and still attempt to hang out with friends...and I think that would be the cased equally with male and female friends. The article is written from a feminine perspective and there is no question that young women are catching up to men's drinking---number of cases of cirrhosis of the liver is definitely increasing in millenial women, which used to be unheard of at that age.
I quit smoking 6 years (Come may 20th) ago. I still imbibe at times, but my older sister was with AA for 25 years...I'm impressed with anyone who fights an addiction and beats it.... Now if you'll excuse me, the casino calls...
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